Liar, Liar
by BerryliciousCheerio
Summary: Because sometimes it's just a little easier to lie. T for a reason. DISCONTINUED. YOU CAN FIND THE REVAMP UNDER THE TITLE the best laid plans THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, I'm trying something new. This is my first piece of work for the Castle fandom, so I hope it's some good. Oh, and no, I am not Andrew Marlowe. Much as I wish I was, I am not male, nor am I legal to drink. God, my life sucks.**

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Kate walked into the kitchen hesitantly, as she was unsure of how to break some news to her husband. She was hoping that he wouldn't notice her for a few moments, so she could collect her thoughts, but he shot down those hopes when he turned around and smiled. He said, "Hey, you're up!"

She forced herself to smile and then told him, "Um, why don't you sit down, Rick." His face immediately fell, because he knew that something was wrong.

He asked, "Kate, what's wrong?"

"Just…just sit down, please?" He did as she asked, and he slowly lowered himself onto one of the barstools. She sat down as well and took his hands.

She said, "Look, Rick, I don't know how to tell you this, and I hope that once I do, you won't think any less of me."

"Oh God, you're leaving me, aren't you?"

"What? No, I'm not leaving you," she let out a breath and continued, "I just, um, got a call from CPS. Look, what I'm about to tell you will probably shock you a little. Are you ready?" He nodded and she began again, "When I was nineteen, I went to a party at my friends' dorm. It was right after my mother's murder and I wasn't myself. There was a keg and I overdid it a-and…after that, I don't really remember anything. But, about a month later, I found out I was pregnant." She waited a moment, so that he could process the information. Then she said, "I gave her up for adoption." She went on to tell him that her daughter, Caroline, was about to be bounced to another foster home. The woman from CPS thought that calling the birth mother might be a reasonable choice, since Caroline was running out of foster homes that were willing to take her in.

Kate tensed up a little when Rick opened his mouth, but he said, "Well, let's take her in."

"Hold up. I tell you about the child I put up for adoption fourteen years ago, and you immediately say 'let's take her in'?"

"Kate, she's your daughter. I'm sure she'll manage to steal my heart as quickly as her mother did."

Kate smiled faintly and said, "Well, alright. It's actually very good that you said that, because we're going to meet her on Saturday."

* * *

Bright and early Saturday morning, Kate and Rick Castle were sitting in their den, discussing what they were going to do and how they were going to tell people about Caroline. Rick suggested, "We could hire a plane to parade a banner during rush hour?"

Kate rolled her eyes and said, "Think smaller."

"I would, but we have a place to be. You sure you're ready for this?" She nodded and they got up and walked towards the door. He held it open for her and she smiled as she stepped through.

* * *

The two hour drive gave Kate enough time to begin completely freaking out over the fact that she was about to come face to face with a girl that most likely had some serious resentment towards her. Rick glanced over at her and asked, "You okay?" She nodded and turned to face to passing scenery. He knew enough to let the conversation die. They arrived at a little dilapidated home, situated miles away from the nearest gas station, and were greeted with the sight of a yard cluttered with little children's toys.

Little faces were pressed up against the glass and when they exited the car, they could hear shouts of, "MRS. GREEN, THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE DRIVEWAY," ringing through the small home. Before they even reached the door, a woman, presumably Mrs. Green, threw it open and stood there, looking like she had just thrown on some clothes.

When they got close enough, she said breathlessly, "So, are y'all here for Carly? Oh, wait, the people up at CPS probably call her 'Caroline'. Word of advice, if you don't want mayonnaise in your purse, call her Carly. …Oh, I'm sorry, I'm making you stand out in the cold. Come in, come in." She ushered them in and began hastily grabbing toys from the ground and magazines from random nooks and crannies.

"I'm so sorry, the house has been cramped lately since the Kinsel twins came in. I forgot y'all were coming today…JOSEPH, I SAW THAT…sorry, they get a little rowdy sometimes." Kate was trying to keep up with Mrs. Green's train of thought, as the woman spoke about a mile a minute, while Rick was looking around the house, trying to find some sign that a fourteen year old girl lived in the house. While it was messy and cramped, all mess pointed towards little children, probably all under the age of seven. Toy trucks and dismembered Barbie dolls were scattered around the floor, but there were no teen magazines or books, or anything that might point towards a teenager.

Mrs. Green started to talk again, "I think Carly may've forgotten y'all were coming today. She usually sleeps in real late on Saturdays, only the Lord knows why."

Kate cut in, and asked, "What's she like?"

Mrs. Green stopped and hesitated, and then she answered, "She's, well, she's a little…ah…difficult. Very responsible though."

Kate pushed to topic, "How difficult?"

"They didn't tell you? She's been bounced through seventy four foster homes in four years because of her, well, her everything. She's very stubborn, very angry at the world. She doesn't take kindly to many folks. She's…well, not exactly sweet, but she can be less horrible when she wants to be. Speaking of Carly, I should go wake her up, so y'all can meet each other before she has to leave with y'all. She is going with y'all, right?" Rick nodded.

"Well, okay, I'll be right back. Hopefully she's not gonna be too demonic this morning." Mrs. Green shuffled around the scattered toys and made her way to a room in the back. From where they were seated, they could hear a door slam open and a very shrill shriek.

They could hear muted voices and then a higher, girlier voice yelling, "Fine!"

The voice fell silent and then raised again, "CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR." Mrs. Green shuffled back into sight and flopped onto one of the couches in what was assumed to be the living room.

Kate smiled wryly and said, "So, that's Carly, huh?" Mrs. Green nodded exhaustedly. A few moments later, the door slammed back open. Both Kate and Rick turned to see just who Carly was. As she rounded the corner, Kate inhaled sharply. Carly was more perfect than she'd imagined. She had very dark, curly hair that contrasted with her pale complexion. Her face resembled Kate's greatly, but Carly had a pair of dimples on her cheeks. Rick was taken aback by the resemblances between mother and daughter. Carly, for her part, was beginning to feel just a little uncomfortable with all the attention being directed at her. She bent to scratch her knee through her jeans and the movement broke the trance.

When she straightened, she asked, "So, you're my parents?"

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**Hokay, so not my best, but I'm still feeling out the territory. I hope to improve, but I need some feedback! Please leave your thoughts in a review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alright, I'd just like to say that all the story alerts gave me a pretty big self esteem boost. So, thanks! Anyway, I'd like to reiterate these two facts. A). I'm still feeling out the territory and B). I still don't own Castle or any of the characters. Damn.**

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"_So, you're my parents?" _

Before either Kate or Rick could respond, Carly flicked her hazel eyes to Mrs. Green. "I thought you'd said they were coming next Saturday."

Mrs. Green's eyes flashed from Carly's annoyed face to the slightly stunned faces of the Castles and said, "Now Carly, I told you that they were coming today. Play nice."

"Why should I?"

"Carly, I'm going to go check on the little ones and if I come back out here and I find that you're being a little bitch, so help me God…" She trailed off and got up from her chair and stomped to the back of the house. Carly loped over to the chair that Mrs. Green had once inhabited and flopped down.

She let out a deep sigh and said, "So, you're my parents. Or, so I'm assuming, as I never got an answer for my first question." She sent a glare in their direction. She crossed and re-crossed her legs. She fiddled with the sleeves of her jacket and tugged her shirt down to cover her bellybutton. The house seemed silent suddenly.

Carly broke the silence abruptly by saying, "Oh God, what am I sitting on?" She twisted around in her chair and reached down into the cushion. Her hand reemerged clutching a Barbie doll leg. She called out, "HOLLY, I FOUND YOUR LEG!"

A little girl hurtled out of a door to the left and said, "Thanks Carly!" She snatched up the Barbie limb and disappeared in the direction she came from.

Carly turned back to the Castles and explained, "The twins got in a fight and took to dismembering each other's Barbies. I've been finding limbs since last Wednesday." She twirled a lock of hair and curled her legs up underneath her.

Mrs. Green yelled, "CARLY! YOU BETTER BE ACTIN' SWEET!"

Carly rolled her eyes and screamed back, "I'M SHOWING THEM HOW TO ROLL POT! THAT SWEET ENOUGH FOR YOU?" The following door slam shook the walls of the house. Carly muttered, "Damn drama queen." She dropped the lock of hair and flicked it over her shoulder. The house fell silent again. Finally, right when Kate opened her mouth to ask another question, Carly announced, "I'm leaving now." And so she did.

Before Kate could say anything, Carly was up and halfway across the room. Carly screamed, "MRS. GREEN! THE CONVERSATION HAS HALTED! I SURRENDER! WHITE FLAG, WHITE FLAG!" Carly disappeared down the hall. A door slammed.

Mrs. Green shuffled back into view and said, "I'm so sorry about that. If you no longer want her, I'm sure she'll do just fine with the next family. But really," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "it's only a matter of time until she gets herself shipped off to Juvie or a military school." Kate bristled.

"Of course we still want her. She's my daughter." Mrs. Green sighed and gave her a _You'll see_ look.

But, she said, "Alright. I'll go tell Carly to get her bag." She actually just turned her head and screamed, "CAARRRR-LY! GET YOUR BAG, YOU'RE LEAVING!" Suddenly, the room was swamped with what seemed like thousands of small children. In all actuality, it was probably only seven or eight.

The children scrambled to the back of the house, the majority screaming, "CARLY!" Carly emerged after a few moments, a small duffel bag slung over her shoulder, with a pre-schooler on each leg and several others trailing behind her. She slogged along until she was out of the hallway. She looked down and smiled faintly.

"Holly, Maggie, you really need to let go of my legs. I have to go."

One yelled, "Never!" while the other just tighter. Carly dropped her bag to the ground, careful to avoid hitting any of the little kids and gently pried the girls off her legs. She kneeled down and was bowled over by the children that had pressed in around her.

When they cleared and scattered in different directions, Carly was splayed out on the floor, with a slightly dazed look on her face. Kate stood and helped her up. When Carly was vertical again, she looked up at Kate and said, "Damn. I always get the tall ones."

Kate stammered for a moment and then asked, somewhat shyly, "Excuse me?"

"I mean really, is it so hard to place me with some tiny Asian family? Or maybe give me a growth spurt. Or _something_." She then turned on her heel and threw her bag over her shoulder. She looked back at the three adults, one a former caregiver, two present caregivers, and said, "Let's go."

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**Alright, I hope it was satisfactory. Again, I can't get any better if I don't have some feedback. So (hopefully I don't sound too much like a review whore) please, please, PLEASE review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright, I'd just like to thank all the reviewers as well as all of those that put an alert on my story. I'm starting to feel a lot more confident, so thank you for your kind words. Anyway, chapter three and, darn, I still don't own Castle. Maybe by chapter four... Oh, and thank you nahbois68 idea of doing something a little more Carly centered!**

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Carly's words were abrupt and oh, did she love the reaction. She knew that Mrs. Green was probably expecting her to throw a fit or whip out a gun and shoot up the room or something like that. And the other two (Richard (A.K.A Rick) A. Castle, best-selling author. Kate Beckett-Castle, homicide detective and, _gulp_, birth mother) were dumbfounded. Carly figured they were trying to figure her out. Everyone tried, but rarely did they ever succeed. Of course, those that did succeed tended to send her back to the agency very, very quickly.

That thread of thought reminded her that she needed to add Mrs. Green's name to her long, _long_ list of names, of homes that had gotten rid of her at the first opportunity. Carly snapped out of her own little world when Richard Castle (yes, _the_ Richard Castle. God, her friends were going to _love_ this) stood and clapped his hands together. "Well, let's get this show on the road, shall we?" He smiled, but Carly saw right through it.

He probably didn't like Mrs. Green, nor did he like how Mrs. Green treated her. Great, she got stuck with the fatherly type. He'd probably threaten to beat up a few boys and then sit down and nurse a glass of scotch for hours on end. He was also most likely trying to cover for his wife, her _mother_, who was looking more than a little overwhelmed. Carly smirked. She guessed they'd last a little longer than other families had, if only because of Kate's…hmm…guilt, perhaps? Or maybe shame would be the driving force. Kate agreed with Rick, and walked towards the door.

Mrs. Green looked positively giddy at the thought of ridding herself of Carly. Mrs. Green turned to Kate and handed her a small notebook. She told her, "We're required to keep a list of allergies of every kid. This also has her schedule. She has a standing appointment with a psychiatrist and…some other things I think."

Carly glanced down the hall and saw Holly and one of the boys, Parker, peering out of the girls' room. They waved and she smiled at them. She never really had gotten used to having to leave the little kids. Richard held the door open for Kate and waited patiently for Carly to walk through. But Carly had one last thing to do.

* * *

Carly turned to Richard and asked, "Can I have a minute to say goodbye to Auntie Sylvia?" She gestured to Mrs. Green. Richard nodded and closed the door behind him.

He turned to Kate and said, "She wanted to say goodbye to Mrs. Green." Inside the house, Carly was not saying a tearful farewell, but instead, she dropped her bag and stalked over to Mrs. Green.

She hissed, "I swear to God, if you ever, _ever_ lay a hand on any of those children, and I find out, I will find you and I will make you pay. Do you understand?" Mrs. Green laughed in derision.

She told Carly, "You can't talk to me like that. If you ever threaten me again, I can just tell your new family all about you and…what was his name…Liam, was it? I'm sure they wouldn't like to hear that you're a little slut. And then, no one will ever want to take you in. You'll rot, alone at the Institution. You'll die and nobody will care. Nobody."

"Bitch."

Mrs. Green whipped her hand up and slapped Carly across the cheek. Carly bit her tongue to keep back the scream that was bubbling up to the surface. She brought a hand to her cheek and felt the warmth and the blood pulsing beneath the surface. She picked her bag up once again and threw the door open. It slammed against the side of the house and startled Kate, who was leaning against the front of the house.

Kate asked softly, "Are you okay?" Carly glared at the ground and stalked towards where Richard was waiting, keys in hand. Kate sighed and followed.

* * *

Almost three hours later (thanks rush hour), they returned to the loft. The car ride had been completely silent as Kate truly had no idea how to break the ice with Carly. Rick had tried to start a conversation, but Carly apparently had mastered the art of the cold shoulder.

Kate turned around to tell Carly that they were home, but she was greeted with the sight of Carly, passed out on the backseat. "She's beautiful, Kate. Just like you."

She looked over at her husband and said, "Oh, please tell me you're not trying to bust a move or something." She grinned and he smiled back.

He said, "Did it work? But seriously, I'm sure you'll figure it out. And I'll be right there with you, for the long haul." She rolled her eyes a little but smiled a little bigger.

And then she asked, "So how do we get her upstairs without waking her?"

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**Alright, I just had to work some Caskett-in-action into the chapter. Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I'm still developing Carly for myself, so if her train of thought was a little disjointed or unrealistic, please tell me. I'm trying to figure out exactly who I want her to be, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on her. Anyway, thank you again and I promise, I will have another chapter up relatively soon. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright, new chapter! Anyway, disclaimer: I don't own Castle. I'm very sad. But, you shouldn't be, so read!**

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"_So how do we get her upstairs without waking her?"_

"I can walk, you know." Their heads snapped back to see a very awake and very alert looking Carly staring back at them.

Kate, who was still completely out of her element, said, "But you were just asleep. Very deeply asleep."

"And now I'm not. Would you mind unlocking the doors? Claustrophobia is starting to set in." Rick turned to the door and hit the unlock button on the side panel of the door. Carly muttered a quick, "Thanks," and opened her door. Kate followed suit and went to get Carly's duffel.

Carly slid down out of the car and pulled a hairband out from her pocket. She pulled her hair up deftly and looked up at the apartment building she was standing in front of. She was slightly entranced by the sheer height of it. It wasn't as if she had never seen apartment buildings before, but she had never seen one up so close. She had lived in suburbs and tiny neighborhoods where the tallest building was the two story house that had just been built by a rich family that had decided to slum it.

She only snapped out of it when she heard a tentative voice call out, "Carly?" She snapped her eyes away from the top of the building and redirected her attention to where Kate and Rick were standing, which was surprisingly far away from where they had been last time she had checked. She hadn't been paying that much attention to a damn apartment building, had she? She glanced back to where the car had been and saw that a valet was trying to drive the car away, but it seemed that she was blocking his path. He shooed her with his hands and made a face, to which she responded with the subtle flip of the finger behind her back whilst she was walking towards the entrance of the building.

* * *

She trailed a few feet behind them as they led the way to the elevators, and then into their loft. Carly stopped right in front of their open front door. It suddenly hit her very, very hard (imagine being hit by a truckload of bricks…now multiply that by seventeen) that she had been moved. Again. And this time, she was now in her biological mother's custody. Her biological mother, the _cop_. Oh, and let's not forget her biological mother's husband, the great and mighty Richard Castle, writer extraordinaire. If this wasn't soap opera material, what was?

She walked in slowly, as if she were afraid that there was a zombie or something. Actually, she thought, there was something much scarier inside that loft. It was bigger than she had braced herself for. The den was connected to the kitchen, which was connected to the dining room. Those three rooms were bigger than some of the homes she had stayed in. Carly regarded the loft carefully, as one would examine a bug that they couldn't identify. She saw nothing that would send up any of the red flags that she had engrained into her mind. To Carly, red flags meant anything that screamed violence or psychotic. And looking around the loft, she saw nothing of that sort. Although, she did think that the puffer fish in the fish tank sitting in the corner looked a little sketchy. Something about fish that puffed out just unnerved her a little.

Kate was looking at her nervously while Richard was bustling around, putting away coats and the like. Kate spoke first, "So, I suppose we should introduce ourselves formally."

Carly's words were like ice, "Well, it would help, just a little." She supposed that she probably should have told her that she knew who they were, but she kind of wanted to see Kate squirm. Just a little, truly.

Kate said, "Well, um, I'm Kate and this is Rick. You can call me Kate and you can call him Rick or Castle." Kate glanced back at Rick to confirm that that was okay. He nodded. Kate turned back to Carly and began trying to be a mother.

* * *

Hours later, after Carly had stalked off to the guest room (her room, but Carly had refused to call it that), Kate curled up on the couch and opened the notebook Mrs. Green had handed her. At the top, the name CAROLINE J. HAYES was written in neat block print. Underneath, in the same handwriting, a list of allergies was written.

There were only three things on that list, being 1) Kiwis, 2) Goat's milk, and 3) Non-acetone nail polish remover. Underneath those three things, someone had written in messy cursive; life; annoying people; and gravity.

Kate couldn't help but smile to herself. Something told her that that was Carly's handwriting. The next page documented her various ailments. It said that she was prone to bronchial infections, had had pneumonia once, the flu four times, chicken pox when she was ten, and had broken eight different bones. Several other pages talked about her general personality (prickly, cranky, horrible, and mean were all used to describe it). Another page listed her schedule. She had an appointment with a psychiatrist every Thursday, like Mrs. Green had said, but she also had tutoring every Wednesday. Kate wondered whether she was the tutor or the student. In the few pages that followed, many families had written down things similar to a report card. Many were the same. She was a pain, she didn't respect authority, she refused to do anything when asked. A few noted that she was very good with the younger children, but the majority of them were negative upon negative. The rest of the pages were blank.

Kate closed the notebook and threw her head into a pillow and groaned. Rick rounded the corner of his office at that moment. He took a look at his wife's state and the notebook sitting next to her and asked, "That bad?"

Her muffled response was, "Worse. Read what other families said." He picked up the notebook and skimmed it.

"She threw a fish at someone?"

"Apparently, a guy looked at her weird, so she grabbed the nearest throwing object and hurled it at him. She's…she's going to be a handful. At best." He put the notebook down and pulled Kate up.

"Come on. Let's turn in early, and look at this with fresh eyes in the morning." Kate suddenly felt amazingly exhausted. She allowed Rick to guide her to their room and she collapsed on their bed, not even bothering to change into her night clothes. She could hear the laughter in his voice when he asked, "So I'm assuming that you're planning on staying like that." She mumbled something incomprehensible into her pillow, which he took as a yes. He crawled into bed next to her and moments later, they were both sound asleep.

* * *

At around twelve in the morning, a door creaked open. Carly poked her head out and looked around. The coast was clear and she pulled out her master ninja moves and made her way down the stairs and to the front door. She figured that they were like most families and kept a spare key somewhere near the front door. But, as it seems, they were not. She spent almost fifteen minutes searching for that damn key, before she found it, in a cookie shaped cookie jar (how original).

She shoved it in her back pocket and opened the door carefully. She made her way down to the lobby and waved to the night-man. He smiled back at her and she walked into the crisp night air. Carly yanked her jacket tighter around her body and zipped it up. She stuck her hand in her jacket pocket and pulled out her lighter and her pack of cigarettes. Shaking one out into her hand she shivered and lit up. She supposed that after all the shit that she'd dealt with, she was allowed one vice. Granted, that vice may end up killing her, but hell, don't they all?

She took a drag. Counted to five. Exhaled. Some guys across the street wolf-whistled at her and she threw them the finger.

She figured that she could deal with this neighborhood this late at night. It wasn't as ideal as the secluded woods that she had back at Mrs. Green's, but it was several steps ahead that shitty trailer park she stayed at for two weeks. She had had to beat up three (or was it four?) guys because they had gotten a little too friendly. She shook her head and breathed the cigarette in again.

She surveyed her surroundings while she finished up her cigarette. When she was done, dropped it to the ground and snuffed it out with the toe of her boot. She almost debated lighting up another one, until a cold wind blew in. Carly turned quickly and went back inside the deliciously warm building and rod the elevator back up to the, what was it, seventeenth level? Maybe it was the nineteenth. Carly's memory never was that good after she smoked.

She was reduced to checking each floor for the welcome mat (which was purple with green frogs on it, fairly recognizable) that told her that that was the apartment that held a whole new level of hell. She finally found it, on the twenty first floor. She fit the key into the lock and opened the door as silently as she could. She made her way back up the stairs, back into her room, and collapsed on the bed. She was out within minutes.

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**So, I beg of you, review! I'm finally feeling comfortable writing this, so I'd love to hear what you have to say! Hit. The. Button!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay! New chapter! And I still don't own Castle! Oh, wait, that's not an exclamation point worthy sentance. Sigh. But, this new chapter is totally exclamation point worthy! So, what're you waiting for? READ!**

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The next day, Kate walked down the stairs and was greeted by the sight of Carly, curled up on the couch, reading a book. Carly's eyes flicked up to Kate's face and then back down to her book. Kate took a deep breath and said, "Good morning."

Carly's eyes flicked back up to Kate and she muttered, "G'morning."

Kate trudged on, "How long have you been up?"

Carly didn't even look up when she answered, "Six-ish."

"So, are you always an early bird?"

"Usually." Kate walked into the kitchen and set about making some coffee, because if she had to figure out this moody, mono-syllable teenager, she'd need some caffeine in her bloodstream.

She glanced back over at Carly and asked, "Do you want coffee?" Carly's head snapped up in what seemed like surprise.

She managed to wipe her face of all emotion in record time and responded, "Sure. Thanks." She turned back to her book and Kate turned her attention back to the coffee pot. Rick made his downstairs when the smell of coffee brewing wafted upstairs. He spotted Carly and smiled.

He greeted her cheerily, "Good morning."

She responded in a somewhat grouchy sounding voice, "Good morning," and then she bounced up from the chair and took the stairs two at a time. Rick then made his way into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Kate's waist.

He planted a kiss on her cheek and murmured, "Good morning."

She smiled up at him and asked, "You want coffee?"

"Of course," he moved to start making pancakes, "Alexis says she's coming down next weekend. And Mother says that she can get away from filming for a family dinner next Saturday. I think that that might be a good time to introduce Carly…"

"Mhmm."

"You don't sound totally ecstatic about introducing your daughter to the family. Why don't you sound totally ecstatic about introducing your daughter to the family?"

"I just don't think that Carly is much of a…people person. I'm just worried that she'll, I don't know, freak out and throw a fish at someone. …Or put mayonnaise in someone's purse."

"I only did that once, and it was after I'd told her that I didn't want to be called Caroline seven or eight times." Carly walked down the stairs, looking a little more than pissed off and glaring at Kate. She continued, "I only throw fish at jerks who stare at my ass at the farmer's market, and I reserve the mayo in purses for special occasions, like when someone calls me the wrong name, or if they're just plain mean. Oh, and I am a people person, despite popular belief." She spat the last words out so venomously, Kate had to fight the urge to flinch. This girl was not going to break her, or intimidate her into submission.

She steeled her nerves and asked, "Any preferences for breakfast?"

"I have a dance class I have to get to in," she checked a watch that had magically appeared on her left wrist, "forty minutes, and it takes thirty-seven minutes to get downtown. So, no, I don't have any preferences."

"Wait, you take dance classes? Your notebook didn't say anything about dance classes."

"That's because no one cares enough to jot it down. They just write down things that the state makes them write. Let me guess, it says that I have an appointment with a psychiatrist and a tutor, right?" Kate nodded. "Well, I stopped going to tutoring two years ago. My grades went up. So, I'll be going, and I should be back sometime around, I'd say, two-ish. And, because I'm sure that you'll pull a 'concerned parent' thing, I will eat something with my friends after class, and I'll eat an apple on the subway to class." Kate was at a loss. That was the most Carly had said to her since they'd met. Again, she supposed, because technically they'd met when she was born, but that was three far too brief visits.

Kate finally found something to say, "Why don't I drive you? It'll be quicker, and we can pick you up something to eat on the way."

Carly stood, contemplating the pros (mostly the cons) and finally said, "Sure, if it won't inconvenience you too much." She said it in a sickeningly sweet tone and Kate decided, if she was going to play hardball, well, two could play at that game. She walked towards the door and grabbed her keys out of the bowl that held odds and ends and apparently the home of the emergency key as well.

Kate turned back to Carly and said, "Come on, you wouldn't want to be late, would you?" Carly shrugged and stalked out the door in front of Kate. Kate turned back to Rick and said, "Save the pancakes, I'll be home in forty, fifty minutes at the latest." He nodded and started towards his office. Kate turned back to Carly, who was waiting down by the elevator (damn, that kid moved fast), and said, "Wait up."

* * *

Ten minutes into the car ride, and it seemed as though Kate's idea was a somewhat stupid one. Carly was continually checking her watch and drumming her fingers on the side of the door looking like she wished she was anywhere but in that car. Kate commented, "Well, I guess not that many people are at church services."

Carly snorted and muttered, "Who goes to church anymore?"

Kate glanced around at the traffic, and said, "That's it, I'm taking Broadway." She turned the car down a sidestreet and tried starting a conversation. "So, I hear you attend RiverView. What's that like?" Carly's eyes started to sparkle a little at the mention of her school, but she kept her voice even.

"It's pretty cool. It's an alternative learning program, focused on tailoring to kids' specific interests and crap like that."

It seemed that Kate had struck gold in this topic, so she continued. "What classes do you have to take?" Carly almost started to smile, Kate thought, but it was gone so fast, she wasn't sure.

Carly answered (this time in a somewhat gleeful voice), "Ethics, Modern Justice, Intro to Psychology, Intro to the Legal System, American Lit. Throughout the Years, Math in Everyday Life, Science in the Real World, French 1 AP, and Theatre. I used to take more, but my principal made me cut back because I started moving more." Carly's tone changed from happy to cold in seconds.

Kate said, "That sounds cool. I didn't know they offered classes like Ethics and Psychology to middle schoolers."

"Like I said, it's tailored to meet students' interests. They don't limit kids because of their age. …Turn here."

Kate did as she was told and asked, "So you know the way to the dance place from here?"

"I've lived all over New York. I could tell you how to get to the 'dance place' from Rochester."

* * *

They actually made it to the dance studio with four minutes to spare. Traffic had been much, much worse than Kate had expected and Carly didn't seemed pleased by it. She muttered a quick, "Thanks," and vaulted out of the car. Kate was intrigued and decided it wouldn't kill Rick if he had to wait just a little longer. She got out of the car and walked in the door she had disappeared in moments earlier. In the lobby of the building, several women and a few men (presumably proud parents) were crowded around what she immediately noted was a one-way window.

She walked over and one of the women, a sturdy, kind, looking woman, turned to her and asked, "You must be Carly's new foster. I'm Natalie Forrester. The one in the teal jacket is my daughter, Ruby," she pointed, "She and Carly have known each other since they were itty-bitty."

Kate smiled and asked, "How'd you know I was Carly's…?"

"Oh, because, everyone here has been coming here every Sunday for four years. Only Carly's fosters change nearly every two weeks."

"Really…"

"Oh, yes. It's horrible. She's been through so much change for someone so young. I can only guess, but I don't think hers was a happy childhood. …Oh, oh! They're about to start. You're going to love this." Natalie turned her attention back to the window and watched as the teens (just about half of each gender, all looking twelve or so and older) paired off. Kate's eyes searched the faces and found, dressed in sweatpants and a tank top and a jacket, Carly pairing off with a blonde boy, who looked her age, maybe a little older.

Carly placed one and on the boy's shoulder and clasped his hand with her free hand. The boy put his hand on her hip and an older couple (the teacher's presumably) walked to the front.

The woman said, "HELLO my little beauties! Welcome back! So, since we finished up the jitter bug last week, it's time to start on the Viennese Waltz. Remember, once we show you the moves, no lifting. At all. Alright? Now, Marshall and I will give you a demo, and then we'll break it down. Marshall, hit the music."

* * *

An hour later, the class took a break. The parents all dispersed to get drinks, or snacks, or make bathroom runs, and Kate walked outside and called Rick. He picked up on the first ring. "I thought you'd be home an hour ago? I was almost about to send a search crew out."

Kate smiled to herself and said, "Don't worry. I just got a little curious about the mysterious dance classes, so I decided to stick around for a while. I understand nothing about dancing, but, oh my God, she's amazing."

"Do I detect some motherly pride?"

"What? No. Maybe. Yes, alright? Yes."

She could hear him chuckle on his phone, and she suggested, "Why don't you just meet me at…," she glanced around, "Luciana's for a late breakfast?"

"Sounds good. I lost the will to make pancakes when I saw that there was no whip cream in the house. Will Carly be joining up for brunch?"

"I don't think so. She said that she'd be grabbing something to eat with some friends. I'll ask her though."

"Alright, I'll see you soon. I love you."

"Love you too. Bye." She clicked the end button and walked back in. She was just in time for the class to restart.

* * *

She took up her position next to Natalie again and watched as Carly and the boy, whom she later learned was named Tyler, followed the steps that the teachers demoed . Occasionally they would stumble, but Carly would adopt a face of angry determination, and they would try again. When class ended, Carly and the rest of the girls exited through a door at the right, while the boys filed out through a door at the left. Five minutes later, the teens entered the lobby.

Kate saw Carly, now dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, walking arms linked with two other girls. They made their way towards the parents and Kate saw that, yes, Carly was actually capable of looking happy and not angry all the time. They stopped and Carly didn't notice Kate. One of the girls started talking to Natalie, so that must've been Ruby Forrester, and the other broke away from the human link to talk to a suburban looking woman. Carly hovered in between the two of them and sent a cursory look around the lobby. She spotted Kate and her mouth popped open and she stalked over. "You stayed? You were supposed to just drive away, like normal people do," she hissed.

"Those parents didn't just drive away." Kate gestured to the mass of parents milling about.

"That's because they're actually parents!" Kate felt like she had been punched in the gut.

She asked, "Do you want to join me and Rick for breakfast?"

"No. I already have plans with my friends." She gestured over her shoulder at the two girls.

Kate sighed mentally and said, "Alright. I'll see you at the loft. Bye Carly."

"Yeah, bye." Carly returned to her friends and the walked out the front door, with Carly sending a glare over her shoulder at Kate. The doors slammed shut behind them.

* * *

**YAY! It's got lots of conversation so YAY! My mind is like mush right now AOKFHAJBCDADCADLFHOWIBVJ, can't you tell? Anyway, I'd be much obliged it you'd review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**New chapter! And I _still_ don't own Castle. I'm very sad.**

* * *

Kate had a game plan. She and Rick had sat at a booth in Luciana's for hours and discussed how they were to handle Carly. Really, it hadn't been much of a discussion as Kate spouting ideas and Rick occasionally giving his two cents on what he thought would be effective. The first thing on her game plan was to have Carly sit down with them for a real dinner. The first night Carly was with them, they had ordered a pizza and Carly had taken a slice and retreated, never to be seen again. This time, she would have no choice in the matter.

At ten past two, the door to the loft creaked open and Kate looked up from the TV. Carly entered, sporting a carefree smile and a sparkle in her eye, both of which disappeared almost immediately upon her realizing that Kate was in the room.

"Hi Carly."

"Hey."

"Why don't you join me? I was just watching Temptation Lane, but I can change it if you'd like."

Carly's eyes lit up and she asked, somewhat hopefully, "Temptation Lane?"

Kate answered, "Yeah. Are you a fan?"

Carly hesitated and wiped her face clear of all emotion. She responded in a neutral voice, "I sometimes watch it. …Actually, I think I have a book report I need to finish. Thanks though."

She turned to walk up the stairs, but Kate called out, "Do you have any preferences for dinner tonight? We could order in, or I could make something that you'd like." Carly turned around slowly and looked as though she was sizing Kate up.

She spoke carefully and in a measured tone, "What are you doing?"

"I'm asking what you'd like for dinner. I thought that I made that pretty clear." Carly rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated breath.

She said, "No duh." She opened her mouth to say something else, but then snapped it shut. She took a breath and composed herself. She asked, "When is dinner?"

"Not sure. I'll call you down when it's ready."

"Fine." Carly turned back to the stairs and ran up them. A door slammed. Kate sighed and turned back to the TV. She was going to figure Carly out if it killed her.

* * *

Carly was an excellent liar. It was just a simple fact, something that she knew when she woke up in the mornings and when she went to bed at night. It was just something she had grown accustomed to doing. Like when she told Kate that she had a book report she had to finish. It was a blatant lie, if it was told to someone that knew anything about her, but she supposed that that was what made her so good at it. She knew what to tell certain people and what to tell other people.

If she had told that lie to Ruby, she would've gotten a teasing, "Caroline Johanna Hayes, you are such a fucking liar. You and I both know you finish your homework the day you get it." But, if she told it to a total stranger (coughKatecough), they would have no idea that it was a lie.

Carly lay on the bed in the room she had been given and thought some more on this topic. She constructed other lies that may come in handy while she was with the Castles. Usually, she didn't need to think out her stories beforehand, but she had the feeling that these people were just a little more perceptive than other families she had stayed with. Carly was interrupted when there was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?"

Kate poked her head in. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. We're having spaghetti."

"Kay." The door closed. Carly dragged herself into a sitting position and tried to rub the wrinkles out of her shirt. She stopped when she realized what she was doing. Was she really trying to clean herself up for these people? She sighed. A day with them, and she was already turning into some freak. Halfway to the door, she glanced in the full length mirror hanging on the wall and saw that her hair was a complete mess. She went to grab a hairband, but when she couldn't find one, swore like a sailor.

So, instead, she dragged her duffel bag out from the closet and carefully unpacked, swearing to herself that she'd pack it all back up before she went to bed. And then, she came to the realization that Mrs. Green had 'borrowed' her hair brush the weekend before. She face-palmed.

And then she spied a rubber band. She figured it couldn't be any worse than the time she had to literally tie her hair in a knot to keep it up off her face. Once her hair was up, she steeled her nerves, and walked out into the hallway. It was clear, so Carly, never one to hate on a good hardwood floor, ran back into the room and grabbed a pair of old, ratty socks. She slid her feet in and peeked back into the hallway to check and make sure that there was still no one there. The coast was clear.

She walked backwards and got a running start. She spread her arms and slid. And for a second, she felt like she was flying. Like she was free. She threw her head back and laughed and promptly slapped her hands over her mouth. She decided that it hadn't been 'a few minutes' yet, and that she could stand to slide again. And again. Finally, after she had slid up and down the hallway three or four times, she yanked her socks off and tossed them into the room.

When she walked downstairs, dinner was being put on the table. And being the courteous girl that her father had raised, she asked, "Can I help with anything?" Rick's eyebrows shot up into his hairline and Kate stopped what she was doing and turned to her. The shock and surprise was written all over her face.

She said, "Sure…can you bring the salad to the table?" Carly nodded and walked into the kitchen.

* * *

When dinner was on the table and everyone was seated, the reality of the situation set in. She wanted to scream. Correction: She wanted to run away screaming. She was not the type of girl that ate a 'family dinner' at a table with a family. No, she ate pizza walking to dance class, or a hot dog on the subway to rehearsals. She didn't want to be there. She bit her tongue to keep from voicing these opinions and steeled herself for what was most likely to be the most excruciating night of her life.

* * *

**A little peek into Carly's mind. I thought that it was time for another one. Anyway, I'd love to hear what you thought about the chapter, so please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

****

New chapter! I'm running on sugar and caffiene and lack of sleep, but I think I wrote this pretty well! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Nor am I able to rent it for my birthday. Sadness has set upon me.

* * *

Oddly enough, halfway through dinner, Carly wasn't about to jump out the window. Nor was she about to stab herself with a fork or strangle herself with a spaghetti noodle or commit any harm against herself with the utensils present at the table. She was actually, maybe, kind of enjoying herself. Not that she liked the people or anything. But she had to admit, Rick was rather funny and Kate was somewhat personable.

She stabbed a meatball with anger at the fact that her own mind was a traitor to her. But, even she had to give them credit. They were both making an effort to keep her in the conversation, even when she just shrugged her shoulders or gave an icy response. She had to admire their guts.

She was drawn back out of her thoughts when Rick asked, "Do you like laser tag?"

Raising an eyebrow at him, she asked, "Excuse me?"

"Laser tag, do you like it?"

Carly struggled to find an answer. Finally she said, "Sure? I've never played it before."

"Interesting…" Carly shifted in her seat. Stabbed another meatball.

Kate asked, "So, Carly, what time do you need to get to school tomorrow?"

Carly looked up from her attack on her meal. "Oh, um…tomorrow's Monday…I need to be at school by seven forty-five. I was planning on taking the subway though…"

"It might be faster if I just drive you. I have to go that way anyway."

"Faster like today?"

Kate smirked and answered, "No, actually faster." Carly fell silent for a while, trying to figure out how long she would be confined in a car with Kate.

She finally said, "Sure. That sounds fine."

Kate asked, "So, are there any other activities that no one put down on your schedule?"

"I have an art class on Tuesdays."

"Alright, I'll be sure to make a note of it." A few minutes later, the conversation died.

…Carly glanced at the window.

* * *

Nearly three hours later, the table was cleared, the dishes were loaded into the dishwasher, and Carly was reeling over how much she actually enjoyed herself. She flopped backwards and let out a rush of air as her head hit the pillow.

She had to go back to school the next day and face her principal doing another 'Meet and Greet Carly's New Fosters'. As much as she loved Ms. Cherie, she hated that whenever she moved, she had to meet whomever she was staying with. Something about 'keeping them in the loop'.

Carly flipped over onto her stomach and groaned into a pillow. This family was not following the "Carly J. Hayes Approved Foster Family Chart". They just…didn't adhere to her timelines. And her timelines and charts were followed by every family, whether they knew it or not. It was simple to follow, really. They take her in, play nicey-nice for a few days, realize they hate her guts and wish she was never born, tough it out for a couple of weeks, and then dump her on the next family. It was simple, it was calculated, it was clinical. It made moving so much easier and made it even easier for Carly to figure out how long each family would last.

Carly was dragged out of her mind when there was a knock at the door.

"Yeah?"

Kate poked her head in. "Hey, I was just wondering if you wanted to go out to get ice cream or something."

Carly said, "You know, I think I'm just going to go to sleep. I have a test tomorrow."

Kate nodded and said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." The door closed with _snick_. Carly glanced around herself and sighed. Her stuff was still strewn about the room. Well, she could always deal with it in the morning. She slid off the bed and grabbed a set of pajamas that had been with her through thick and thin. Curling up under the covers, Carly fell asleep in seconds.

* * *

"_CAROLINE!" _

_"Daddy. Daddy please!" _

_"Shut up. Shut. Up." _

_"Please Daddy, please don't do this." _

_Bang._

_

* * *

_

Carly's eyes shot open, her heart in her throat. She was shaking. She placed a hand to her face and felt the wetness that told her that she'd been crying. Taking a few deep breaths, she glanced at the clock. It read 4:22. Great, she thought. Just great. She laid in bed for a few moments longer, trying to calm her shaking hands and even out her breathing.

Finally, she pushed the covers back and slid out of bed. It took her several minutes to find her jacket, but when she did, she slipped out of the room silently. The key was where she had put it, back in the cookie jar. The front door swung open with a slight creak. Carly froze, afraid that she had woken someone up. When there was no sign of movement, she walked out to the elevator. When she got to the lobby, she saw the night watchman and waved. She'd probably want to learn his name; it may come in handy later.

The air was chillier than the first night and Carly realized a few minutes too late that she probably should have gotten dressed instead of just throwing on a jacket over her pajamas. She slid a cigarette out quickly and lit it even faster, managing to burn her thumb in the process.

"Shit."

She almost dropped her cigarette, but, thank God, didn't. She brought the cigarette to her lips and inhaled. Held the smoke in. Exhaled. Inhaled. Exhaled. She glanced up and started to name the constellations. Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Orion's Belt. Andromeda, Seven Sisters… Inhaled. Exhaled. When the cigarette was all burned out, she snuffed it out with her boot. The normality of the movement soothed her.

When she walked back into the lobby, she glanced at the clock. 4:49. She pulled open her jacket and checked the inside pocket. Coming up with a ten dollar bill, she smiled. She rode the elevator back up to the loft and changed quickly.

Once she was dressed properly (meaning jeans and several top layers), she went back down and walked out into the street. She could see the glowing sign of Starbucks in the distance. She crossed the street and turned left; mentally calculating what route would be fastest. She arrived at the front door of the thankfully open Starbucks in a few minutes.

The little bell attached to the door tinkled as she walked in. The guy standing behind the counter looked up and said, "Good morning." She nodded towards him. She saw a boy around her age sitting in a corner, skimming the newspaper. She ordered her coffee, and while she waited, she studied the boy. He was cute, a little clean cut, but cute.

She snapped out of it when the barista handed her drink over. She thanked him and settled into an armchair near the back. She checked her watch. 5:12. She had time.

* * *

Kate woke up to her alarm screaming. She groggily reached a hand out and hit the snooze button twice; once to shut it up, and the second because she felt that it was far too early. Rick didn't stir. She figured she'd let him sleep in a little. When she walked downstairs, she was greeted by complete silence. She figured that Carly was still sleeping. Maybe she wasn't always an early bird. Kate busied herself with making breakfast.

At about a quarter till six, Rick appeared at the top of the stairs. He walked into the kitchen and sniffed. "Eggs, sausage, and…hmm…waffles?"

"Correct. Give the man a prize."

He grabbed a fork and stole a sausage from the pan. "No need. I shall enjoy this piping hot maple sausage by way of prize." He chewed thoughtfully and after he swallowed, he asked, "Carly still sleeping?"

"Yeah. I was planning to go wake her up soon." Just as soon as she finished her sentence, a thud was heard from the corridor. Both of the Castles turned their heads to face the door. Suddenly, it sounded like someone was trying to open the door. Rick moved towards to closet and grabbed a baseball bat from it while Kate suddenly wished that she was wearing her gun. Rick turned to her and motioned for her to stay back. For once, she did as she was told. The door swung open just as Rick reached it. Rick raised his baseball bat and yelled, "HAH!"

Carly screamed. Rick screamed and dropped the bat. Kate screamed. The neighbor, Mr. Morelli, opened his door and screamed, "KEEP THAT RACKET DOWN!" Mr. Morelli waved his fist at them and slammed his door shut.

Carly placed a hand to her chest and asked, "What the hell are you doing? You could've brained me! Ho, my God." Kate's eyes widened.

She asked, "You were out?" while Rick said, "I wouldn't have brained you…" Carly looked at him like he was crazy and then turned her attention to Kate.

She answered, "Yes. I was down at Starbucks." Kate was a little shocked at the fact that Carly saw nothing wrong with leaving the house in the early hours and not telling anyone.

Kate questioned, "And you didn't think to tell one of us where you were going or asked one of us to go with you?"

Carly dropped her hand from her chest and crossed her arms. She said, "No, I didn't. Why should I?"

"Well, one reason that could compel you is the fact that Rick might have brained you. A second would be, what if something happened to you?"

"Then something would have happened to me."

Rick interjected, "I wouldn't have brained her!"

"Carly, that was not acceptable."

"I don't really care."

"Well, I do. You could have been killed and we would have been none the wiser. Don't ever do that again." Kate's voice began rising with each word, mostly out of the fear of what could have happened. Rick closed the door, because Mr. Morelli would've thrown something if he didn't.

Carly said, "I'll do it if I want to. You're not the boss of me." Kate almost laughed. Carly had gone from angry teenager to petulant five year old is three seconds.

Kate said, "Yes, I am the boss of you. I'm…I'm your mother."

Carly froze. She said slowly, "You. Are. Not. My mother." With that as her closing statement, she turned and stormed up the stairs.

* * *

**I think that's the most that Carly's ever said. So, it was my first confrontation between Carly and Kate and I hope I wrote it realistically. I'd love to hear what you think, so review please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**This one switches between Carly and Kate a lot, but I'm happy with it. Disclaimer: I _still_ don't own Castle. **

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Carly hadn't reappeared. Not that Kate expected that. But Carly needed to get to school, and she'd be damned if she didn't feed that child before sending her off to school. So, she swallowed her pride and ascended the stairs. From the hall, she could hear movement from inside Carly's room. She knocked. There was silence for a minute and then the door swung open. Carly glared up at her.

"Yes?"

"Why don't you come down to eat some breakfast before we leave."

"I'm not hungry."

Kate crossed her arms and said, "You haven't eaten since last night. You've got to be hungry."

"I'll eat something at school."

She made to close the door, but Kate pushed it back open. She told her, "You're going to go downstairs and you're going to eat something."

"Why?"

"Because you're a person and people need food."

Carly seemed to realize that Kate wasn't backing down anytime soon, so she said, "I'll be down in a few minutes." Kate nodded and walked back down the stairs. Baby steps, she thought. Baby steps.

* * *

There were no tears, no revelations about her inner being. There was just rage. Blind, white hot rage. And Carly was sick of it. Her early morning was catching up with her and all she really wanted to do was sleep for a few years. But she couldn't even sit still or bring herself to address her stuff that still was strewn about the room. And Kate was going to drive her to school. Kate was going to drive her to school where she would have to help Margie and Nina and Jean in the administrative office with filing and pretend like she hadn't almost been brained by a maniac writer with a bat and, oh God, Kate would have to meet her principal who would most likely drag out her transcripts and report cards and 'fill in' Kate about Carly's academic life. Cue the hyperventilation.

She got up from where she had plopped down on the floor and opened the door. She noticed the enticing smell of sausage and eggs and, oh dear God, was that maple syrup? And if there was maple syrup, there must be either waffles or pancakes. Her feet began moving of their own accord. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she saw the most glorious sight. On the island in the kitchen was a plate piled high with waffles.

"Oh Lord," she whispered. Her mouth watered. Her stomach rumbled when she noticed the plate with sausages and the plate with eggs. Kate spotted her and said, "I suggest just making a plate to eat in the car." Carly nodded reverently. Anyone that could cook like that, she thought, couldn't be _that_ bad. She mentally slapped herself. Snap out of it, she told herself. The food is making you lose it.

Carly walked towards the kitchen carefully, slightly afraid that if she got too close the food would just disappear. But it didn't.

Kate handed her a Tupperware dish and said, "Help yourself. Utensils are in the drawer to your left. Oh, and you have your choice of orange juice, milk, or water." She tossed her a to-go coffee mug.

"Thanks…"

Kate glanced at her watch. "We need to get going soon if you want to make it to school on time." Carly nodded curtly and turned back to the masterpiece of food.

* * *

Thirty minutes and one uncomfortably silent car ride later, Kate pulled into RiverView's parking lot. A few kids were milling about. Carly studied them through the window. Kate asked, "So, when do you need to be picked up?"

Carly remained silent for a while, and then responded with a question. "When do you get off work?"

"Answer my question first, please."

"Fine. Four forty-five."

"Alright. Either Rick or I will pick you up. See you then."

"Whatever." Carly was about to get out when Kate realized that she was missing one important item.

"Carly, where's your backpack?" Carly turned around and looked at her with her eyebrows raised. "Did you leave it back at th-"

Carly cut her off. "It's in my locker. Like it always is over a weekend because I don't ever know whether I'll be moved or not." She slammed the door shut. Kate let out a breath. She was about to pull out of the parking lot when she spotted an older, plumper woman jogging towards the car. She rolled the window down.

The woman said, "Hi! You must be Mrs. Castle. I'm Lily Cherie, the principal of RiverView. CPS called to tell me that Carly had been moved again, and when she's placed with a new family, I like to introduce myself and invite them in for a meeting so that I can fill them in on Carly's grades and classes and the like. Would you like to attend that meeting? Because many of the previous families have declined." Kate glanced at her car clock. She could stand to be a few minutes late.

"I'd love to. Just let me make a quick phone call."

Ms. Cherie's face lit up in surprise and she said, "Oh, sure! When you're done, just walk down that corridor and I'm the third door on the right." She waved and walked back in the direction she had come from. Kate pulled her phone out and pressed the number one speed dial.

Rick picked up quickly.

"To speak to Richard Castle, press one."

"Hey Rick. Are you planning on going down to the precinct today?"

"I was going to. Why?"

"Carly's principal wants to go over Carly's grades and classes, so I'm going to be running late. Could you tell the captain for me?"

"Sure. Have fun discussing middle school classes!"

"See you soon."

"Bye."

"Bye." She clicked the end button and slid out of her car. The kids that had been milling about had scattered, presumably because the bell had rung. Kate followed Ms. Cherie's directions and when she opened the door, she was taken aback by how colorful it was. She could've sworn that back when she was in school, principals' offices were grey and drab and dreary, not covered with bright, happy murals.

Ms. Cherie looked up from the file on her desk and said, "Oh, hi again! Please take a seat. Well, you're the first of Carly's fosters that has actually met with me to discuss Carly since the Andersons. And they left after only a few minutes. Oh, I'm just blathering on now. Let's get down to business, shall we?" She pushed the file she had been going over towards Kate.

She said, "Now in there are Carly's grades through the years. She's really a great student. She turns in her homework on time, works well with her classmates, listens to the teachers… I wish that the rest of the foster kids we have were like her. Anyway Mrs. Castle-"

"Please, call me Kate."

"Alright Kate. Basically I wanted to meet with you just to fill you in on what Carly's been doing for classes and grades and also to go over her schedule. So, as you can see, Carly's grades have been pretty consistent throughout her years with us. Now, do you have any questions so far?"

"Just one. It says on each page, all hours put in. I'm just a little confused as to what hours were needed."

"Oh, that. Well, our school requires our students to attend thirty hours of class per week. And actually, that brings up to Carly's schedule as well. Anyway, so every student puts in thirty hours of class and depending on the classes that they've chosen, can do the thirty hours in anywhere from three to five days. Some kids start school at six thirty and go till five. Others go from seven till two thirty. Carly opted for the eight to four option, which means that her thirty hours are completed in four days. Actually, she doesn't even have to be here today. The days she opted for were Tuesday through Friday. That's another thing; the students can choose their own school days."

Kate's eyes widened. "She doesn't actually have school today?"

"Oh, nope. She usually comes in to pitch in in the office with filing."

"Really…"

"Alright, now her class load is pretty full. She's signed up for four high school level classes, and AP language, and all of her required classes, plus her elective. Sometimes I wonder if that girl sleeps." Ms. Cherie continued to talk a mile a minute while Kate tried to listen. Ms. Cherie was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Ms. Cherie called out, "Come in!"

Carly poked her head in. "Ms. Cherie? Margie says she needs your pas- …Kate?"

"Hi Carly. I didn't know that you had today off." Carly blanched. Kate continued. "Why don't you join me down at the precinct when I'm done talking with Ms. Cherie." Carly paled even more, if that was even possible. She turned her attention back to Ms. Cherie.

"The password is just the master, right?" Ms. Cherie nodded. Carly scurried out of the room.

Ms. Cherie said, "Oh, that's so nice. None of Carly's other fosters have ever taken any interest in her."

Kate turned away from the door and said, "Please, continue."

* * *

**Alright, I'd like to just say ahead of time, Ms. Cherie is supposed to be a bit of an oddball. Anyway, the next chapter should be up tomorrow, but it'll be up sooner if you review...**


	9. Chapter 9

**New chapter! And since it's still technically Wednesday where I am, I'm proud of myself. Two updates in a row! Anyway, Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Carly wanted to die, just a little. Kate wasn't supposed to take Ms. Cherie up on her offer to discuss 'grades and classes and the like'. Kate wasn't supposed to find out about her free day. Carly was supposed to have one, just one!, day where she could have the freedom to do whatever the hell she wanted to. But no. Now she was stuck in a car with Kate, driving to Kate's precinct, where she would most likely be locked into a holding cell where she could not escape or smoke or basically do anything to keep herself entertained. Woo.

Kate wasn't trying to create conversation, and Carly felt that it was much too quiet. Not that she was going to say anything. Kate pulled the car into a parking stall right in front of the station. Carly went to open the door, but found that it was locked.

Kate said, "Carly, just wait a minute. The people in there…they don't know about you. And I just wanted to tell you now, that the only reason that they don't know about you is because I haven't had any time to tell them yet."

"And this is relevant how?" Kate just unlocked the doors. Carly slid out slowly and waited for Kate to go ahead of her. In her fourteen years, police stations had never been her favorite place. In fact, she had an urge to run as fast as she possibly could to the nearest train station and flee to L.A. But before she could put that plan into action, Kate was holding the door open for her. Inside the precinct, it was buzzing with activity. Volunteers scurried back and forth carrying files and coffees and ringing phones. Several frazzled looking cops were chatting with each other in the back. Kate waved and greeted several people and walked to the elevator. Carly, for once, dashed after her.

* * *

Kate glanced at the break room. Carly had stalked back there nearly twenty minutes previously and had yet to reappear. And since the boys were out investigating a lead on their case and Lanie was taking a sick day and since it was slow, Kate was reduced to doing paperwork. Rick was content playing with the apps on his phone. The bullpen was quiet.

Rick asked, "So, how was your meeting with Carly's principal?"

Kate looked up from her computer. "Oh, it was fine. Carly's got excellent grades. Better than I had in eighth grade. But apparently, she only has four days of school, Tuesday through Friday, as per her choosing." Rick opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off when Carly walked out of the break room.

Carly said, "Can you please give me _something_ to do! I'm losing my freaking mind."

Kate was struck with inspiration. "Is there somewhere you want to go?"

"Yes. It's called Anywhere But Here."

"If you tell me where you're planning on going, I'll let you go out."

Carly mocked gratitude. "Really? You'd let me go out? Oh, my! What a gift!" Kate gave her a look and she snapped her mouth shut. Carly said, "Actually, I don't know where I want to go. I just need to do _something_."

"Alright. You can go out. But be back in an hour and if you're running late or something, call me. Actually, that reminds me…" She grabbed a piece of paper off her desk and jotted down her number. She handed it to Carly and said, "Here."

Carly took it hesitantly. "You're seriously letting me go out?"

"Yep."

"Alright. See ya!" Carly dashed to the elevator, passing Ryan and Esposito who happened to be walking from the elevator.

Both did a double take and when they reached Kate and Rick, Esposito asked, "Was that just a mini-Beckett or am I seeing things?" Ryan's face was equally confused.

Kate said, "About that… That's my daughter. Carly." Twin looks of shock appeared. Kate stood up. She said, "Rick will explain everything."

Rick looked up from the case file he had been perusing and asked, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go find out where Carly's going." She walked quickly to the stairs and took them two at a time, hoping to catch up to Carly before she go to far.

* * *

The late September air bit at Carly's nose and she wished that she had dressed warmer. Her jacket was just not cutting it. She crossed the street, ignoring the cab driver that laid on the horn because he was too stupid to notice that he had a red light. She almost flipped him the finger, but decided against it. He looked like a mob type. Not to be messed with. She rounded the corner of Sixteenth Street and spotted one of her favorite places. When she walked in, the women of Jennie's Hair and Nails looked up from their magazines and soap operas. They all called out a greeting and the owner, Nicholas Thatcher, a tall, thin man, came out of the back room.

"Carly! How's my favorite girl doing?"

He pulled her into a hug and she responded, "I'm doing good, Nick. I know it's been a while."

"A while? Honey, your roots are nearly two inches. So, what'll it be this time? A touch up or a color?"

"What new colors do you have?" "We got Sunset Red, Honey Blonde, Violent Violet, Bubbly Blue, and Grasshopper Green."

"I'm not in the mood for blonde or red head. …Maybe just a shade lighter than what I already have and some colored extensions?"

Nick (who knew her a little too well) said, "You got moved again, didn't you? Who'd you get stuck with this time, kiddo?"

"My birth-mom and her husband."

One of the manicurists, a woman named Stevie, said, "Oh, Carly, honey. I think that calls for a pedicure. And a manicure. And a facial."

Carly laughed and said, "Stevie, I only have an hour."

Nick cried, "Well then what are we waiting for? Come on ladies, let's move!"

{/\}

Carly sat, watching an old episode of Temptation Lane on the TV in the corner, waiting for Nick to come out and rinse the dye out of her hair and clip in her extensions. Stevie was working on her nails, trying to give her a 'London Glam' look, as she put it. Nick finally walked out, carrying a bag of extensions.

He asked, "What color shall the princess choose? Maybe a calm blue? Or a shocking bright green? Maybe I could interest you in a feminine pink?"

"No to the pink, yes to the green and instead of blue, can I get purple?"

"Of course. Now hold still."

{/\}

Ten minutes later, Carly was relaxed and happy with her lighter hair and colored streaks. She hugged Nick and Stevie and everyone else and said her goodbyes and walked to the nearest pay phone. She dug three quarters out of her pocket and dialed the number that Kate gave her. It rang and rang and rang some more until finally it went to voicemail.

"Hey Kate, it's me. I'm just running about twenty minutes late. Bye." She hung the phone back in its cradle and proceeded to walk down to the closest park, which incidentally, wasn't Central Park. It was a small park that didn't have a name that Carly knew, but it didn't have a No Smoking Policy. So Carly chose a bench that looked out at the rest of the park. There were a few people wandering the ground, but it was rather peacefully, if you managed to ignore the sounds of traffic and vendors and generally loud citizens.

She reached a hand into her pocket, but came up empty.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit." She remembered that she had taken her lighter and cigarettes out and stuffed them at the bottom of her bag. She got up from her bench, because without smoking, there was really no reason for her to be at that park. It took her about ten minutes to get back to the precinct. The elevator was empty.

She should have known, that with her luck, she would, of course, get stuck in an elevator when she was alone. But no, she was still coming off the happy high she had gotten from Jennie's so she was not expecting it when the elevator jerked to a stop and shuddered. There was a bang and then it felt like it dropped a little. The lights flickered, once, twice, and then went out completely.

She stood in the silence for a second and then yelled, "HELLO? HELLLLOOOOOOO?"

She heard a muffled, "Carly?"

"Who is that?"

"It's Rick. Are you okay?"

Carly was too scared to be rude or sarcastic. She answered, "I'm okay for now, but I think the elevator broke down."

"Yeah, it does that sometimes. A maintenance team is on there way, but it might be a while."

"Exactly how long is 'a while'?"

"About as long as a Harry Potter movie."

"Crap." It fell silent again. Carly began feeling like the darkness was suffocating her. For some reason, she and dark, small spaces just did not mix.

And then, someone asked, "Carly? Are you okay?"

"Kate?" "Yes, it's Kate. Are you alright?"

"I'm okay."

"Okay, just stay calm, maintenance is working on it."

Carly called up, "Alright. Just tell them to work quick. I'm not sure how much I like being trapped in this elevator."

* * *

Kate felt a gnawing worry in her gut. She knew exactly what it felt like to be trapped in that elevator, and it was not fun. At least she had had her phone to keep her entertained for the five and a half hours she spent in there.

The bull pen had pretty much emptied, so she was one of the few, including Rick and Ryan and Esposito, left. She was pacing up and down in front of the elevator when the doors slid open, revealing a mostly empty elevator shaft. There was just a little of the actual elevator car showing and the doors to the car were open as well. There was about six inches that could be seen of the inside of the car. She could see Carly pacing around in circles. Carly noticed the new light source and blinked up at Kate. Kate let out a sigh of relief. At least she could at least see that she was alright.

She asked, "Carly, do you need anything? Water? If you're hungry, I think there's some food in the break room."

Carly sounded very young and scared when she asked, "Could I get something to read?"

Kate looked around. She said, "I'd say yes, but I don't think there are anythi-"

She was cut off by Ryan yelling, "I've got a newspaper!"

Esposito emerged from the break room and said, "I found an old People."

Carly asked, "Who are they?"

Kate took the reading material and pushed it through the opening. She answered, "That's Detective Javier Esposito and that's Detective Kevin Ryan." Esposito waved and Ryan smiled.

Carly called up, "Thanks!"

Esposito said, "No problem."

And then, they settled in for the long wait.

* * *

**Lot's of dialogue. I'm happy. And the Jennie's staff will come into play later, I swear. But anyway, I'm happy with this chapter, but are you? Send my your thoughts in a review and I'll love you forever!**


	10. Chapter 10

**New chapter! I'm sorry I didn't update yesterday, but I had a doctor's appointment, and then there was school, and then this whole big drama with my friend. But, you don't want to hear about my problems, you want to hear about Carly's. :P Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Nor shall I ever. This is a fact that I have just now accepted, so MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Nearly five hours later and maintenance was still no closer to fixing the elevator. Carly had read the newspaper and the magazine several times through and was starting to want to just curl up in the fetal position. Usually, she could handle dark, enclosed spaces for a few minutes, but five hours? Someone hand her a shotgun. Rick had gone out on a food run, something prompted by the growling of Carly's stomach that echoed throughout the elevator shaft. The two men that Kate had introduced as Detective Esposito and Detective Ryan had left again, following a lead on their case. The floor was virtually empty, save for Kate, a few maintenance guys that wandered through, and the occasional person picking up paperwork. Kate tried to keep the mood light.

She joked, "So I guess that means you won't be visiting the precinct again anytime soon, huh?" Carly opened her mouth to answer, but the elevator jerked, so instead of words, she emitted a shrill shriek. "Are you okay?" Kate could see Carly nod her head slowly through the six inches of the elevator car that were visible. Carly backed up to the corner and slid down to the floor. She pressed her hands to her face and closed her eyes, her mouth beginning to move in a silent prayer before she realized what she was doing and abruptly stopped.

Kate said, "I'm going to go see what's taking maintenance so long. Will you be okay alone for a few minutes?"

Carly had several, and I mean several, responses that would satisfy the little devil on her shoulder, but was still shaken from the recent elevator shudder, so she responded quietly, "I think so."

"I'll only be a couple of minutes." She heard the steady _click-click-click_s of Kate's footsteps going away in another direction.

A few moments passed, and then she heard, "THAT'S MY KID IN THERE, SO YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASSES IN GEAR AND FIX THE DAMN ELEVATOR." Kate obviously thought that her yelling wouldn't reverberate throughout the elevator shaft. Carly smirked. A few minutes later, Kate walked back and sat down on the ground.

She said, "It should only be a few more hours."

Carly opened her eyes and said, "Well, a few hours is better than a few days."

"Don't worry. If it lasted more than twenty hours, we'd whip out a chain saw and just cut you out."

"That idea is looking pretty good right now." They fell silent.

Kate asked, "You're claustrophobic, aren't you?"

Carly craned her neck to be able to look Kate in the eye and raised an eyebrow. She responded, "I don't like labels."

"But if you did?"

"If I did like labels, then yes. I am claustrophobic. As well as astrapophobic, coulrophobic, and autophobic. According to my psychiatrist, that is."

"Well, they certainly love their phobias."

"Tell me about it."

Carly mentally slapped herself a few times. She wouldn't narc out the weird kid in the back of her science class under the threat of expulsion, but stick her in an enclosed space for a few hours and she sings like a canary.

* * *

Rick's voice floated up the stairs. "I've arrived bearing gifts of foodstuffs." Carly's head perked up. Rick joined Kate on the floor and started handing out lunches.

"Double cheeseburger, cheddar cheese, with extra pickles?"

Carly said, "That'd be mi-EEEEEEEEEE!" The elevator car started shaking in the middle of Carly's sentence. Kate saw Carly draw her legs up to her chest and bury her head into her knees. The elevator stopped shuddering, but Carly kept her head tucked down.

Kate tried to comfort her. "Carly, don't worry about the elevator. Just about everyone in the precinct has been trapped in that elevator at some point, and it's never, ever fallen." Carly groaned and mumbled something incomprehensible, but uncurled from the corner.

Rick handed Carly her food and said, "Once the elevator stopped on me while I was cursed."

Kate corrected him, "While you _thought_ you were cursed."

"That mummy was fuh-reaky. Anyway, the elevator stopped, and the lights went out, the whole deal. And my day had been becoming increasingly worse. It started with a papercut, and then my chair broke, thanks to your mother. And-and!-she had a team from the explosives department rig the cappuccino machine to explode at me. Do you _know_ how scary it is to have a cappuccino machine explode at you? Very scary, I tell you. Very scary. So, of course, when the elevator stopped, I figured I was marked for death. But I remembered something I read somewhere about if you're ever stuck in an elevator you either get flat on the floor or jump up at the last second, and I figured that my first instinct is always right-"

Kate interjected, "Suuuurrrreee…"

"It usually is! But this time, I second guessed myself and jumped to the ground, spread out as flat as I could-"

"And promptly looked like a fool."

"I almost always look like a fool, Katie. It's just a fact of life. But after I jumped down and lay flat, the doors immediately slid open. And standing outside those doors was just about the entire precinct, plus the maintenance, plus whoever just happened to be passing through."

Carly burst out laughing and was joined by Kate, both of whom were being given a somewhat indignant look from Rick, who said, "I thought that that was the logical thing to do!" When their laughter subsided, it fell silent.

Finally, Carly asked, "Is the precinct usually this empty?" Kate and Rick exchanged a glance, remembering all the times the precinct wouldn't stop buzzing with activity.

Kate answered, "Not usually, but we've had a slow month in general." Carly nodded.

* * *

Right around when they finished eating, people started returning to the precinct. People would occasionally stop by and offer their support (apparently, the elevator really _had_ trapped just about everyone at some point in time), but most people just went about their work. Rick and Kate tried to keep things light, Rick with his somewhat crazy stories and Kate with her running commentaries on said crazy stories.

Carly found herself laughing and joking around with them, as if she didn't have that niggling little voice in the back of her head telling her that they were only doing this for brownie points for when they sent her back. Because they would send her back. It was Carly's Law. Carly's Law was similar to Murphy's Law, but pertaining only to what CPS referred to as 'unplacables'. Carly's Law states that 'If someone has been sent back before, they will again.' And again. And again.

* * *

Two more hours later and Kate thought she was about to explode. The precinct was still mostly empty, and it was bordering on seven hours that Carly had been trapped. Every once in a while, the elevator would shudder and cause Carly to retreat to the far corner of the elevator car and curl into herself. Rick would try and get her mind off of things by sharing stories of their partnership over the years, but Carly still looked like she was slowly dying.

Rick went to see what was taking maintenance so long and Kate asked Carly, "Can I ask you a question?"

"I'd say no, but I don't have the energy to."

"When did you enter RiverView?"

Carly opened her eyes and looked thoughtful for a minute. She answered, "Um, wow. Haven't had to think about that for a while. …About six years ago."

"You would've been in, what, second grade?"

"Just about." Kate nodded.

Carly asked, "Can I ask _you_ a question?"

"Sure."

"Why are you a cop?"

"…Because I want to put the bad guys away and I want to make sure the victims get justice." Carly nodded. Rick came jogging back.

He said excitedly, "Maintenance just figured out what's wrong, so it should be fixed in a couple of minutes." And sure enough, a few minutes later, the lights flickered back on and the elevator doors slid shut. A second later, they reopened to reveal not an empty elevator shaft, but the actual elevator and one very pale, very shaken looking Carly.

Carly stepped out of the elevator and said, "I think I'm going to just go lie down on the couch in the break room."

* * *

**I'd just like to say, I'm sorry that this wasn't up by yesterday, but I've already written part of the next chapter, so that'll definitely be up by tomorrow evening, at the latest. Hmmm...There was something else I was meaning to say...Oh yeah! Review! **


	11. Chapter 11

**New chapter! And I just barely made my cut off, 12 am, and it's, like, 11:54. WOOT! I MADE IT! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

An hour later, Kate assumed Carly was sleeping. And when she went to investigate, she found that she was correct. Carly was curled up on the break room couch, her face the epitome of serenity. Kate tiptoed out, determined to let her sleep just a little longer. But, as it seems, that was not Carly's plan.

Before she made it out of the break room completely, she heard Carly say, "You don't have to tiptoe around. I'm awake." Kate turned around and saw that Carly was actually awake and slowly pulling herself into an upright position.

Kate asked, "You feeling any better?"

"My head is pounding, my legs are sore, my butt is still numb, and I think that I may have been bitten by a radioactive spider, but I'm not in that elevator anymore. So, yeah. I am feeling better." She smiled a tiny and exhausted smile and ran a hand through her now tangled hair.

Kate told her, "Rick had to run to a meeting with his agent, and since I don't have a case, I was planning on packing up soon." Carly nodded.

* * *

The car ride back to the loft was silent. When Kate would attempt to initiate conversation, Carly would shrug it off. It seemed that when she was petrified with fear, she was pleasant as anything. Not that Kate wanted a repeat of the elevator incident. When they arrived back at the apartment building, Carly dashed ahead of her and, after looking at the elevator suspiciously, turned to the stairs.

Kate, who was just barely catching up to her, asked, "You're really going to walk up twenty-one flights of stairs?"

Carly stared at the elevator and said, "I'd rather not get trapped twice in one day."

"This elevator is a lot newer than the one in the precinct. There's nothing to worry about."

Carly, after staring the elevator down a few more seconds, said, "You know, I think I'll let you deal with the elevator and I'll deal with the stairs."

"Alright… Be careful. Those stairs are steep."

"I think I can handle it." Carly began her ascent, and Kate just shook her head and waited for the elevator to arrive.

Nearly ten minutes later, Kate stood in the hall, waiting for Carly to appear at the top of the stairs. When she finally did appear, she was flushed and gasping for breath. She gasped out, "Those are a _lot_ of stairs."

* * *

Carly really, really hated being wrong. She was wrong about Kate and Rick sticking to her charts and timelines. She was wrong about them in general, as far as she knew, anyway. And she was wrong about the damn stairs. She pushed a pillow over her face, hoping in vain that maybe, just maybe, she'd stop breathing.

But no, her lungs kept inflating and deflating and her heart kept beating traitorously. She groaned. Finally, she sat up and let the pillow fall into her lap. She looked around, taking note of the things that needed to be repacked. Her photo album took top priority, her clothes taking second. After sitting and staring for a moment, she got up and began to clean up. Ten minutes later, her duffel bag was neatly repacked and she was ready to leave at a moment's notice, which was just how she liked it.

* * *

Dinner that night was quiet, with Carly being more reclusive than she had been. Both Rick and Kate attempted to draw her into the conversation, but she refused with cold stares and heavy sighs. At the end, when the table was cleared, Carly retreated to her room.

When Kate went to check on her, her knocking went unanswered. She cracked the door open and was surprised to see Carly curled up on her bed, dead asleep. Kate glance at the wall and was even more surprised to see that it was only eight o'clock in the evening. Kate stepped into the room and pulled a blanket up over Carly, as she couldn't pull the covers up without disturbing her. Carly shifted slightly and her nose scrunched up comically. Kate whispered, "Good night, Carly," and back out swiftly.

* * *

When Carly woke up, she was stiff and wearing the same clothes as she had the day before. The sun wasn't up yet, and as far as she knew, everyone was still asleep. Someone had pulled a blanket up over her and turned the lights out. Her clock read ten minutes after four, and she figured it was a good a time as any to get up. She slid out of bed and winced at the pain that exploded in her back when she stretched. After gathering her things, she stepped out into the hallway silently and made her way to the bathroom.

After setting the water temperature, which took a good ten minutes (who knew a damn shower could be so fucking confusing), she let the hot water loosen the muscles in her back and shoulders. Unfortunately, it did nothing for her headache. She shivered when she stepped back out onto the cold bathroom tiles.

After she had dressed, she went about her daily morning routine; brushing her teeth, combing through her hair and trying to make it do something nice for once. She gathered up her things and returned to her room. Debating whether the potential consequences were worth it, she stared at her lighter and pack of L&M Silver Labels.

Finally, she scooped them up and slipped down the stairs. She had forgotten to put the extra key back, so it was sitting in the pocket of her jacket, so she didn't worry to look for it. When she made it downstairs, she wasn't alone. The boy she had seen a the Starbucks the day before was sitting on the curb, smoking his own cigarette. She plopped down next to him and lit up without bothering to look at him except out of the corner of her eye.

He glanced at her and asked, "Aren't you a little young to smoke?"

She shot back, "Aren't you?"

The smoked in silence and then he said, "What're you smoking?"

"L&M Silvers. You?"

"Marlboro Reds. …I'm Mason. What do they call you?"

"What do you want to call me?"

"My date."

"Oooh, slick little city boy, are we? What makes you think I want to be your date?"

"You're sitting here aren't you?" By this time, both Carly and Mason had finished their cigarettes and as Carly stood, she snuffed hers out with her toe.

She turned to go inside and called over her shoulder, "I'm Carly."

"Can I call you?"

"You tell me."

"I'm here around the same time every morning."

"I'll be sure to make a note of it."

Carly turned and walked into the warmth of the lobby, leaving Mason to smoke alone.

* * *

**Mason is a little slick, if you ask me. I don't like him. ...Wait, my mom just informed me that I have to like him on some level because I'm writing him. Eh, she's an accountant, what does she know? Anyway, I'll love you if you review, but I won't hate you if you don't. I'll just love you less. ...Just to warn you, bad things tend to happen to people I love less. ...So review. Like, now. :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**New chapter! And, I'd like to apologize for the language in the last chapter. There won't be any more of that...probably. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Later that day, Kate was playing Solitaire on her computer when Esposito and Ryan came running from the break room.

"We got a body."

Rick's head popped up from his phone and his face lit up with excitement. "Yes! A new murder for the incredible Super Five to solve!"

Kate stopped gathering her things long enough to raise an eyebrow and ask, "Super Five?"

"Well, there's you, me, Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie, so that's the five. And we're…super?" Kate rolled her eyes and turned to go for the elevator.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up to a warehouse. It was already swarming with uniforms who were busy canvassing the area. When they entered the warehouse, Lanie looked up from where she was surveying the body.

Kate asked, "What've we got?"

Lanie pushed herself up off her knees and said, "Early adolescent, thirteen to fifteen at the oldest. Blonde hair, dyed, brunette originally."

Kate gave her a questioning look and she explained, "You can see her roots coming through. Cause of death is blunt force head trauma. Uniforms have the suspected weapon already. Blood congelation suggests she's only been dead for under six hours, giving us a window of about three in the morning to just an hour ago."

Esposito and Ryan moved off to interview the guard that had discovered the body and Kate asked, "Anything else?"

"Uniforms found her purse a few yards away. It wasn't a robbery and from what I can tell, she wasn't raped."

"So that means that killer probably knew the victim."

"Here's another thing, we have her school ID, but there's no picture on it to match with the victim."

"That doesn't seem normal."

"It's because it's not. Someone scratched her photo off."

"Hm. What's the name on the ID?"

"Elena Daniels. She attends RiverView Academy, eighth grade."

Kate tensed but swiftly regained her composure. "Does it have her parents listed?"

"No, but it has a number for the school."

"Alright," she turned to Esposito and Ryan who were just rejoining them, "Have uniforms check out the surrounding area. She may've been crossing through here on her way to school, so her backpack should be somewhere around here. Maybe it'll clue us in."

As they walked away, Lanie said, "Castle, can I have a few minutes alone with Kate?" Rick nodded and moved to talk to Ryan while Esposito went to deliver Kate's message to the uniforms.

Lanie walked closer to Kate and said, "Girl, you better have a pretty damn creative excuse for not telling me you had a kid. I mean, I'm trying to keep lunch down when Javier calls me to inform me about your little announcement? I as your best friend at least deserve to be told first."

Kate smirked and said, "I would've told you first, but you were out."

"Well, now I need details." They began walking back towards where the Morgue Mobile and Kate's car were parked and Kate filled Lanie in on all the details.

When she was finished, Lanie asked in disbelief, "So she's a schizo when she's around you, but she's the perfect student? And where did she get ballroom dancing skills from? I mean, you know I love you, but you can barely waltz."

Kate opened her mouth to protest, but thought better of it, knowing that Lanie was right. So instead, she responded, "I truly don't know. Oh, they're calling you, Lanie. And you know how Eddie gets when you make him wait."

"Oh, he just needs to hush up. He drives dead bodies around all day."

Lanie began walking towards the Morgue Mobile muttering, "Thinks he's gonna tell me to hurry up, he's a Morgue Mobile driver."

Kate smiled and slid into her car. "You tell Lanie about Carly?' She jumped in her seat when Rick spoke from the backseat. She turned around and saw him handcuffed to the door.

She raised an eyebrow and he said, "Esposito got tired of me following him around, so he handcuffed me. Isn't that an abuse of power?"

"Yes, it is."

"…So are you going to let me loose?"

"No, I won't." She turned the car on to drown out his protests.

* * *

Back at the precinct, Kate set up the murder board while the guys called the school to confirm the victim's identity.

When she began writing in the details of the murder, Ryan said, "We got an ID." He and Esposito walked over and he continued, "Our vic is Elena Madison Daniels, age fourteen. Her parents are Scott Daniels and Annika Daniels. They live in an apartment in Brooklyn."

* * *

"My Elena…is dead?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm so sorry for your loss." Kate paused to allow Annika Daniels to collapse for a moment.

When she regained some composure, she said, "Elena was a happy girl. She was always so, so happy and laughing. I never thought that I'd live past her."

"Mrs. Daniels, I'm sorry, but I need to ask you a few questions."

Mrs. Daniels nodded and Kate continued, "Did Elena have any enemies?"

"I don't know. She never…she never spoke of those things to me." A combination of her thick Eastern Europe accent and her tears made her next words incomprehensible.

Kate asked as gently as she could, "Excuse me?" Mrs. Daniels pressed a tissue to her face and took a deep breath.

She began again, "She never spoke to me about such things. I don't think she spoke to her sisters or her brother about such things."

"Would there be anyone that Elena would have talked with? Anyone outside the family?"

Mrs. Daniels's stayed silent for a while and then said, "Her friends. Her school friends, her drama friends, her art friends. Any of them. She always was very open with them. I never liked them, they were mostly sad and quiet. Nothing like my Elena. She deserved to be surrounded by happy people, by smiling people."

Kate asked, "Do you know who her friends are?"

"I know only a few. Hannah Anderson, Sophia Carson, Carly Hayes, Danielle Smith, Georgia Anson, Fiona MacGreggor, Julia MacGreggor, Penelope Jones, and Tanya Niro. I know there are more, she just never told me of them." Kate froze. Mrs. Daniels's didn't notice, but Rick did. And his face mirrored hers exactly. Finally she continued to ask her routine questions and when she was done, she and Rick (who had been unusually quiet throughout this) left Mrs. Daniels's to grieve in peace.

When they arrived back at the precinct, she told Esposito, "Bring in her friends in." She handed him the list and he moved off to find Ryan to call the school. She sat down heavily in her chair and felt Rick's eyes on her.

She looked up and snapped, "What?"

"I know what you're thinking and there's no way Carly could've killed Elena."

"How do we know? We don't because we don't know her."

"But I do know you, and as long as your blood runs through her veins, she won't be able to do anything much worse than taking an extra ketchup packet at McDonalds." She smirked.

* * *

Kate was writing in details on the murder board when Esposito and Ryan brought the girls in. Carly was glaring straight at Kate, hands stuffed in her pockets, while the rest of the girls chattered nervously. Ryan directed the girls to the break room and Esposito walked over.

"Carly's on the list?"

Kate nodded and said, "Alright, you and Ryan take one of them into interrogation and I'll take one and we'll go from there."

Esposito asked, "You want us to take Carly?"

Kate sighed and said, "No. It'd be better if I questioned her." Esposito nodded and went to join Ryan. They escorted one of the girls to Interrogation Room A and Kate strode over to the girls, Rick following closely. Carly jumped up and met them before they got all the way over.

Carly asked, "What the hell is going on? Penelope is in tears and Hannah thinks that we're all going to die and Tanya says that the only reason we'd be called down is because someone got whacked."

"You'll find out in a second, but first, can you tell me who's who?"

Cary pointed to a pair of red-haired girls and said, "Those are the MacGreggor twins. Fiona is the one in the green beanie and if she takes that off, Julia is the one in braids." She pointed to a blonde and a brunette with green bangs.

She said, "The blonde that's…now crying, is Hannah Anderson. The green bangs are Penelope. Over there, that's Sophia. Those two standing by the cappuccino machine are Danielle and Georgia, Georgia's the dirty blonde with the pony tail, Danielle is the really, really light blonde one with the bun. Tanya is the blue haired one that's looking like she wants to jump off the roof of the building."

Kate nodded and as Carly walked back to her seat with the MacGreggors, Kate called her first girl in.

* * *

**Yay! Longer chapter this time, so I'm proud. So, do I have a reason to be proud? Please review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**New chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Close to four hours later, Kate was exhausted and she had only talked to four of the girls. After she had escorted Penelope Jones out, she called, "Carly, come with me." Carly looked up from where she was sitting, rubbing soothing circles on Hannah's back.

She stood up and asked Hannah quietly, "Do you think you'll be okay?" Hannah nodded through her tears and as soon as Carly began walking away, was pulled into a hug by Penelope who was bawling herself. Carly walked behind Kate solemnly, eyes focused on the ground. Rick had stepped out of the room, it seemed, while she had been gone. Kate held the door open for Carly and closed it carefully. Carly lowered herself into a chair carefully and Kate took a seat across from her.

"She's not really dead, is she? I mean, it might just be someone that looks exactly like her."

Kate slid a tissue box towards her and said, "It's okay to cry, if you want."

Carly looked at the tissue box and said, "I'm afraid that if I start, I'll never stop. …Elena was like my sister. We grew up together."

"I need to ask you a few questions. Will you be okay?"

"I've probably been through worse than a few questions. Just start."

Kate watched Carly for a few seconds and then asked, "Was Elena involved in any illegal activities?"

Carly snorted. "Are you joking? Elena is…Elena was the most legal of us all." Kate looked at Carly for further explanation and she didn't disappoint. "I'm not saying that we ever did anything _bad_, but we would walk on grass when there was a sign telling us not to. We'd take food into the library. We'd take flash photography photos in the museum. Elena was always telling us not to. She always said that in the end, God would love us anyway, but right then, the guard was going to kill us." Carly blinked her eyes rapidly and smiled weakly.

"Did Elena have any problems with anyone?"

"Her parents. Her siblings. Her teachers, her classmates, hell, she had problems with all of us at some point. But, it was never…nothing could have led to this."

"Did any of those problems turn violent?"

"She and her sisters would duke it out sometimes, but none of them could have done anything like this to her."

"Was she seeing anyone recently?"

Carly sniffed and said, "She was seeing a lot of guys. Elena liked to keep her options open, you know? The girls and I…we met most of them, you know, give her a panel of experts, ten thumbs up and all that. She hadn't brought any boys by in the past few weeks, though. I almost thought she was joining a nunnery."

"Do you know what she'd be doing down at a warehouse on 272nd Street?"

"I don't…I don't know. Elena could always take care of herself, none of us thought to worry about her."

"Was 272nd on her way to school?"

"What? School is in the other direction. And she knows…she knew that." Kate looked down at her file and when she looked back up, Carly was staring at her hands, her eyes beginning to glisten.

Kate said, "We'll find the bastard that did this."

"I don't think that even that will help."

Kate closed the file and said, "I know. Nothing will ever really help except time and a hell of a lot of ice cream." Carly looked up from her hands, her face beginning to crumble.

"How do you know?"

Kate leaned forward and said, "My mother was murdered, fifteen years ago. She was trying to free a wrongfully accused man and she got involved in something that certain people thought that she shouldn't have. They found her body in an alley."

Carly's mouth popped open and her eyes widened. "Oh, God. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright. I've started to heal, finally."

"…I'll have to wait fifteen years to start wanting to get up and live again?"

"Maybe. But it might be sooner. You might wake up one day, and start to see the color in the world again."

* * *

It was close to ten at night when Kate arrived home. They hadn't been getting anywhere on the case and Kate knew that her staying any longer would just make her a monster in the morning. She had sent Rick and Carly back to the loft hours earlier, and was somewhat glad that she did. As much as she loved Rick's company, Carly didn't need to be around her friend's murder investigation. At least this way, Carly had a chance to process the news on her own.

When she walked in the door, she was surprised, to say the least, when she saw Carly curled up at one end of the couch, fast asleep, and Rick on the other, watching the original Karate Kid. He looked up when he heard the door close.

Kate glanced between him and Carly and asked, "How long has she been asleep?"

He glanced at the clock. "An hour and a half." Kate studied Carly's peaceful face.

"Has she been alright?"

"She's been…silent." Kate nodded.

She told him, "You go to bed. You look exhausted. I'll stay down here until she wakes up."

Rick asked, "You're sure?"

"Yeah. Go." He nodded and lifted himself off the couch, groaning as he stretched.

He muttered, "I must be getting old," and ascended the stairs. Kate dropped her bag and shook her jacket off. When her things were put away, she settled herself onto the couch and switched the DVD player off. As she looked for something interesting to watch, Carly stirred in her sleep. Kate glanced over and decided that it was much too cold in the loft. She got up and grabbed a blanket off one of the armchairs and draped it over Carly's body.

* * *

Kate woke up to sniffling. She groggily looked around and saw that the clock on the wall said it was close to one in the morning. The TV was still on, playing at a very low volume. Illuminated by the glow of the screen, Kate could see Carly curled up at the other end of the couch, staring at the screen, the light reflecting off the tear tracks on her cheeks. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and she had a box of Kleenex next to her. Kate shifted, uncurling her legs from where they had been tucked underneath her and Carly looked over.

She immediately began trying to wipe the tears from her face and she said, "Good…morning. …I think it's morning, anyway."

"How long have you been up?"

"An hour? Maybe two. I can't sleep."

"Have you been crying the entire time?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Oh, Carly. You should have woken me up."

She shook her head and said, "I'm fine. I was fine, and I still am fine." Kate got up and moved closer. She tentatively placed a hand on Carly's shoulder, expecting her to shrug it off.

When she didn't, she said, "It's not your fault Elena's dead. And it will never be your fault."

Carly looked up at her with wide, tear filled eyes and said, "Elena and I were like sisters. We took care of each other. But now, she's dead. ...And I can't fix that. I can never fix that." She crumbled, a new wave of tears cascading down her cheeks. Kate instinctually pulled Carly into a hug and was surprised when Carly didn't push her away. She smoothed a hand over Carly's hair, whispering words of comfort in her ear.

* * *

**I've been lucky enough to not have lost anyone recently, so I hope I've written the grief accurately. I mean, I have lost people, but I was younger and didn't quite comprehend what was going on. Anyway, while I was writing this chapter, I've been basically bawling this entire time because I've been imagining what it's be like to lose one of my best friends. Sorry, random tangent. Anyway, the next chapter should be up sometime this week…but it'll be up sooner if you review… **


	14. Chapter 14

**Alright, seven reviews! That's enough to spur me into action, so, NEW CHAPTER. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. **

**WARNING: This chapter includes three F-Bombs. I'm sorry, I'm trying to clean up my language, but it was necessary to the dialogue. **

* * *

"_CAROLINE, HAND ME THE DAMN BOTTLE." _

_"__No." Her voice is quiet, she knows, but at the moment it sounds like she had just yelled. His face is distorted by rage and his voice is taut. _

_"What the fuck did you just say?" _

_"Daddy, no." _

_"DAMMIT." She shrinks back. _

_"YOU WILL HAND ME THE FUCKING BOTTLE OR I'LL SHOVE YOU DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS." His voice softens and her eyes snap up because she knows that this is when it gets bad. _

_He says softly, "I'll shove you down the stairs and we both know I don't want you to get bloodied up again." _

_"I won't hand you the bottle, Daddy." He shoves her, hard, with both hands and she falls into the darkness._

_{}_

"_YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASSES OFF THAT LAWN." Elena is screaming, trying to get their attention because a slow moving security guard is ambling towards them. _

_Penelope calls out, "Join us Ellie! It's fun and we can outrun him!" Elena's face holds a look of teasing disapproval, but she gets up from her perch on a bench and runs towards them. _

_Sophia asks, "Isn't it amazing?" _

_"We're standing on a lawn that's worth seven million dollars, at least. It doesn't feel any more amazing than Danielle's lawn." _

_Danielle grins goofily and says, "My lawn is pretty amazing." Elena turns and redirects her attention. _

_"Carly, I suggest you move." She's confused. _

_"What?" _

_"I suggest you-" Elena is cut off when the sprinklers switch on. A shot of cold water jumps up Carly's skirt and she shrieks._

_{}_

_It's dark. It's always dark, but this time, she hears screaming. She stumbles towards the sound, and falls through the floor. When the lights come up, she's onstage, microphone in hand, and the audience is waiting with bated breath. _

_And then she sees them. Their smiling like they've never been prouder. She sees him a second later, just a second too late. The lights glint off the barrel of the gun as he aims it carefully. _

**_Bang. _**

_**Bang.** _

_Their bodies crumple. A scream of anguish emerges from somewhere in the vicinity of her mouth. The gun is aimed at her next. _

**_Bang._**

_{}_

_She's at that damn warehouse. And she sees Elena duck in and she sees movement on the other side of the room. She wants to scream, to get Elena's attention, to save her, but she can't. For the first time in a long time, her voice isn't working. And she's frozen to her place and unable to scream when a shadowy figure comes up from behind Elena and slams an old, rusty pipe down on her head._

* * *

Carly woke up screaming. Warm hands smoothed her hair back and she heard someone whisper, "Shhh, shhh. Carly, you're okay." Her eyes flew open and she saw Kate looking down at her in worry. Carly bolted up, causing Kate to jump back a few inches in surprise.

She gasped out, "What time is it?"

Kate pushed her back down gently, and said in a soothing voice, "Breathe." Carly, for once, listened.

When her chest stopped heaving and her heart stopped pounding, she asked again, "What time is it?"

"Close to nine. Are you okay?"

She had to think about it for a second, because honestly, she didn't know. "I guess I am. …I don't know. I really don't know."

Kate nodded and asked, "Do you want some breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"Carly, starving yourself isn't going to make it hurt any less."

"But it can't hurt to try."

Kate gave her a sympathetic look and said, "You need to eat."

"Not necessarily. The average human can go nearly five days without sustenance of any kind."

"You're not average. You're grieving. You _need _to eat."

Carly's willpower was almost none existent and she was so exhausted that she finally said, "Fine. I'll eat."

* * *

The following few days, Kate let Esposito and Ryan handle the case while she stayed home and watched endless episode of Temptation Lane with Carly. Carly hadn't gone to school, nor had she attended her psychiatrist appointment, but Kate figured it was warranted.

Carly would occasionally share information about Elena, like that she was allergic to shrimp, but she ate it anyway, and that they had accidentally killed a snake when they were four. Rick would join them occasionally, but with the latest of his Nikki Heat novels debuting in five short weeks, he would have to run out to meeting with his publisher and agent and publicist. Kate figured that he was trying to give them some time to figure things out.

Halfway through episode seven, season fifteen, Carly asked, "When did you become a fan of Temptation Lane?"

Kate was surprised to hear her talking, but she answered, "My tonsils had just been taken out, so my mom and I curled up and watched episode after episode after episode. I've been watching ever since. What about you? What made you a 'Lane' fan?" Carly's eyes misted over and Kate worried that she had brought bad memories to the surface.

But Carly answered, "I was, like, seven and I was left alone in the house. I wasn't supposed to watch shows like that, but I wanted to make myself feel better. It got addicting, so I would sneak it when I had the chance."

When the episode ended, Carly asked during the intro music for the next episode, "Can you tell me about your mom?" Kate glanced over and saw Carly watching her, looking for a response.

Kate angled her body towards Carly and said, "My mother was a civil defense lawyer…"

* * *

By the end of Kate's description, they were both crying. Kate, in all honesty, had started the crying, breaking down when she talked about what a great cook her mom was. Carly cried because she was too emotionally drained to have a guard up and because she was mourning the loss of the grandmother she never had a chance to know as well as the loss of a friend akin to a sister. Kate had pulled Carly close and Carly hadn't even thought to push away or make some cruel, cold hearted comment that she was just so damn good at coming up with. When Kate released her, they both grabbed gobs of tissues and tried to clean themselves up a bit. Carly sniffed and smiled weakly.

She said, "She sounds like she was a great woman."

"She was."

"…Is that why you became a cop? You said that she was murdered. …Is that the reason why you didn't become a teacher or a lawyer or a doctor or something?"

"Yes."

Carly nodded and glanced at the TV. Her eyes widened in surprise and she said, "Wow. It's already on the wedding episode. I thought we were at episode seven…" They turned their attention back to the show, both falling silent except for the occasional sniffle.

* * *

**So, some more mother-daughter bonding. I just had to write it. I hope it's good, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Oh, and this story broke 60 reviews! And I'd love it if it could break 70. So please, I invite you to review!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Alright, even though this story is, like, two reviews away from breaking seventy, I got tired of not writing, so NEW CHAPTER. ZOMG. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

The night before the funeral and Carly was finding it impossible to wipe her mind clean and let sleep claim her. She had been tossing and turning in her bed, hoping that maybe she might get lucky and just pass out from exhaustion, both physical and emotional.

She glanced at the clock again and saw it read three forty seven. Too damn late. Or early, if you wanted to be like that. She threw back the covers and rolled out. She got dressed mechanically, her mind far elsewhere, remembering birthdays and musicals and first days of school. She grabbed her jacket and slid the Silvers into her pocket.

{}

On the ride down, the elevator stopped on the fifteenth floor. The doors slid open and Mason stepped in.

He glanced at her and said, "You, again." She dipped her head in his direction.

He commented, "You look like shit. No offense."

"And yet I'm offended." Carly surprised herself. She hadn't made comments like that in days, had been completely straightforward and neutral.

He said, "I just mean, you look like you haven't slept or eaten or showered in a few days."

"I actually have showered, thank you very much."

"Sleeping and eating?"

"Not so much."

"…You going to smoke?" She nodded slowly. The elevator stopped and they stepped out.

Mason held the door open for her and she stepped out into the cold air. Mason joined her on the curb moments later and offered her his lighter. She accepted and he lit her cigarette. She inhaled, savoring the nicotine as it seeped into her lungs.

Mason asked, "So what's up under your skin?" Carly shot him a look and he shrugged his shoulders, as if to say _just wondering_.

They smoked in silence for a bit and then he asked, "Am I going to get an answer or are we just gonna smoke in dead silence." Carly cocked her head and glared.

"What makes you think that I want to tell you anything?"

"Because you're still sitting here. You could've lit up and left."

"You're such a…" She sighed. "One of my best friends was murdered." Mason dropped the cigarette away from his mouth and let out a _whoosh_ of air.

"Holy shit. …I'm guessing that that's why you're smoking a mile a minute."

"Yeah, I guess it is." She snuffed out her cigarette and pulled out another. Lit up. Inhaled. Studied his face. He noticed and stared right back. It went on like that for near an hour. She worked steadily through half the pack, he matched her cigarette for cigarette. They stared at each other and in retrospect, she should have known. They were like two stubborn drivers playing chicken, eventually one would duck out or they'd crash.

{}

They crashed. It was near four thirty when she snuffed out her twelfth cigarette and she walked over to the trash can to dump her discards. She wasn't expecting him to be right behind her when she turned to go back. He roughly pulled her face to his and kissed her.

She wasn't inexperienced in the slightest, living in bad neighborhood had taught her exactly what to do, but it was the first time in days that she felt something other than aching sadness. She felt alive and she felt like every nerve ending in her body is on high alert.

His hands rested on her waist and they began to move backwards until her back hit the wall of the building. The cold air made her shiver and she pulled him closer and twisted her fingers through his thick black hair. His blue eyes flashed with some emotion that Carly wasn't familiar with.

They pulled back just far enough so that their lips weren't actually touching and he whispered, "Wow."

She brought her hand back and slapped him across his cute little face and ran into the building.

{}

Her head was spinning with kisses and boys with thick black hair when she gets back to the loft. Rick and Kate were both still fast asleep and she managed to make it back to her room without messing up or falling. Carly changed out of her clothes and back into her pajamas and fell into her bed. She fell asleep within minutes.

{}

Carly hated black. It was dark and depressing and at that moment, a part of her _black_ dress was scratching at her side. And she hated it even more because everyone was wearing black to the memorial of a girl that was the exact opposite of black. She was happy yellows, calm blues, joyful greens, passionate reds, regal purples, hell, she was every color except black.

Carly shifted in her seat. She glanced around herself. Tanya was sitting down at the end of the pew, Georgia sitting next to her, leaning into each other, attempting to draw strength from where there was no strength to be found anymore. Sophia was sitting next to Georgia, toying with the rosary that hung from around her neck. Next to Sophia, was Hannah, who was sobbing softly into Carly's shoulder. On Carly's other side was Penelope, who was staring straight ahead, looking like she wanted to be the one in the coffin. Next to Penelope were the twins, who were clinging to each other like a drowning man might cling to a piece of driftwood. Danielle hadn't showed, Carly figured that she was hiding under her covers, much like Carly had done that very same morning when Kate had gone to wake her up.

In the pew ahead of them, Scott, Annika, Natasha, Maxim, and Anastasia Daniels were alternately sobbing into their hands and staring at the coffin blankly, as if it was impossible for them to comprehend the fact that Elena was dead. Off to one side sat some relatives that she recognized from Elena's photos. In the back were the rest of Elena's classmates and teachers. Carly knew that Kate and Rick were sitting in the way back, probably not wanting to intrude on the funeral, seeing as they didn't actually know Elena. After a few moments of silence, the priest standing at the front of the cathedral spoke.

"Today, we gather to remember Elena Madison Daniels, a young life cut too short. Please turn to page seven hundred and fifty four in your hymnals…"

{}

If felt like her heart was breaking. And Carly's heart did not break easily. But listening to people's stories and memories of Elena, she felt a dull pain begin to ache again and a hollow feeling developed in the pit of her stomach. Hannah was all but breaking her hand and Penelope had begun to cry softly. Sophia was counting off beads on her rosary furiously, as if praying would bring Elena back. Carly scoffed inwardly. Praying never could bring anything back.

The priest droned on and on about how that in the end, we all die and shit like that. Carly blocked him out. She didn't need some stuffy old priest telling her what she already knew. But suddenly, the lights dimmed.

The priest said, "Elena's parents have arranged for a video from the RiverView Talent Show, 2012 to be shown, as to better illustrate Elena's passion in a way that I cannot with words." A large projector screen came down from the ceiling and for once, Carly admitted that she was surprised. The cathedral had to have been several hundred years old, but it had a projection screen. The little miracles never cease.

A somewhat grainy video appeared and for those that didn't know what they were looking at, it looked like a bunch of crap. But for those that had either been in or attended the 2012 talent show, they knew exactly what they were looking at. Hannah and Tanya stood in the front, with Fiona off to the left and Sophia to the right. Music started. Carly averted her eyes.

She knew how this story went. Group of friends enter talent show, win with their amaze-balls singing skills, and go from nada to number one in twenty seconds flat. She looked back up when Elena began singing. Elena had always had the best voice of all the group. Carly's eyes locked in on Elena, ignoring herself and the others, and when the damn song finally ended, the audiences static-y applause reverberated throughout the cathedral.

* * *

**It jumped around a little, but I wanted to get it up before my 'deadline'. Anyway, I love getting reviews (yeah, I know, kind of whoreish, but I don't care), so I invite you to hit th blue/purple/green button and send a review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**New chapter...FINALLY. Sorry about taking a bit longer to update. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"Kate?"

Kate looked up from the Daniels file. "What can I do for you, Carly?"

"Can I…um…may I see Elena's file?" Carly was standing at the bottom of the stairs, wringing her hands, looking more vulnerable than Kate had ever seen her.

"I'm not sure that that's a great idea. The pictures are pretty graphic."

"I'm sure I've seen worse."

"Carly, it's one of your friends. You shouldn't see it."

"That's exactly why I want to see the file. At least then, I won't be imagining the worst."

"Carly, no."

She sighed. "Can you at least tell me how she died? Tanya said that someone hit her with a pipe or something, but Tanya lies. A lot." Her face looked like glass. Like anything could shatter her.

Kate chose her words carefully. "Tanya wasn't lying. Elena was killed with a pipe."

Carly nodded. "Was it…did she suffer?"

"No. The first blow knocked her unconscious."

"That's good, I suppose." Carly disappeared back up the stairs and reappeared moments later, a huge text book tucked under her arm.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"Not at all. What's that for?" Kate gestured to the text book.

Carly glanced down at it and answered, "Oh, this is for my Modern Justice class. Our assignment for the week was to read through chapter four and I got too far behind." Carly sat down on the other end of the couch, cracked open her book, and pulled a highlighter out from behind her ear. Kate turned back to the file.

* * *

Almost two hours later, the door flew open.

"Good afternoon darlings!" Carly was far too engrossed in her textbook to bother to look up, but Kate's head snapped up to see Martha sweep into loft, Alexis close behind her.

"Hello Kate!"

"What're you guys doing-"

Martha noticed Carly, who had just peeked out over the top of her textbook. "And who is this young lady?"

Carly snapped her book shut and said hurriedly, "I'm Carly and I'm going to go upstairs now."

Before she could flee up the stairs, Kate caught hold of her arm and said, "Carly, wait." She grudgingly returned to her seat at the end of the couch. Kate turned to face her mother-in-law and step-daughter.

"This is Carly. My daughter."

Alexis's mouth popped open. "Your daughter?"

"Yes, her daughter. And I'm sitting right here." Carly waved her hands around in annoyance. Martha's attention was redirected back to Carly.

"Of course you are, darling. Welcome to the family!" Before Carly knew what was happening, she was pulled into a gentle hug.

When she was released, she said somewhat confusedly, "Thank you…?"

Alexis peered around her grandmother's shoulder and smiled. "Hi, I'm Alexis."

Carly half-waved and said, "Hi. So, I'm going to go upstairs and I'll probably never come down. …Bye." She fled up the stairs. Martha turned her gaze to Kate who began to explain.

"When I was nineteen I made a few mistakes and I ended up pregnant. Reason number one to never go to crazy college dorm parties."

She sent a pointed glance at Alexis who said, "I'm too busy studying. No worries there."

Kate continued, "I gave Carly up for adoption. Last week, her social worker called me to tell me that she was about to be moved to one of the last foster homes that were willing to take her in, so she- the social worker- decided that calling me was the most logical thing to do. She's been here since last Saturday."

Martha asked, "And _why _haven't we heard of her before?"

"It's…um…not exactly a time in my life that I like to think about."

* * *

Carly slammed her textbook down onto her bed. Unfortunately for her, her pinky got in the way.

"Damn."

She needed a smoke. And she needed it bad. But, it seemed as if the universe was laughing at her, because there was no way in hell that she'd be able to make it down the stairs and out the door with a pack of cigarettes in her pocket without somebody noticing. Even she wasn't that good.

She hauled her duffel bag out of the closet and sifted through her stuff until she found the pack of nicotine gum that she'd had for almost a year.

She glanced at the expiration date and, after noting that it was nearly three months past, sighed and said to herself, "Better late than never." After popping a piece into her mouth, she gagged slightly. The gum tasted like kiwis. And kiwis did not set well with her.

As she chewed, she felt less suckish, just as the label on the gum wrapper advertised. At least something was making sense. Carly reopened her textbook and returned to her reading, hoping to lose herself in legal jargon and long fancy names for a three letter word.

* * *

"Carly?" Kate was greeted by silence.

She knocked against the door again. "Carly?" A scuffling sound came from the other side and then the door was thrown open. Carly looked up at her through somewhat bleary eyes.

She asked in a thick voice, "Yes?" Kate leaned against the door frame.

"Why don't you come downstairs?"

"I'd really rather not."

"It's not really a question."

Carly rubbed her eyes. "Fine. Give me a sec."

Kate nodded and turned to go back to the stairs, but before she got there, Carly asked, "Kate? Who are those women?"

"Oh! I completely forgot to tell you… Martha, the one that hugged you, is Rick's mom. Alexis is his daughter." Carly nodded and slammed her door shut.

* * *

**Filler chapter. I know, I kind of suck. Anyway, please don't favorite without reviewing. If you just favorite it, I'll assume that there is nothing to be improved upon and my writing will stay at the same caliber as it is now. Please and thanks! **

**P.S. The next chapter (chapter of actual substance, I mean) should be up by later this week, but I make no promises. I have, like, seven tests. :-o**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hello! It's been _far_ too long, and I apologize for that. This chapter is a little shorter, but I have a five day weekend coming up, so I'll be writing like a mad fool to crank out another chapter, if not two new chapters. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Step, step, _CREEAAAAK_. Carly froze. She had been hoping that she'd be able to make it down the stairs quietly and virtually invisibly. Obviously those plans weren't working out so well. She took a few more tentative steps to get to a position in which she could determine the situation that she'd be walking into.

For Carly, there were three main situations that she walked into throughout her time in the system. There was the Sex Scenario, in which she walks into a room and stumbles upon her fosters having sex. Seeing as her mother's husband wasn't home, she figured she was safe on that account. …Hopefully. The second situation, the Drunk Scenario, involved a drunk guardian type figure, and any repercussions that came from the inebriation. Last she'd checked, she hadn't found any alcoholic liquids, but she couldn't rule that scenario out completely. And the third main situation was the Let's-All-Talk-About-Carly-Like-She's-Not-Here-Because-We-Hate-Her-And-Wish-She-Was-Gone/Dead/Never Born Scenario, in which she could be standing in the center of the room, doing an idiotic tap dance and everyone still would talk about her to each other. That one probably hurt the most, mostly because she hated it when people talked like she wasn't even there. But as far as she'd seen, Kate wasn't the type. So that left her bumbling around in uncharted territory, hoping that she'd eventually find her way back to what she knew. Great. Because she worked _so_ well with confusion.

From her standpoint, she could see that she would not be walking in on either of the first two situations.

And when Kate glanced at the stairs and said, "Oh, Carly, come join us," she could see that it wasn't the third scenario either. Usually, people just stared blankly through her. She walked down the remainder of the stairs carefully, seeing as she did _not_ want to make a fool of herself in front of these people. Actually, she just didn't want to make a fool of herself, and it wouldn't have really mattered whether anyone was in the room, because she'd still feel like an idiot if she tumbled down the stairs.

For once, her mind and her limbs were in sync and she managed to make it to the couch without falling. She perched uneasily on the edge of the farthest end couch, putting as much distance between her and Kate and Alexis and Martha. Distance, that's what she knew and she damn was good at creating it.

Throughout the conversation, Carly was content with just listening, and she managed to deflect any and all questions that were directed at her with a simple shrug or one worded answer. Sure, she could've been a little more pleasant, but life could've been a little nicer to her. Seems like no one got their way in this world.

From what she gathered, Alexis was a college student, attending an out of state university, and she couldn't decide whether she was going to stick with her major in psychology, while Martha was filming a movie in Pennsylvania and that the actress cast as the lead was a bitch, although Martha herself hadn't said those words, but from the way she had stopped talking abruptly and looked at Carly quickly, Carly was able to fill in the blank.

Kate said, "I completely forgot that you guys were coming over today." She glanced at her watch. "Actually, if I start now, we can still manage to eat before midnight."

She got up from her seat and moved to the kitchen, closely followed by Martha who said, "Let me help you, darling."

Carly and Alexis sat in silence for a bit and then Alexis said, "Kate said you take a psychology class at your school. Have you learned about personality disorders yet?"

Carly, who was trying to find a reason to fill someone's purse with mayonnaise (and that search was proving to be futile), looked over at Alexis and paused. Not many people made a point to ask about her classes. Actually, the list was only Kate, Alexis, and her dance teacher, Mary.

She answered somewhat hesitantly, "Not yet. We've just started covering what causes emotions. My teacher says that we'll move onto personality disorders sometime in the spring."

"Oh, that's cool. What've you already learned about emotions?"

"Not much, just the neuropaths that are created to trigger certain emotions and how you can condition a brain."

"Have you learned about Pavlov's dogs yet?"

"We're supposed to watch a documentary on them on Monday."

"It's fascinating."

"I've heard that."

* * *

Kate smiled as Carly and Alexis chatted about nurture versus nature and Pavlov's dogs and other psychological things that Kate really didn't know about.

Martha glanced over her shoulder and said, "It seems that they're getting along."

"It seems so."

* * *

**So, it's short. Like, really short. And I don't really know where Castle is in this chapter. I'm going to say that he's being yelled at by Gina and his agent, Mona. Anyway, please review!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Alright, I'm starting to get back into my groove, so I should be updating at least once a week, if not more. However, I can't promise anything because I'm nearing the end of my school year and I have a load of exams and I have to memorize my lines for my play and...I'm just going to stop now. No one needs to hear about my schooling issues. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

In a different life, Carly supposed, she could easily see herself melting into this family. She could see herself eating dinner with Rick and Kate every night and going to Alexis's graduation and watching Martha's movie. She could see that, in a different life, she could easily be part of this little world. In a different life, she wouldn't be so terribly scared of the world and she wouldn't have night terrors and she'd have a mom and a dad that actually care enough not to leave her in one way or another. And if some magical genie suddenly appeared and offered her a chance to rewrite history and give herself that life? Hell yes. She would jump at the chance.

Carly turned over on her side. Dinner had been nice and thoroughly not horrifying. There had been no screaming matches, fires, and the apartment above theirs hadn't exploded. All in all, a pretty good night for Carly. And when they all had retired to their respective rooms (Martha and Alexis were staying for the three day weekend), no one had a black eye or broken wrist. But Carly found herself restless.

She flipped onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow, hoping that maybe she'd find some answers there, because the little nagging voice in the back of her mind was bugging her again. And it wasn't even saying anything entertaining.

It was just whispering, "You can have that life, Carly. Just bend a little."

As if she could bend without breaking. In her world, there was no such thing. She flipped onto her back and groaned. She wanted to smoke, badly, but she didn't think she could risk sneaking out when there were four adults in the house that probably all disapproved of underage smoking.

Finally, she rolled out of bed and dragged her duffel out of the closet to her right. After unzipping it, she stuck her hand straight through the center and pulled out her notebook. Flipping to the back, she reached a hand back into her bag and emerged clutching a ballpoint pen. She scanned the list of names until she reached the bottom, where there was a space open. She filled in the name Green, and made a few notes beside it. Nothing too difficult, but it took enough time. After checking the clock, she slid her things back in and stored her bag back in the closet.

She shrugged her jacket on and steeled her nerves. She'd have to be like a ninja. Actually, she'd have to be better than a ninja. She'd have to be…a ninja master, or something. The door creaked slightly as she tiptoed out. She froze and judged whether she was safe or not. It was silent. Carly all but flew down the stairs and rushed out the front door. In the elevator, she relaxed. That is, until it stopped on the fifteenth floor.

For a moment, she thought that she was trapped again. But then, the doors slid open and Mason stepped in. He glanced at her, a look of surprise plastered on his face.

"I didn't think I'd see you again."

"I guess I'm just full of surprises."

"I'll say you are. What was with you slapping me?" Carly gave him a glare.

"Alright then…"

The doors slid open into the lobby and as they walked out, Carly said, "You just…surprised me. Ambushed me, more like it."

"…I'm sorry. I just thought that we, I don't know, had something."

They moved down towards the lamp post and Carly said, "We had a smoke, in the middle of the night. That's not kissing material. Light me, would you?" She held out her cigarette and he lit it. She took a drag.

He inhaled his own cigarette and then asked, "Give me a second chance?" She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"We'll see. Let me finish the cigarette and we'll see."

{}

Carly looked down at the smoldering remains of her last cigarette. She hadn't planned on finishing the pack, but she'd been smoking more than normal. And somewhere in those seven (maybe eight) cigarettes, Mason had draped his jacket around her shoulders, because he saw her shiver in the cool air. Carly mentally berated herself. She'd lived in New York her entire life, and she always managed to go outside in just her pajamas and light jacket. In September. Someone call the Idiot Patrol and tell them they have a new recruit.

Mason held out his pack of Marlboro's.

"Want one?"

"…How strong are they? I mean, I smoke Silvers. It's about as light as light gets."

"It's not too bad. After the first puff, it's alright." She reached for one, but he pulled back. Mason grinned.

"You get one for a kiss."

"I-"

"You said that once you finished your cigarette, you'd decide whether or not to give me a second chance. You've just worked through about seven cigarettes." He paused and then opened his mouth to continue, but Carly covered his mouth with hers. She edged closer and her fingers nimbly retrieved a cigarette from the pack that hung limply in his hand. She pulled back and smirked.

"Light me?" They smoked in silence, with them stealing glances at each other occasionally.

Finally, after about twenty minutes and three cigarettes later, Mason asked, "So what now?"

Carly smiled and said, "Now, I'm going to go back to my loft and go to bed. I don't know what you're doing." She bounced up and tossed his jacket back down to him.

"I'll see you around." She stepped into the warm air and made her way to the elevator quickly. She didn't want to have to ride an elevator up with him.

When she made it to the door, she faced a dilemma. She had forgotten to grab that 'emergency' key. And no key meant she was locked out. Inspiration struck her. She felt around her hair and pulled out one of the few bobby pins that she'd forgotten to take out. For once, it seemed, life was on her side. Those thoughts were crushed however, when she finally got the door open and ran straight into Kate.

* * *

**Cliffhanger! Oh, I just hate it when authors end a chapter like that. But hey, you could easily remedy that problem with a review! :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Alright, I promised a confrontation, but I also mixed some backstory in. WOOT. Score one for mixing ideas! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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"Carly?" Carly's eyes snapped up to meet Kate's. Kate saw shock and fear in them.

"Oh, um, good morning Kate. I just went out to get some fresh air." Kate recoiled slightly as the stench of smoke hit her. The smell was rolling off of Carly in waves and Carly seemed to know it.

"Carly, what were you doing?" Carly set her chin and stood a little straighter. Her eyes adopted a look of defiance.

"What makes you think I'm going to tell you?"

"Because you and I both know it's obvious." Carly cocked her head to the side.

"Fine. I was smoking. Yes Kate, I'm a smoker. I've been smoking since I was eleven and I have no intention to stop. I like how it feels and you know what? It's the only habit I've got. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I don't sleep around. I smoke. There, I've answered your damn question. Happy now?" There was silence for a moment.

Finally, Kate said softly. "You need to quit Carly. As glad as I am to hear that you're not on drugs or doing anything else, you're still killing yourself."

"Don't you think I know that? It's not like I'm happy to be dependent on a habit. I just am, okay? Don't take that away from me." Carly looked like she was close to tears. Kate spoke carefully.

"Carly, it's unhealthy and you're far too young to be doing this to yourself. Your lungs are young and can be damaged easier. You'll be dead before you're forty if you keep it up." Carly dropped down on the couch and held her head in her hands.

"I know, Kate. I know all the facts and figures and I know all the statistics. Hell, I am the statistic. And as much as I hate to the outcome, I'm not going to quit." Kate sat down next to Carly and placed a soothing hand on her back.

"If you hate the outcome so much, why _don't _you quit?"

Carly peeked out from between her fingers and said in a small voice, "Autophobia is the fear of being left, abandoned. Smoking is the only thing that I know won't leave me."

"Carly, no one's going to leave you." Carly's response came out muffled.

"Prove it."

Kate sat back and said, "Alright, tell me how I can prove to you that I'm not going anywhere." The look on Carly's face said it all. She didn't buy a word of what she was saying.

Finally, Carly said, "Tell me about why you gave me up and I'll tell you about my life. If after that, you don't think I'm too 'traumatized' for you to deal with and you don't pack me up and send me back to CPS headquarters for relocation, then I'll believe you. I'll quit smoking, too." They shook on it and Kate began.

"I was nineteen. My mother had just been murdered and I was still in shock. I guess I more or less withdrew from the world. It just seemed too scary to face on my own, you know?"

Carly nodded and Kate continued, "A few weeks after her death, one of my friends invited me to a party that their roommate was throwing. They said that it'd serve me well to get out and live again. Some frat boys brought a keg and we'll just say that the alcohol influenced me. I found out I was pregnant a month later. I had the financial means to support you, my parents were well off. If it was just based on that, I would have kept you. But raising a child involves more than just money. I wasn't emotionally ready to care for another human being; I could barely take care of myself. I was already thinking about joining the academy and all I could think about was if I kept you and still went on to be a cop, I could very easily get myself killed and I didn't want to leave you without a mother. I knew what that was like. I figured, if I gave you up for adoption, you could have a chance at a life that didn't involve death or violence. Alright, your turn."

Carly was staring down at her hands and when she spoke, her voice was thick. "Wow. I feel like a jerk. All these years, I've basically hated you because you gave me up. I thought you didn't want me, that I wasn't good enough to be kept."

"Carly, you were never not good enough. You were perfect. I just wasn't able to give you the life you deserved." Carly nodded. She swiped a hand across her face and looked up from her hands.

"The family I was adopted into, the Hayeses, was the perfect family. I had an older brother, Henry, who was eleven years older than me and my parents were amazing. They were from the South, so Henry and I called them Mama and Daddy. Well, I called Daddy that, Henry called him Pop. Said it didn't sound so girly. They never hid that I was adopted, but it wasn't like they painted it on our roof or anything. Half our neighborhood didn't even know, I blended in so well."

A smile ghosted Carly's features.

"I was the little princess of the family. Henry was a doting big brother, Mama was just beside herself with happiness, and Daddy…Daddy wasn't home much. He worked hard to give us everything. But when he was home, he'd read to me or let me mess with his hair. One time, he let me and Henry repaint his car. …I had the perfect childhood. ...Um, a couple of days before my sixth birthday, Mama took Henry and I to a toy store so I could pick out which bike I wanted. She had said that she'd get Daddy to teach how to ride a bike on my birthday. She'd been putting it off as long as possible, so it was a pretty big thing for me. We, um, we were on our way home, when a Ford F150 slammed into us. Mama died on impact. Henry threw himself over me. Because of him, I got out with only a few bruised ribs, a broken arm and leg, and some cuts on my face from the glass. In the hospital, when he woke up for one of the last times, a nurse asked him why he did what he did. He said, 'I've had seventeen years. I thought I'd give her at least a chance at the same.' He died that night because of extensive bleeding in the brain. He wouldn't have died if he hadn't thrown himself over me. I would be dead and he'd have graduated college and gotten married and he'd be happy."

Carly stopped and sucked in a breath.

She wiped her face again and continued, "Daddy usually was a good man, but after their deaths, he started drinking and abusing some medications. When he was sober, he was still a good dad, he schlepped me to and from ballet and piano classes and playdates. But when he was drunk…let's just say I had some unexplained injuries that remain unexplained. As the years went on, he was drunk more and more of the time. Finally, right around the anniversary of the crash, he left. It was a couple of days before my ninth birthday. I went to bed and he was passed out on the couch and when I woke up, he was just flat gone. I kept it quiet for a few days. Then I ran out of food. The police came to investigate after my neighbors reported a lack of adult supervision. I became a ward of the state on my birthday. Sucky way to turn nine, huh? And then I bounced through seventy five horrible foster homes, and managed to be the one in a thousand that gets placed with a biological parent." Carly looked at Kate hesitantly, gauging her reaction.

She asked, with some of her usual edge in her voice, "So, now that I've spilled the beans, you probably want to send me back, right?" Kate was shell shocked. Apparently, her idea that adoption would provide a better life for Carly was wrong.

"I'm so, so sorry, Carly. If I had any idea that that's what was going to happen to you, I…I wouldn't have given you up."

Carly shrugged. "It's alright. I had a good life till I was six. That's more than some kids get."

* * *

**I'm not sure, did it seem a little rushed? Oh, I don't even know anymore, I'm so freaking tired. It's been a long weekend and it's now, like, one in the morning where I am. *yawns* Anyway, I'd love a review! Because, you know, reviews make the world go round...**


	20. Chapter 20

**TWENTIETH CHAPTER! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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"Carly? Do you think you're up for your dance class?" Carly glanced up from her textbook, sighed, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Sure. It'd do me some good." Kate nodded.

"Alexis, Martha, and I were going for lunch and then some shopping. Would you care to join us?"

"Yeah. I'd love to."

* * *

"Miss. Hayes, may I have this dance?"

Carly rolled her eyes at her dance partner's antics and said, "Knock it off, Ty. We need to practice before Mary and Marshall get back and spray us." Tyler laughed at the reference to the threat that Mary had made to spray anyone that wasn't practicing with a water bottle. She shot him a look and he clamped his mouth shut.

"Right, you have something against being spritzed with water. Alright, we practicing Viennese or tango?"

"Which one are we learning? Oh yeah, the Viennese Waltz."

Tyler mock-pouted and muttered, "Just thought that we'd spice it up. Get it, spice it up? Because the tango is from Spain? Spanish food?"

"Haha. Just get into position."

They clasped hands and as Tyler settled his hand on her waist, he asked, "So we need to just work on the spin-step-dip, right?"

"Mhmm. Do. Not. Drop. Me." "I'll try."

As the other dance couples began moving around the studio, Tyler asked, "Ready?"

"…Sure. Let's go with that."

They started into the dance and Tyler said just loud enough for the two of them to hear, "Step, step, step, spin," he twirled Carly out and she rolled back in, "Step, step, dip." His hand was warm through Carly's t-shirt as he supported her back as she bent until her hair was brushing the floor. His blue eyes locked with her hazel ones and then…they slipped. Well, his hand slipped and she crashed into the hardwood floor.

As Ruby passed with her dance partner, Damien, she asked, "You okay Carls?" They paused long enough for Carly to grumble out something that Ruby took as a yes.

Tyler scrambled to help Carly up and asked jokingly, "Been eating double big macs, huh?"

"Been skipping the gym, huh?"

He glanced at his arms and sighed, "…Shut up." Carly's sarcastic retort was cut off by the door flying open and Mary and Marshall sweeping in.

Marshall boomed, "Hello grasshoppers! Sensei Mary has lost her voice, so conducting the class, I shall. And since she can't stop me, dance the tango, we shall. …Alright, I can't pull off the dojo master slash Yoda anymore. Just get in your pairs and get ready!"

{}

An hour later, Marshall yelled, "TIME! Alright everyone, we have fifteen minutes to get a drink of water or…or get a drink of water. …Yeah, that's it." Mary shot him a look.

Tyler moved off to the boys' dressing room and Ruby rushed over, leaving Carly no chance to go out to get her own drink.

"So _why_ exactly did I not hear from you this week?" Carly refrained from answering truthfully. As much as she loved Ruby, the girl had a big mouth.

"I was dealing with some things."

Ruby's eyes searched her face and finally she said, "Oh, alright… Anywhos, do you want to join me, Emma, and Sarah for pizza after class?" Carly's lips began forming a 'yes' when she remembered that she actually already had plans.

"Actually Ruby, I'm getting picked up after class."

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll see you next Sunday, if I don't get a chance to talk to you later." Ruby skipped over to where a few boys were grouped in a corner.

Tyler emerged a few moments later and walked over. "How's RiverView?"

"How's home schooling?"

"Aha, I see someone isn't feeling very share-y today."

Carly stared at him and said in a dead tone, "One of my best friends' was murdered." Tyler's face went from jovial to somber in a split second.

"Elena Daniels?" She nodded. Tyler tentatively wrapped an arm around her.

"Hey, I'm sorry. That must be rough."

Carly snorted. "You have _no_ idea."

Tyler sucked in a breath. "Actually I do. My brother was killed in a car accident a few years ago." Carly folded into his one armed hug and wrapped an arm around him in return.

"Well, it seems that I'm just an insensitive bitch all the way around."

"Don't worry about it. I don't tell a lot of people, so how could you have known? And Carly? You're not a bitch. You're just mildly bitchy when I drop you in a dip or let you go flying in a spin."

"That is because you drop hard and spin fast. Remember last time you let me go flying in a spin?"

"You slammed into a door and tumbled into the boys' dressing room. Hah, good times." She playfully punched his shoulder.

"Yeah, good times. …I never needed to see Damien in a pair of Batman briefs. Never."

"Crap, Marshall's coming back. I never thought I'd say this, but I actually miss Mary's voice." They jumped up from their spot on the ground and took up their positions and waited for class to begin again.

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**A bit of a filler. But the next chapter is partially written already and I'm hoping to get it to 2000+ words! But it'll get written faster with a review...**


	21. Chapter 21

**So...it's not a 2000+ like I said it would be...sooorrrryyyy... Disclaimer: I don't own Castle**

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"Ty, if you don't let me go in five seconds, I swear to God, I'm going to bite you."

"And the great Carlini has returned to her violent nature!"

"Ty-LER!" Carly attempted to squirm out of the vice like hold Tyler had on her waist. When that proved futile, she spoke in the most menacing voice she could muster.

"One… Two… Three… Four… Don't you dare let me get to five…"

"OW! Damn, you have a strong bite."

"I _warned _you. Now let me go, dammit. My mother-" Carly stopped fighting Tyler the second the words came out. She hadn't meant to say it, but the words 'my mother' rolled off her tongue so damn easily.

Tyler loosened his arms and asked, "Your mother what?"

Carly continued clumsily, "Oh, uh, my m…mother is picking me up. Like, now. So, why don't you let me go and I won't be forced to bite you again."

"No, no! I shall hold the fair maiden captive until my ransom of twelve brownies is paid in full!"

Carly tried to escape again and when that failed, she said, "Hey Ty, I see Mary's 'special' tea."

Tyler immediately released Carly and asked excitedly, "Where?" She took that as her grand moment for escape.

"SEE YA SUCKAH!" The few kids that had been studiously ignoring them moved away from the door as to avoid being slammed into by Carly.

Tyler was in shock. First off, there was no 'special' tea anywhere in sight, and secondly, he had let his captive escape. Can anyone say 'Fail'? He dashed after Carly. As Carly entered the lobby of the building, she turned left to avoid the mass of parents awaiting their children's appearance. She was halfway to the back door when Tyler caught up to her and grabbed hold of the bottom of her shirt.

"Tyler! I really need to g-" Her words were muffled by the carpet when she tripped and brought Tyler down with her. Their laughter drew some attention from the parents in the main lobby, and a few people peered around the corner.

Mrs. Forrester asked, "Are you okay sweetie?" Tyler started to answer, but Carly dug her elbow into his ribs and shot him a look.

"She's not talking to you, idiot."

She turned back and changed her tone, "Yes, Mrs. Forrester, I'm fine."

"Alright. Have a good week!"

"You too!" After Mrs. Forrester disappeared around the corner again, Carly punched Tyler in the gut.

"_That_ is what you get for tackling me."

Tyler drew a breath dramatically and said, "My lady, I did not tackle you and I refuse to let you spread this heresy about me. Blasphemy I say, blasphemy!"

"Jesus, when did you go all puritanical on me?"

"Right about when you punched me."

"Mhmm, sure. Personally, I think you were born talking like a knight. Help me up, would you?" Tyler clambered to his feet and offered his hand.

"Of course, m'lady. May I escort thee to thy carriage as well?"

"No. And I swear, you follow me, I'll punch you again."

As Tyler pulled Carly to her feet, he muttered, "You'd think that after four years, I'd stop taking this abuse, but nooo, I just sit passively."

Carly cocked her head and raised an eyebrow.

"What was that?"

"Nothing m'lady." Once Carly was firmly planted upright, she tried to reclaim her hand from Tyler's grasp. She tugged once. Nothing. Tugged again. Nothing.

"Tyler…"

"I must escort the lovely maiden safely to her carriage."

"Ty, I have to change. And my, um, mother is probably just in the lobby."

"I must escort you. It is my duty as a knight."

"Alright, the medieval crap is getting on my nerves. Let me go so I can change and leave."

"Is it that bad of me to want to make sure you make it to your car safely?"

"Yes, yes it is. What's up with you today?"

"…Nothing. Can I at least make sure you make it to your mom safely?" Carly threw her one free hand up in the hair and sighed.

"Whatever. But you are _not_ following me into the girls' dressing room."

{}

When Carly walked out of the girls' dressing room, she wasn't surprised to see Tyler sitting on the ground a few feet away, staring at Mary's bag that was sitting in the corner.

She asked, "You weren't joking about waiting for me, were you?"

"Of course not. …Do you think that Mary's 'special' tea is in the bag?"

"I doubt it. She's probably chugging it in her car."

"True. You ready?"

"I've been ready."

As they were walking towards the door, Tyler said, "Not to be insensitive or anything, but I thought you were in foster care."

"Oh, um, yeah, I was. I was, um, transferred to a more, uh, permanent home. Let's just leave it at that, alright?"

"Sure."

When they got into the thick of the crowd, Tyler poked Carly's arm and said, "Found her." Carly stood on her tiptoes, and using Tyler as something to keep her balance, looked around.

"How? It's, like, completely packed in here."

"Well, first things first, please stop cutting off circulation to my upper arm. I'd like to be able to drive in the future. Secondly, you're a midget-"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are. You're tiny. What're you, four foot four?"

"Five foot and a quarter, thank you very much."

"Suuuure… Anyway, you're a midget and you can't see pas the people immediately in front of you. Thirdly, she looks exactly like you. And since we've known each other for four years, I'd assume that I know what _you_ look like." Carly glared at him.

"So where is she?"

"Will you let me escort you over there and talk like a knight again?"

"Whatever. Just lead the way, good sir, lead the way." Tyler smiled enthusiastically, grabbed Carly's hand, and yanked her through the crowd.

"This way fair maiden! Over yonder doth be our destination…eth."

"Ty?"

"Yes m'lady?"

"Shut up, would you? And stop pulling, you're going to make us fall again-…Oh, hi Kate. And hi, Martha and Alexis. Look Ty, you almost made us crash into them."

She dropped his hand and smiled with false sweetness at Tyler, who shot back, "The key word is _almost_, Carly. Al. Most."

She elbowed him and said, "I'll see you next week, alright?"

"I see. The fair maiden doth detest a poor knave such as…I have no idea what I'm saying. See ya, Carly." He mock saluted and Carly turned away from his retreating figure.

Martha asked playfully, "So, who's he?"

Carly's eyes widened and she glanced back quickly and then answered, "Oh, um, he's just my dance partner. So, uh, are we going?"

* * *

**So...it's, like, NO where near 2000. I feel pretty bad now. But, a shorter chapter means that the next chapter has some of it written. And the rest of it will be written faster if I recieve reviews... :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**This chapter is pretty tiny. Sorry! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"So, Carly, how long have you been dancing?" Carly looked up from her salad to see Martha watching her expectantly.

"Oh, um, I've been ballroom dancing for four years and I was in ballet for a few years before that."

"And how long has Tyler had a crush on you?" Carly choked on the mushroom that she had just taken a bite of.

Alexis exclaimed, "Grams!"

"Well, it's obvious that the boy is smitten."

Carly swallowed and said, "Tyler doesn't have a crush on me. We're just dance partners."

Kate chimed in, "Rick and I were just partners, and look where that lead."

"Yeah, but-"

Alexis put in her two cents, "My boyfriend, Ashley and I were lab partners in the beginning."

"But-"

Martha cut her off, "And Richard's father and I were in a two man show."

Carly finally threw up her hands and said, "We're dance partners! Dance. Partners." The three women smiled bemusedly, in a _You'll See_ fashion.

Carly said hastily, "Alright, can we move conversation away from Ty and me? …Please?" The conversation eventually shifted to an internship Alexis had been offered at a counseling clinic. Carly actually paid attention, and actually talked. She took a bite of her salad. There was a sweet note in it, one that should not have been in a garden salad, but Carly disregarded it. After a few minutes, her chest felt a little tight and it got a little harder for her to breathe.

Alexis asked her, "What's your Modern Justice class like?"

Carly tried to respond, but it was getting harder for her to breathe. It felt like her throat was caving in on itself. Her mouth felt like it was on fire. Her hands were itching. _Oh crap_, she thought. Well, she knew what that sweet taste was.

Kate asked worriedly, "Carly? Are you okay?"

Her breathing got shallower and shallower as she choked out, "Ki…wi."

Her vision was starting to go fuzzy on the perimeter. Kate gasped (it seemed that she realized what Carly had meant) and Martha and Alexis looked to her for explanation. Finally, she couldn't even take a breath anymore. Black overtook her sight.

* * *

Carly slumped in her seat and Kate had never been more scared. She had faced bullets, serial killers, psychos, her own mother's killer, but she had never been faced with an enemy she couldn't fight.

"Alexis, call 911." Her command came out hoarse, but effective nonetheless. Alexis whipped out her cell phone and punched in the number.

Martha asked, "Kate, what happened to Carly?"

"Allergic reaction." A few fellow patrons looked to see what was going on.

Kate could vaguely hear Alexis say, "I need an ambulance at Marly's Diner on High Street. …My step-sister is having a severe allergic reaction."

* * *

**'More suspense?' you ask. Yes, yes indeedy. More suspense, courtesy of moi! Man, I'm kind of a horrible person. Anyway, the next chapter shall be up relatively soon, but it'll be sooner with a review!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Alright, so I promise, I didn't kill her off. Nor did I really do any damage to her. :D Anyway, here's the long awaited twenty-third chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

When Carly woke up, the first thing she noticed was that she had a tube jammed down her throat. And up her nose. And it was rather uncomfortable. The second thing she noticed was the IV that had been stabbed into her arm. Leave it to her to pass out and wake up in a hospital. And finally, the third thing she noticed was that there were four people crammed into the tiny hospital room, all looking rather relieved that she was conscious.

It took a while for Carly to register who they were, but she was used to the fugue of confusion that always followed one of her little 'episodes'. She finally figured out who was who and tried to say something, but the tube that had been jammed down her throat (probably put there during the time she had been passed out) inhibited such a thing. So instead, she was forced to make idiotic hand gestures that probably made no sense whatsoever, but somehow conveyed the fact that she needed something to communicate with.

Rick presented with a flourish a miniature whiteboard and a bright purple pen.

He handed it to her carefully and asked, "How're you feeling?"

Carly scrawled, _Horrible. Thanks for the whiteboard. _

She whipped it around for them to read and Rick said, "You're very welcome."

Carly paused for a moment and then wrote, _What exactly happened to me? _

Kate asked, "How much do you remember?"

Carly fought through the wave of confusion that had settled upon her once more and thought back.

Finally she wrote, _I took a bite of salad that had a kiwi in it and I stopped breathing. And then I woke up here. Anyone care to fill in the blank?_ She turned the board around for everyone to read and waited for an explanation.

Kate started to speak, when a nurse bustled in and said, "Excuse me, but I just need to check on her vitals."

While the nurse made notes on a clipboard, Carly hurriedly wrote, _Can I get this tube out of my throat?_

She tapped the nurse's shoulder and showed it to her.

The nurse looked at her with sympathy and said, "I'm sorry sweetie, but the doc wants you to have assisted breathing just for a little while longer. I'm sure you'll be tube free in an hour or so."

Carly had to restrain herself from throwing a mini-tantrum. The last time she went into anaphylactic shock, no one shoved a tube down her throat. No, they just stabbed her with a giant shot of epinephrine. Needles, she's fine with them. But not being able to talk? When she actually wanted to talk? She was about to lose it.

After the nurse stepped back out, Carly tried to groan. Unfortunately, the tube also inhibited groaning. So Carly just flopped back onto her bed and made a face at the ceiling.

She propped herself back up and grabbed the pen and scrawled, _Please continue, Kate._

She turned it around and let them all read and then Kate said, "After you passed out, Alexis called an ambulance-"

"And Dad said all that texting I do would never come in handy."

"And since this hospital is just around the corner from the diner, the paramedics got there almost immediately. And then you went into shock. The EMTs gave you a shot of epinephrine, but you still weren't breathing, so that's when the tube went in." Carly looked down cross-eyed at the tube.

Kate continued, "When you got here, the doctor administered another dose of epinephrine and a sedative, which is why you've been in and out of consciousness for a few hours. The swelling in your throat went down a little while ago, which is when they stopped the sedative, which is why you're now awake."

Carly hesitated and then wrote, _WOW. That's never happened before. _

Alexis asked, "You've had this reaction before?"

She wrote, _A couple of times._

"Wouldn't you have an EpiPen?"

Carly pursed her lips and wrote, _I had one, but one of my foster brothers decided that it would be better suited being flushed down the toilet. Or, half of it, that is. The other half went into the garbage disposal. _

Kate opened her mouth to say something when a doctor stepped in and said, "Glad to see you're up, Caroline."

Carly glared at him and wrote, _It's C A R L Y._ The doctor ignored her and checked the chart at the end of her bed.

He said, "Alright. The swelling of your windpipe went down enough, so we'll be taking you off assisted breathing in a few minutes, and then I'll write you a prescription for _another_ EpiPen, and you'll be on your way!" He gave her a fake smile and left the room before she could chuck the whiteboard at his head.

Martha commented, "Well, he was condescending." Carly nodded her agreement.

{}

A half hour later, Carly was being rolled out in a wheelchair because some orderly thought she wasn't capable of walking herself out of the hospital lobby. Her ears were burning from embarrassment. There were old people that were able to walk around without assistance, but nooo, she, a perfectly capable fourteen year old, was being wheeled out. As soon as they cleared the door, Carly all but launched herself out of the wheelchair. Alexis, who had volunteered to walk down with Carly while everyone else got into the car, chatted with her while they waited.

"…Why, exactly, did one of your foster brothers destroy your EpiPen?" Carly's response was hoarse and quiet, but somewhat understandable.

"He thought it was a toy. He _was_ only five."

"How old were you?"

"Ten."

"So you've been going without one and just hoping for the best for three years?"

"…Yeah, I guess so. But it's not like I have a ton of allergies, or anything."

"But, still."

"Yeah, I know. I've been pretty lucky, though. I've only had two other attacks. Or reactions. Or whatever they're supposed to be called."

* * *

The rest of the day was spent in the loft, making plans for the next day. Rick had apparently been stewing on the fact that Carly had never played laser tag before, so he suggested breaking out the old gear he had packed up in the hall closet.

Martha claimed the right to be referee and Alexis offered Carly, "Wanna be on my team?"

Carly nodded and told her, "I'll be a complete liability, just to warn you."

"Nah, I'm sure you'll catch on quickly." She lowered her voice to a whisper.

"And if we're losing, just tell Dad that he has a spider on him. He'll freak out and probably shoot himself."

* * *

Carly stared up at the ceiling. She had been lying awake for hours, just thinking about what had happened earlier that day. That was the closest she had come to death in a long time, and it scared the shit out of her. She hated to sound cheesy, but she swore that she had almost-maybe-kind-of seen Henry and Mama smiling at her through the darkness, right before she passed out. Really, that had unnerved her the most.

Carly moved to her side. She _really_ wanted to smoke. But she had made a promise to quit, and she prided herself on her ability to keep promises. So, instead, she rolled out of bed and went to her duffel bag. At the very bottom was a book, one of the only books she had kept from her old house, and she pulled it out gently. After staring at the cover in awe for a bit, as she always did, she tiptoed out.

Downstairs, she clicked on a table lamp and cracked open the book, Little Women. For a few moments, she lost herself in the scent of the pages. If she concentrated really hard, she could almost smell Mama's perfume. But it was probably just her imagination creating things that she so desperately wanted back. She could feel tears stinging her eyes and she blinked to clear them away. After she composed herself, she lost herself in the pages, and pretended that she was young again.

In a reclusive part of her mind, she could hear Mama's voice saying, "'Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents,' grumbled Jo, lying on the rug."

* * *

**Review because I'd love to hear what you think!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Another short chapter. Sorry! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. But I own Carly and Tyler, so it's all good.**

* * *

An hour later, Carly closed Little Women. She would have read more, but she was crying to hard and wasn't really able to see the words anymore. It was still dark outside, and Carly got the feeling it was about one in the morning. She decided it was time to get some sleep, so she got off the couch and ascended the stairs as quietly as she could.

Back in her room, she carefully buried the book underneath a layer or two of clothing and whispered, "Goodnight, Mama." She flicked out the light and crawled into bed.

* * *

"_Caroline, why did you have to get that stupid pink bike? Now I'm gonna have to take you out riding and my friends might see." _

_"Mama, Henry's bein' mean." _

_"Henry, stop making fun of your sister. Care-bear, I think your bike is just amazin'." _

_Mama turns and gives Henry a pointed stare while they're at a red light and waits until Henry tells Caroline, "I'm sorry. Your bike is awesome and I'll be proud to show you and your bike off." _

_Caroline nods and says, "Mama, the light is green." Mama turns back around and hits the gas. _

_They're halfway through the intersection when Henry yells, "MAMA!" __A streak of red hurtles towards them and Caroline's world explodes._

* * *

Carly shot up in bed, a scream caught in her throat. It took her a moment to remember that she was not in a car wreck, nor was she five, but that she was safe and relatively healthy in a nice room in a nice apartment in a nice part of town.

Henry's face as he yelled, "MAMA!" was burned into her mind, and when she closed her eyes to try and clear her head, it was all she saw. She opened her eyes. Maybe reading that book wasn't the smartest choice, she thought. She glanced at the clock. It was four-forty-seven in the morning, and there was no way in hell she was getting back to sleep.

She pressed her hands to her face to try and calm her breathing, and felt the wet coolness of tears. She shouldn't have been surprised. She always cried during that particular nightmare. She lay back down and pressed her face into a pillow, but it felt too much like an allergy reaction, so she turned to her back. After a few minutes, she got up again. This time, she tiptoed downstairs and flipped on the TV. She found a classic movie channel and got drawn into Cleopatra. She let herself be lost in the extravagance and for a moment, she could forget everything.

* * *

Carly woke up to someone gently shaking her awake.

Her eyes fluttered open and she mumbled, "G'morning Kate."

She slowly sat up and Kate said, "Good morning Carly. Have you been down here all night?"

"Hm? No, I just came down around five-ish. Couldn't sleep."

Kate watched her with concern and asked, "Are you feeling okay?"

Carly yawned and answered after a few moments, "Yeah, I'm feeling fine. Why?"

"Well, this is, what, the third time you couldn't sleep?"

"I guess I can add insomnia to my list of psychological issues. …Don't worry about it, it happens to me all the time."

Kate sat down next to her and asked, "So, what's on?" Carly glanced at the screen. "I think it's Fiddler on the Roof, but I can't be sure."

"You like classic movies?"

"Eh, depends on which one. Some I just watch because the acting is so overdone. It's always entertaining." They fell into a comfortable silence as they watched the story unfold.

* * *

**Ah! I know it's short, but it's the best I could do for today. It's almost two a.m. here and I have a world geography test tomorrow and...you know what? Nevermind. But I hope to update relatively soon. I'd love a review though!**


	25. Chapter 25

**This chapter jumps around a bit, but otherwise, I'm proud. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"Alright, I'm officially avoiding lasers for, like, the _rest_ of my life. Which won't be very long if I continue wearing this vest." Carly flopped onto the couch with a dramatic sigh and started to undo the Velcro buckles of her laser tag vest.

Alexis sat in an armchair and said, "You weren't _that _bad."

Carly paused and raised an eyebrow. "I shot myself. _Twice_. How is that not bad? And why is it so quiet? When it's quiet in horror movies, people die."

Alexis glanced around and commented, "It is pretty quiet. Dad's probably hiding under his desk, thinking that we're still 'after' him and Kate is…I actually have no idea where Kate is." Carly continued to fight with her vest, until she heard the floor creak. She froze and then grabbed her laser.

"You know, I think I'm gonna hang onto this for just a little while longer."

Kate appeared from nowhere and said, "Don't worry, I come in peace. And Alexis, last I checked, your dad had vacated his 'safe zone'."

Alexis groaned and said, "Oh great, he's probably gone into rogue agent mode. Carly, I'd suggest keeping your laser with you for the next few hours."

Carly's eyes widened comically and she asked, "So what happens now?"

Alexis answered, "Well, when Dad goes off like he's James Bond, Kate and I usually either play a board game or watch a movie until he finally gives up or get himself shot."

"And how long does that usually take?"

"We've managed to play three consecutive games of Monopoly before."

"Oh. Wow. Excuse me while I kill myself now. Seriously though, three games in a row? How is that even possible without going insane?"

Kate sat down next to her and said, "Lots and lots of patience."

It fell silent for a moment and Carly said, "Now in a horror movie, this is right about when-"

Her sentence was cut off when Rick jumped out from virtually thin air and yelled, "Feel my laser-y wrath!" Carly yelped, spazzed out, and fell off the couch in a jumble of limbs. Alexis, to her credit, calmly picked up her laser gun and shot in her father's general direction.

It managed to hit him and he yelled dramatically, "I've been hit! And by my own flesh and blood! Oh the agony!" He 'limped' off and Carly clambered back up with her vest blinking.

She glanced down and said, "And I _still _managed to shoot myself!"

* * *

It was Carly's first day back to school since Elena's death and she was getting tired of all the weird looks people were giving her. She, Hannah, Penelope, and Fiona shared many classes, so they had been roaming the halls clumped together, finally believing in that old wives saying, 'Strength in numbers', but even that didn't really cushion the blow. In every hall, around every corner stood a memorial to Elena, always including a picture of her from the talent show's official roster, and in all honesty, made Carly's day much harder than it already was.

During lunch, one particularly nasty classmate named Gretchen stalked over to where the quartet was studying in the outdoors for the English test that they'd managed to 'forget' about. Gretchen had attempted to steal Elena's spot on student council, in the talent shows, actually, she had tried to steal Elena's place in just about everything.

Gretchen sneered, "So I guess without your leader, you're not so badass anymore."

Fiona growled, "Shut up, Gretchen. Any one of us can still kick your ass."

Gretchen turned on Carly specifically and said, "Oh, but wouldn't your mommy be all annoyed? Seeing as she's a cop and whatnot." Carly could feel the questioning looks from her friends, but she kept her attention on Gretchen.

"How the hell do you know anything about me?"

"I do my research."

"Well, what the fuck ever, I don't have time for this." Carly started to gather her things and leave, when Gretchen stepped in front of her.

"What, without Elena you're not so tough? Did you need her to fight your battles for you? I'm sure you could always just call mommy dearest, and she could come and take care of everything for you." Carly dropped her books abruptly and took a step forward so that she was right in Gretchen's face.

"You'd better just shut the hell up or I'll show you how easily I can fight my own battles."

Hannah said nervously, "Carly…? Maybe you shouldn't be doing this."

Gretchen goaded, "Yeah, Carly. Listen to your friend. You shouldn't mess with me now. Now, you're just a bitch with no one to hide behind." Something in Carly snapped. She pulled back her fist swiftly and slammed it into Gretchen's plastic little nose. And then, all hell broke loose.

At RiverView, it was extremely rare to see a fight break out, even rarer for a girl fight to start, so almost immediately they were in the middle of an impromptu fight ring.

For some strange reason, time always seemed to slow when in the middle of a fight. And for Carly, who was evenly matched against Gretchen, that wasn't exactly the best thing. While Gretchen had height on her side, Carly had speed and flexibility, which she was planning on using to their utmost power.

Gretchen shoved her and hissed, "Think you're so strong?"

She shoved Carly again and continued, "Who's gonna save you now, Carly?" Gretchen punched her in the mouth and Carly felt a burst of pain. Either a tooth had just broken or her wisdom teeth had just been forcibly removed. Carly was the one to throw the next punch. And the next one, and the one after that, and the one after that.

Carly punched Gretchen one last time for good measure and growled, "I save myself." She whipped around to leave and clean herself up and inspect the damage that had been inflicted on her teeth (her dentist was _not_ going to be happy), when she had to stop short because of the fact that Ms. Cherie now stood right in front of her, arms crossed, and a disappointed look on her face.

"Gretchen, Carly, my office. Now."

* * *

Gretchen and Carly glared at each other from opposite sides of the room, each nursing their own wounds with bags of frozen vegetables (although, in all honesty, Carly had gotten the short end of the stick with bruises, a split lip, cuts, and a suspected broken thumb), when Gretchen's mother, Mrs. Reynolds, stalked in. She sent a cold glare at Carly and sat next to her daughter and asked the usual questions.

_What happened? Where does it hurt, baby? Did that little brat mess up your nose job? _

Actually, Mrs. Reynolds didn't ask that particular question, but Carly was certain that once there was no one else around, it would be the first thing asked. Carly shifted one of her bags of frozen peas from her hand to her shoulder.

She hoped that Ms. Cherie would take pity on her and refrain from calling Kate or Rick or anyone for that matter. Carly Hayes was not one to lose her composure, but every once in a while… And, well, when that happened, she was usually to ashamed to admit it, even to herself. Finally, Ms. Cherie slammed open the door.

"Gretchen, get in here." Gretchen and Mrs. Reynolds stalked in and sent identical haughty looks over their shoulders at Carly.

Carly muttered, "And we wonder why she's so screwed up…"

* * *

**So here's the newest chapter! The next one should be up tomorrow or the day after that, hopefully. :) Anyway, reviews would be lovely...**


	26. Chapter 26

**I'm sorry! I meant to update earlier, but time got away from me. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"Carly, come in here."

Gretchen and her mother waltzed out and Gretchen whispered as she passed Carly, "Good luck. You're going to need it." Carly clenched her hands into fists to stop herself from slapping Gretchen.

In Ms. Cherie's office, she sat down hesitantly in the 'you're in so much trouble, you don't get a comfortable chair' chair.

Ms. Cherie laced her fingers and observed Carly and then said, "I'm very disappointed in you, Carly. I'm going to have to call your foster parents."

Carly looked down at her hands and said, "I know."

"And I'm going to have to suspend you." "I know."

"What in the world possessed you to do this?"

"I don't know, Ms. Cherie."

Ms. Cherie sighed in frustration and said, "You'll be suspended for five days, including today."

"Yes'm."

"Alright. Please go and wait in the hall." Carly nodded and slipped back out. Carly sat back down and arranged her now melting vegetable bags on her various wounds and groaned.

* * *

Ten minutes and one thumb splint later, it was not Kate that rounded the corner of the hallway, like Carly had feared, but Rick instead. He went straight into Ms. Cherie's office and Carly braced herself for the worst. She hadn't really interacted with her mother's husband much (would that make him her step-father? She hadn't really thought too much about it), so she had no idea of how to predict his reaction. She spent twelve torturous minutes fiddling with her bag and biting her nails down to the quick and counting the cracks in the ceiling.

Finally, the door opened again.

Rick came out first, followed by Ms. Cherie who was saying, "I hope that the next time you're here, it's under better circumstances." Cue the pointed glance at Carly.

Ms. Cherie said, "I expect better of you, Carly."

She retreated back into her office and as soon as the door closed, Rick asked, "Do you need help with your bag?" Carly regarded him carefully, because let's face it, just about anyone else would have either been at her throat about this or would have just bypassed her. She finally nodded and handed him her backpack slowly, trying to not hurt her shoulder any more than she had to.

They walked to the car in silence and Carly studiously ignored the curious looks of her peers. Well, they weren't really looking at her. They were staring past her, looking at the famous author that was carrying her backpack (which had the words 'Sexy Beast' scrawled on it, courtesy of Elena, which only added to the comical effect).

Once safely behind the tinted windows, Carly flipped down the overhead mirror to fully inspect the damage inflicted on her lip. She knew that it looked worse than it was, but damn, did it look bad. She also had a black eye forming, along with a gi-freaking-normous bruise along her left cheekbone and a smaller but still big bruise on her chin. All in all, no worse than she'd had before.

She flipped the mirror back up and fiddled with her thumb splint, wincing when she accidentally wrenched it, not that that stopped her from fiddling with it some more. Can anyone say masochist?

Finally, Rick asked in a kind voice, "Do you want to talk about what happened?" Carly glanced at him and back down at her bandaged thumb.

"A girl got in my face and said that I needed someone else to fight my battles, so I punched her and she punched back. That's it."

"Your principal didn't think so. Carly, you've never gotten into a fight in your entire academic history."

Carly snorted and muttered, "Not that they know of, anyway." Rick waited patiently and finally Carly said, "She dealt a low blow and brought Elena into it and I gave her fair warning, but she just kept talking and..." Rick nodded. Carly was slightly surprised at his reaction. She had figured there'd be a lecture involved, at the very least.

She asked, "Aren't you going to yell at me?"

He answered with a question, "You were defending yourself, weren't you?"

Carly nodded.

"Then I don't think that that warrants yelling. …So, did you win?"

* * *

"You put your _school_ up for sale?" Carly had been quite surprised when Rick hadn't lectured, yelled, or driven in a stony silence, but she was even more surprised at the direction the conversation had gone. They had gone from winning a fight to who would win in a fight between Chewbacca and Spock to any and all pranks they had pulled.

Carly answered "Mhmm. The teachers are still completely stumped."

Rick tutted, "Tsk, tsk, tsk, Carly. …Did anyone make an offer?"

Carly nodded and said, "Some guy from Jersey offered forty seven dollars and thirteen cents. …I almost took the offer."

"Oh man, I wish I had thought to do that when I was in school. I might've been able to escape that Catholic school faster."

A few minutes later, he pulled into the precinct parking lot and said, "We're here."

Carly glanced at the building and groaned, "Really? I thought I was being taken back to the loft so I could 'think' about what I did."

Rick pulled the keys out of the ignition and sighed, "Carly, you need to tell your m…" He trailed off in response to the glare she sent his way. He started again, "You need to tell Kate about your fight, face to face. I don't know if you know this or not, but you look scarily like her when you glare like that."

Carly immediately wiped her face clear and said, "Alright. I guess it's time to face the music."

* * *

**Hmph. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I mean, I felt pretty bad because it's a _Castle_ story and there's been barely an _Castle_ in it, but...I don't know. But maybe you do. Enlighten me with a review, please!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Sorry that it's been a while, but I've been swamped with end of the year work and all that. Anywhos...Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

The second that Carly stepped off the elevator, she was struck with the intense urge to turn right around and hightail it down the stairs. Unfortunately, there were several desks, a fax machine, and a few people that would hinder such an escape. So, instead of utilizing the rather dramatic escape she was planning in the sanctuary of her mind, she followed Rick, looking down at her feet to avoid letting her face be seen too much.

When they reached Kate's desk, Carly tucked her broken thumb behind her back. Kate looked up from her computer and smiled at her husband, and then noticed Carly.

"Carly…?" Carly looked up from the ground and let Kate get a look at her face. "Oh, my God, Carly. What happened?"

* * *

"…and Gretchen shoved me, so I punched her…a few times, and then Ms. Cherie 'invited' us down to her office, where she proceeded to assign five days suspension to me, and a whopping three days detention to Gretchen. …Not that I was listening outside her door or anything."

Carly sighed and sat back in her chair and started messing with her thumb splint, yet again, keeping her attention on her hands, and away from what was most likely an angry look from Kate. For Carly, being yelled at was so much easier when you treated the person who was yelling like an angry dog. No eye contact, no confrontation. She could retaliate later. A few moments passed.

Finally, Kate said, "Do you need some ice for you lip?" Carly snapped her head up in surprise. There was no longwinded speech about how violence is bad and should never be used. Nothing had been hurled in the direction of her head. There had been no threats to send her off to the all-girl boarding school in upstate Massachusetts.

"Um, yeah. Ice would be good." Kate got up, opened the freezer portion of the fridge in the break room, and handed a handful of ice wrapped in a paper towel to Carly, who accepted it gratefully.

After a few moments of enjoying the relief the ice brought, Carly asked, "So you're not furious? You're not about to send me off to some military school?"

Kate sat down next to Carly and said, "I can't say I love the fact that you got in a fight, but you stood up for yourself. And no, you're not getting shipped off anywhere. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me."

* * *

"Do you need any more ice?"

Carly paused in rearranging her various icepacks and answered Kate, "No, I'm good." Kate walked out of the kitchen and joined her husband and daughter on the couch.

Rick asked happily, "So, what movie shall we watch? We've got Thor, Clash of the Titans, every Star Wars movie known to man, all three Lord of the Ring movies, Harry Potter 1-8…" Kate gestured for Carly to choose.

Carly readjusted the ice she had on her lip and said, "Thor, definitely Thor."

* * *

Carly opened her eyes groggily and immediately wished she was sleeping again. Her head was killing her, her eye hurt like hell, as did her lip, cheek, and chin. Her thumb was throbbing with a dull ache and to top it all off, she felt like someone had used a jackhammer on her shoulder. But other than that, she felt warm and safe and taken care of, three things that she had not felt in a long time. Some other movie was playing on the television and she noticed that Kate and Rick had migrated to the other end of the couch to give her room to lie down.

Kate glanced over at her and said, "Glad to see you're among the living."

Carly slowly pulled herself up into a sitting position and asked, "How long have I been sleeping?"

"An hour or so. How're you feeling?"

"Like I got in a fight. Is it okay if I just go upstairs and sleep some more?"

Kate nodded and said, "If you need anything, we're just down here." Carly nodded and made her way up the stairs.

In her room, she collapsed gratefully onto her bed and closed her eyes once more, hoping that sleep would dull her various aches and pains.

* * *

"_CAROLINE JOHANNA HAYES, GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE THIS INSTANT." _

"_Ye-yes Daddy?" _

_His voice becomes mocking. "Ye-yes Daddy?" It switches back to his normal tone. "You're pathetic, that's what you are. You're pathetic and weak and I'm so grateful that you aren't mine by blood. I pity the poor woman that had to carry you for nine months. Want to know what, Caroline?" _

_She drops her head. "Why Daddy?"_

"_Because she'll have to live with the fact that she gave birth to you every day of her life. She hated you, but she was lucky enough to get rid of you. And then I get stuck with you." _

"_Bu-but Mama said I'm perfect." _

_**Smack**__._

_Her cheek stings from where he's just slapped it. "Don't you dare talk about Charlotte May. She ain't your mama. She's Henry's mama. Your mama didn't want you."_

"_Henry's dead, Daddy. Mama's dead too." _

"_It's your fault, you pathetic little bastard. You killed my wife and my son!" He lunges for her, hands reaching for her neck._

* * *

Carly shot up, sobs racking her body. Her door flew open, and Kate and Rick rushed in.

Carly gasped out between each jagged breath, "He wanted me dead. He wished I was dead, they left me with him. Why did they just leave me with him?" Rick flipped on a light switch and Kate sat down next to Carly and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Carly, Carly breathe. Calm down, it was just a nightmare."

Carly choked out, "He hated me. He always hated me, but he…he…"

"He what, Carly?"

"He said that you hated me. He said that I was a pathetic bastard. Why'd they leave me with him?" Carly collapsed onto Kate's shoulder, sobbing her heart out, and Kate wrapped her arms around her, rocking her in an attempt to soothe her.

Rick sat down on the other side of Carly, and when her sobs subsided into soft sniffles, he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?" Carly detached herself from Kate's arms and wiped her face, wincing when she touched her bruises.

Carly finally said, "Daddy…he, he was drunk. Really drunk. He said that I killed Mama, that I killed Henry. He said that I was pathetic and unwanted and…and…" Carly collapsed into sobs once more.

* * *

**HOLY CRAP. DID YOU SEE THE SEASON FINALE. For those of you that didn't, don't worry, I won't say anything. But for those of you that did, HOLY CRAPSKIES. I'm just about having an aneurysm over it. But, before I get carried away and say something that'll ruin it for the rest of you, I'll shut up. But first, review please!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Alright, new chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"…and after he said that I killed Mama and Henry, he tried to ch-choke me. He wanted to kill me." Carly kept her eyes on her cup of tea. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the old terror that the nightmare dragged back up to the surface. Either way, Carly had somehow been coaxed into talking about said nightmare. And it was _not_ a topic that she enjoyed talking about. To anyone. Including her psychiatrist, who would have been nice enough to prescribe a sleep aid and some anti-anxiety pills. Oh, the relief a sleep aid would bring…

When she looked up, she saw the impact that her words had made. Kate had a hand over her mouth and Rick looked shell-shocked, like he couldn't believe a parent would treat their child that way. Carly took a gulp of tea, relishing in the heat as it slid down her throat. She swore she could still almost feel fingers tightening around her neck. After she shook off the feeling, the barrier that she usually set up between her mind and her mouth failed once more.

"It's not like that's the worst thing he's done, though. I mean, it sucked and all, but he's gotten a lot closer to killing me than strangulation." Almost immediately, she regretted those words.

Kate dropped her hand from her mouth and said, "Oh, my God, Carly. What worse thing could he have done?"

Carly answered without thinking, "He shot me. Twice. Once in the stomach when he was drunk and once in the arm when he was mostly sober." Carly was just about to dump her tea on herself, just to get herself to shut the hell up. Of all the times to be little miss Chatty Kathy. The silence that followed her little statement was almost deafening. Carly fiddled with her thumb splint nervously.

Something about that night had unnerved her. It had surprised her and left her unprepared for the aftermath, because seriously, she hadn't had that nightmare for months and the last time she had…well, what happened after wasn't exactly something she wanted to think about. She took a tiny sip of her tea, just for something to do other than make her thumb hurt more than it already did.

"Oh, Carly." Kate's words were not an apology (what she would have to be apologizing for, Carly didn't know), nor were they a request for further explanation. They were simply an acknowledgment of what Carly had been through, and for Carly, that's all she ever really wanted from anyone.

"Did you ever tell anyone?" Rick's question shocked Carly a little.

She answered quietly, "No one cared enough to ask, so I figured, why should I even try? I mean, if I told, it'd only get worse. He'd have probably shot me and just left me there without calling the ambulance and feeding the paramedics some half-assed story about me messing with his pistol." Carly spoke matter-of-factly, knowing that if she let any emotion leak, she'd lose it completely again. And one meltdown a night was more than enough for her. In fact, one meltdown a year was a little too much. Her psychiatrist always attributed this to her 'need for control', as he put it.

Carly's head started to pound again and she became acutely aware of the fact that her eye was abso-freaking-lutely killing her. She looked up from her hands and saw that her last words had left the pair sitting across from her basically speechless. Or maybe it had been the delivery of said words that had robbed them of their ability to speak. Funny, but the last time she had given the mostly complete story, the person she was talking to couldn't stop talking. This time, they couldn't start. Carly could swear that she heard crickets.

Finally Kate said, "I'm so, so sorry, Carly. I just…I thought that…"

She trailed off and Carly said, "Yeah, I know."

* * *

Carly's suspension passed quickly, seeing as she spent the days at the loft watching Star Wars and George Lopez reruns with Rick, who was actually pretty good company. The weekend came before she knew it and on Sunday morning, she was chatting with Ruby outside the dance studio, waiting for Mary and Marshall to open up the doors. Tyler came up from behind her and picked her up, causing her to shriek and flail around in a sad attempt to slap him or s_omething_.

Finally, Ty's arms seemed to lose some strength and he had to set her back down on the ground.

Ruby watched the duo with a bemused look on her face and said, "I'll see you at break, Carly." She floated off and Carly whipped around to face Ty, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Tyler, what did I say about lifting me?" Tyler gave her an impish smile by way of answer.

"That's what I thought."

They stood in a comfortable silence for a little while, watching people (their favorite activity), and then Ty pointed to somewhere in the back of the lobby and said, "Those two. They've been married for years. She's a…a teacher and he's a…what do you think?" Carly followed his line of vision and saw a couple that looked to be in their early fifties. The woman was a maternal looking woman, dressed in a simple gray shift dress, most likely a kindergarten teacher. The man had a kind, weathered face and was wearing a suit that looked like it belonged in a fifties sitcom.

Carly answered, "He's a veteran. Now he's probably a…a counselor of some sort."

Tyler asked, "How'd you get veteran?"

Carly said, "Look at how he's standing. That's a soldier's stance, no civilian would stand that straight normally. And his hand? It's a prosthetic. His original one was probably blown up or something." Tyler squinted his eyes.

"Well I'll be damned. It is a prosthetic."

Carly grinned cheekily and said, "Told ya."

"Yeah, yeah. …Guess what!" Carly groaned. Whenever Tyler said those two words, it always meant that she'd actually have to guess.

"A meteor is headed towards Earth? No, wait, your older sister actually got into college."

"Haha, and no. To both. I don't get why, but Jackie seems to think that a D- is passing. Oi. Anyway, I was walking down past that art studio over by NYU. You know the one, right? Of course you do, you take classes there. Anyway, I was walking past and they had the roster up for the artists that are being featured in the show in March and under 'Up and Coming', guess who was listed? No, wait, don't guess. We all know how long that takes."

Carly cut him off with a punch to the shoulder.

"Ow! Hurtful… But, as I was saying, I was just scanning the list and I stumbled upon Caroline Johanna Hayes. Three of your pieces are listed." Carly went from listening in interest to listening in disbelief.

"What. The. Hell?" Before Tyler was able to answer Carly, Mary and Marshall swept into the lobby.

* * *

**So, I'm not sure how I much I love this chapter. But I wrote it while I was in a daze. I mean seriously, DID YOU SEE THE BONES SEASON FINALE? HOLY SHMOKES. I, like, totally called it. Seriously, I bet my mother that that was what would happen, but she didn't believe me, but I was like, SHYAA! Anywhos, please review!**


	29. Chapter 29

**New chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"Explain Ty."

"I don't think that now is a great time, Carlini."

Carly glared at him in response to his nickname for her and in the process of doing so, lost her concentration. She missed a step and stumbled. Tyler caught her before she managed to hit the ground and his quick actions softened her slightly.

They began the dance again and Carly said, "Seriously Tyler, could you elaborate on the topic a little? I mean, you can't just drop a bomb on my head like that. Did the roster say what pieces were being shown? And how the hell do you know my full name?"

Tyler grinned impishly and answered, "I have my sources. …Seriously, I have sources. Ruby told me."

Carly made an effort to step on his toes, but missed by an inch. Tyler exclaimed, "Oi! Watch what you step on, I have a soccer game tomorrow afternoon."

Carly hissed, "I'm going to step on something much more important than your toes if you don't answer my damn questions."

"Alright, alright. Sheesh, someone didn't get her daily caffeine IV drip." He hurried to continue when Carly narrowed her eyes.

"The first piece was called, um, I think it was called 'Mentos Morty'."

Carly corrected him, "Momento Mori. It's Latin. But good try."

He rolled his eyes and continued. "The second one was 'Ricordi, Tavolo per Uno'. I think that's Spanish, right?"

"Italian."

"Details, details."

Carly was about to snap back at him, but Mary called over to them, "I hope you two are discussing ways to improve your form!" They took the not so subtle hint and straightened their backs and lifted their elbows.

"Thank you!" Carly shot a charming smile over at Mary and a poisonous glare at Tyler when she turned back to face him.

Tyler said, "The third was called 'Jolie Laide'. French, right?"

Carly forgave him a little and murmured, "Mhmm." Tyler raised his eyebrows quizzically, as if using them to question her about her lack of enthusiasm, and in doing so, made them almost disappear into his just-a-little-too-long hair. Carly reclaimed her hand from his long enough to push his bangs out of his eyes.

They clasped hands again and she commented, "God, when are you gonna get another haircut? Gettin' a little scruffy there."

He rolled his eyes and said, "My mom is gonna chop it all off next month."

"Why not this weekend?"

"My little sister has the flu so whenever Mom has free time; she's holding back Angie's hair while she pukes."

"Oh. Gross."

"I know. …So why the long face about the art show?" Carly opened her mouth to speak, but paused as they moved past Mary and Marshall.

When they were safely out of earshot, she said, "Those pieces were meant for my eyes only."

"Then withdraw them."

"It's not that simple, Ty."

"It seems like it is."

"Well, you know what Tyler?"

"What, Carly?"

"You're a… God, whatever. Can we just not talk about my impending social embarrassment?"

Tyler watched Carly carefully and asked, "What happened? Did your new fosters hit you?" Carly resisted the urge to laugh. After Kate and Rick's reactions to her nightmare, she didn't think they were capable of doing anything much worse than a long winded lecture. Either way, she appreciated Tyler's concern.

"No, they didn't hit me."

His mouth opened and she cut him off, "Nor did they kick me, punch me, slap me, pull my hair, shove me down stairs, hit me with any heavy or light object, burn me, knife me, pour ammonia on me, or perform any other form of abuse. I'm just not looking forward to having my stuff in a show, alright?"

He nodded slowly, but she could see the worry in his eyes. Tyler was one of the few people that knew her whole story, and she felt guilty for putting him through that. But she couldn't fix the past, something that she knew all too well.

They danced in silence and finally, Marshall yelled, "BREAK. Fifteen minutes, people. Fifteen minutes."

Carly dropped his hands and said, "See you in fifteen." Tyler saluted her and walked off to the guys' changing room. Before Carly had a chance to make it to the water fountain outside, Ruby caught her by the arm.

"Alright, why didn't you tell me that your new foster dad was Richard Castle? Or that your foster mom was Nikki Heat? Wait, sorry, I meant Detective Beckett. Or is it Castle now? I seriously need to check the blogs. Wait, back to the topic. WHY?" A few people glanced over, but Carly was more focused on the fact that Ruby was cutting off all blood supply to her lower arms with her death grip.

"Rubes, seriously, let go. Like, now. I need to have feeling in my hands." Ruby sighed and rolled her eyes, but released Carly. She watched her expectantly.

"So?"

"So, I didn't think it was relevant."

"How is it not relevant? You know I'm in freaking love with the man!"

"…Ew. He's got a daughter. That's older than us."

"…And?"

"And he's married."

"…And?"

"And you're thirteen."

"And a half! It's possible. It'd be like Hugh Heffner and what's her face."

Carly shuddered and said, "Oh, God, thanks for the imagery. How is Hugh Heffner not dead yet?"

"Well, you know what they say…" Ruby wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Carly made a show of gagging.

She said, "God, Ruby, you are so…dirty sometimes."

"Oh, trust me, there are many more jokes I could be making about the pseudo-relationship you've got going with Mr. Muscles over there." Ruby pointed over to where Tyler was attempting to beat Damien in arm wrestling. Carly choked back a giggle at the vein that was starting to pop out of his forehead, compared to Damien, who wasn't breaking a sweat. And then what Ruby had said sunk in.

Carly whipped around and said, "We are not in a relationship, pseudo or otherwise."

"Mhmm. Oh, look. It's class time." Ruby smile cheekily and floated over to Damien, who was grinning and strutting around the room.

Tyler walked over to Carly and she asked, "So, that was some arm wrestling tournament."

They took up their position and Tyler said, "Oh, hush."

* * *

**Alright, I would've written more, but I need to sleep because...wait for it...my first play is tomorrow! Wish me luck! Oh, and review please!**


	30. Chapter 30

**New chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

Carly walked out of the changing room and was about to cross through the door when she heard her name being called. She glanced around and saw Tyler jogging out of the boys' dressing room.

"What is it Ty?"

He caught up with her and asked, "You got plans?"

"Um, no…?"

"We could grab some lunch over at Mari's and then you could see the roster for yourself. I mean, if you wanted to."

Carly smiled and said, "Sure, that sounds fun. …Can I borrow your phone for a sec?" Tyler answered by handing over his small, old phone. Carly peeked out the door and glanced around the lobby before dialing.

"Hey Kate, I'm going to grab some lunch with a friend. He'll walk me back to the loft." She left her message at that and flipped the phone shut.

"Thanks Tyler."

He slid his phone into the pocket of his jeans and asked, "So I'm w_alking_ you home? Can we not just take the subway? I mean, it _is_ almost October. And really freaking cold."

"Oh, yeah, sure. I just meant that you're escorting me like the good knight you are."

"YAY."

"God, you're worse than Ruby sometimes."

"Of course I am, m'lady. I have to be to counter your abuse…eth." They walked out of the dance room, through the lobby, and out into the cold air.

Carly started to turn left, but stopped when Tyler said, "Carly, Mari's is to the right."

Carly whipped around and muttered, "I knew that…"

"Of course you did, m'lady. Of course you did."

{}

"So I heard your fosters are Richard Castle and Detective Beckett-Castle."

"I thought you would've noticed when she picked me up from dance class."

"Oh, I did. I just didn't say anything." Carly sipped her coffee, ignoring the fact that it had a weird salty taste to it, and studied Tyler, who stared right back.

He finally said, "You look a lot like her." Carly choked on her drink and almost spit it out, like they did in cheapo comedy movies.

She finally asked, "Wh-what?"

"She's your biological mom, isn't she?" Carly choked again, this time on air.

She coughed a bit and then asked, "What makes you think that?"

Tyler watched her over his glass of coke and said, "Well, the fact that you're like a mini-her may have led me to that conclusion. You almost done?" Carly was shocked at how blasé he was about it. She decided that two could play at that game.

"Yeah, I'm done. Hold on a second, I think I have a twenty in my back pocket."

She started to pull it out, but paused when Tyler said, "Don't worry about it, it's my treat."

"You sure?"

"Definitely. What type of gentleman makes a lady pay for her lunch?" Carly smiled at him and after he paid, they set off in the direction of the art studio.

As they approached it, Tyler asked, "Why don't you want people to see your art?"

"Um, I don't know. Aside from the fact that it's all sentimental and crap, I just don't like it." When they made it, Carly stared at the list. Sure enough, her name was down at the bottom, along with a few other students that she knew took classes there.

She frowned and said, "Well I'll be damned."

"You wanna go inside and stir up some trouble or just head back to your house?"

Carly looked up at the imposing building and answered, "Let's just go."

{}

They rode the subway in a comfortable silence and when they got off at the station closest to the loft, Carly said, "You don't have to walk me all the way, you know. You can head home."

"Nah, my sister is probably still spewing. And Jackie's boyfriend is probably over. And my other little sister has probably commandeered my room."

Carly nudged his shoulder playfully and said, "Oh, you know you just want an excuse to bathe in my presence. …Ty, you need to turn left."

"Do I Carly? Do I?"

"Yes, you really do." He shrugged and followed her lead, which, in hindsight, was not a good move for either one of them. They wound up four streets over in the wrong direction.

Carly groaned and said, "Maybe we should've gone right. …Don't you dare say 'I told you so', or so help me God…"

Tyler snapped his mouth shut and then asked hesitantly, "So, what now?"

Carly glanced up at the street sign and said, "Wanna get ice cream?"

"In September? In New York? Where it's bordering on fifty degrees?"

"Dude, it's-"

"I know, I know. It's never too cold, late, or inappropriate for ice cream."

"…I've taught you well. So?"

"How about we just catch a cab back to your place?"

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that's an option." Tyler rolled his eyes and tried to hail a cab.

After several taxis passed by him, Carly rolled her eyes and said, "Lemme show you how it's done." She yanked her jacket off, tossed it to Tyler, and popped a button of her collared shirt. After she tousled her hair, she held up an arm and stepped out into the street a little.

"Taxi!" A couple of cabs pulled up.

Tyler watched in awe and asked, "How do you do that?"

Carly smiled, re-buttoned her shirt, and whispered as she slid into one of the cabs, "Dude, I'm a female of a certain age, I have boobs, and I know how to use them. How do you think I do it?"

Tyler crawled in after her and said, "Oh, God, thanks for that explanation. Oh, God. And I thought you were better than Ruby."

Carly snorted and responded, "Don't ever think that I'm better than anyone. I'm sure to disappoint."

{}

It took all of four minutes for them to get to where they were supposed to be. Tyler refused to let Carly pay the driver, much to her chagrin, and held her door open for her.

"Dammit, Ty, I'm not incapable of doing things for myself."

He sighed and said, "Oh I know, Carly. You proved that with the cab."

On the elevator ride up, it was silent. Tyler kept glancing at Carly who kept glancing back at him and making strange faces. He would smirk occasionally, but other than that, they kept their eyes on the increasing numbers.

When they arrived at the twenty first floor, Carly said, "You don't have to walk me to the door."

Tyler shoved his hands in his pockets and said, "Eh, I've gotten you this far. Might as well see it to the end." In front of the front door, he paused and looked as though he wanted to say something, but couldn't. Carly waited for a few minutes, because if Tyler couldn't find the words to express something, then it was something big.

Finally she asked, "Ty…?"

"…I'm sorry about Elena."

"I know, you've said that before."

"…I just want you to know that I'm here, you know, if you ever need anything."

"…Thanks." She started to open the door, when she realized that it was locked. And she didn't have a key.

She muttered, "Shit," under her breath, eliciting a little chuckle from Tyler.

"Having some issues there, Carlini?"

"Shut it Tyler, unless you have a bobby pin." He smiled and whipped one out of his shirt pocket.

Carly sputtered, "How did you…? Why did you…? But you're a dude!"

"Ah, yes, but I live in a house of women."

"...I see. Hand it over." She held out her hand expectantly and he obediently dropped the bobby pin into her palm. After she jiggled it around in the lock for a little, the door swung open.

"Thanks Tyler. I'll see you next Sunday, kay?" Tyler nodded and waltzed off back to the elevator. Carly closed the door and looked around.

The loft was, as far as she could tell, empty. And after her meltdown the night before, being alone was the one thing she craved the most. She took the stairs two at a time and changed out of her clothes into her pajamas. The lack of sleep was catching up with her and she wanted to be comfortable, even though she didn't think she'd fall asleep at all. She pulled out her Modern Justice textbook and a highlighter, determined to make some headway in her homework. She may've been suspended, but she refused to let her grades drop below an A-. She walked downstairs and curled up on the couch and lost herself in the world of the justice system.

* * *

"Yo, Beckett, we got a lead on the Daniels' case." Kate looked up from her computer to see Esposito and Ryan hurrying over to her.

Ryan said, "Apparently, Elena had some problems with a classmate, Gretchen Reynolds. She and Gretchen had several off campus altercations, along with in school arguments. And Gretchen doesn't have an alibi."

* * *

"Detective Castle, I don't understand what this is about. My daughter should be in her English class right now, not in some underfunded, stuffy interrogation room."

Kate smiled tightly and said, "Mrs. Reynolds, this is about the murder of one of your daughter's classmates. I'm sure you've heard about her, Elena Daniels. Your daughter has been in numerous fights with Elena off campus and we have witnesses stating that Gretchen and Elena argued the Friday before Elena was murdered." Gretchen opened her mouth to speak, but her mother cut her off.

"My daughter is _not_ a murderer. How _dare_ you suggest something like that."

"Mrs. Reynolds, I wasn't suggesting anything. I was simply stating the facts." Kate redirected her attention away from Mrs. Reynolds and towards Gretchen.

"Gretchen, where were you the night that Elena was murdered?" Gretchen froze. Looked at her mother. Back at Kate. Back at her mother, who was staring at her, waiting for an answer as well.

Finally, Gretchen said, "I, uh, was, um, sleeping."

Mrs. Reynolds relaxed and said, "See, my daughter can't be the murderer. She was asleep, in her room, like always."

Kate stared at Gretchen and stated, "You're lying. Where were you really?" Gretchen gulped once, twice, three times. Her mother's eyes widened almost comically.

Gretchen finally choked out, "She deserved it. She really freaking deserved it."

Mrs. Reynolds screamed, "Gretchen! Shut up, shut up, don't say another word."

Gretchen seemed almost catatonic as she said, "I didn't mean to kill her. I just wanted her to stop being so perfect and to give me a freaking chance. She deserved it though." _Smack_. Mrs. Reynolds looked almost as surprised as Gretchen did at the slap she had inflicted upon her daughter.

Kate asked calmly, "Mrs. Reynolds, did you know about what your daughter did?"

Mrs. Reynolds nodded slowly.

"Gretchen, did you do this by yourself or did you have help?"

Gretchen blinked and said, "I did it alone. Unlike Elena, who always needed her group. They're all a bunch a weak willed bitches that need to hide behind others."

Kate pursed her lips and finally said, "You're far too young." She got up and left the Reynoldses to sort out things for themselves.

As soon as the door closed, she told Esposito and Ryan, "Put them both in lock up."

* * *

Carly nudged Hannah and asked, "So, how much you wanna bet that Mr. Finch and Ms. Isle are sleeping together?"

Hannah glanced at the two teachers, the gym coach and the psychology teacher, respectively, and answered, "I say thirty bucks, friends with benefits."

"Nuh uh, I say fifty and a casual but committed relationship. Oh, God, I never thought I'd ever use that term." The pair snickered, but stopped abruptly when Ms. Cherie approached where they were eating lunch.

"Carly, Hannah, would you please come to my office."

Carly braced for the worst as they walked down the hallway to Ms. Cherie's office. Either someone else was dead, or something even worse had happened, not that she could think of something. When the door opened, Carly saw Georgia, Danielle (who had only recently returned to school, for reasons she had yet to reveal), Tanya, the twins, Penelope, and Sophia, all sitting tensely, all looking like they wanted to scream.

Ms. Cherie said, "Take a seat, girls. …Elena's parents would like me to inform you that the killer was caught. It was Gretchen Reynolds." The group of girls collapsed onto each other, each crying or gasping or thanking God. Carly, for her part, sat stoically, wishing that she had punched Gretchen just a little harder.

Ms. Cherie gave them a moment and then said, "You've each been excused from your remaining classes. Your parents should be by soon to pick you up. You may wait in the administrative office."

* * *

**I'm not crazy about this chapter, but hey, look! It's 2000+ and it's the thirtieth chapter. I think that deserves a review!**


	31. Chapter 31

**So, it's been a little while...but, I'm out of school, so I have basically three full months to devote to this story, along with a few of my other stories, but mostly this one. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"Carly, sweetie, do you want to come with us?"

Carly shook her head at her friend's mother, a tall, elegant woman with her blonde hair swept up out of her face, and said, "Thanks Mrs. Anderson, but no. I'll be fine."

Mrs. Anderson watched her in concern and finally said, "Alright, but call if you ever need a ride, or if you just need to get out of the house. Anything, alright?"

"Thanks Mrs. Anderson."

"Okay, goodbye Carly."

"Bye Mrs. Anderson, bye Hannah."

Hannah waved weakly and Carly sat alone, for once wishing that she wasn't. The twins were sitting over on a different bench, waiting for their parents to collect them as well, and while their presence and chatter provided Carly with a bit of comfort, she still felt like someone had taken a bulldozer to the walls that she had so carefully constructed around her, keeping the majority of the world out, but dammit, now the rest of the world was slowly sneaking past her now weak barriers.

First, she lost the hate that she had armored herself with, that is, the hate that had been directed at Kate. Then, she lost smoking, a tool she used to distance herself from the world. And finally, she lost Elena, her best friend, her sister, to some bitch who couldn't accept the fact that Elena was simply a better person. And while Elena had been dead for some time at that point, finding out who killed her gave it some closure, like there was no way in heaven or hell that she'd be coming back.

Finally, the front door opened. Carly glanced up, saw that it was Kate, and sighed in relief, grateful that Kate had finally shown up to save her from the constant reminders of what happened to Elena and what Gretchen had done. Carly immediately corrected herself. Carly Hayes did not need saving. She just needed to get out of there. While Kate signed her out up at the front desk, Carly hastily grabbed her bag and headed towards the door.

She stopped in her tracks, however, the second that Julia said, "Carly? It's going to be okay. We're all going to be fine one day." She glanced back and refrained from speaking her mind when she saw Julia's fragile expression.

Carly sighed and said, "I know. Bye Julia. Bye Fiona." The twins waved and went back to their conversation.

Carly hurried over to the door, where Kate was waiting and murmured, "Hi Kate."

"Hey Carly." Kate seemed to sense her need for silence and didn't ask any questions, unlike just about anyone else in the world.

Once safely inside the car, Carly asked, "Were you the one that, um, found out what Gretchen did?" Kate dropped her hand from the keys and let the engine idle.

"Yes, I was, along with Detectives Ryan and Esposito." Carly focused on a group of seniors that strolled out of a classroom and to their car in the parking lot.

Finally, she said, "Thank you."

Kate nodded and asked, "How're you holding up?" Carly blew her bangs out of her eyes (damn, when had they gotten so long? They were almost down to her freaking chin) by way of response.

Kate said gently, "I'm always here if you need to talk." After Carly mumbled something completely incomprehensible (even to herself), Kate put the car in gear and drove out of the parking lot.

* * *

After spending the remainder of the day staring blankly at whatever happened to be on the TV and basically keeping to herself, Carly figured that she'd be ready to all but collapse into her bed. But, as always, that was not the case. She lay in bed, completely and totally awake, at two in the morning.

Ms. Cherie had asked that she (along with the other girls) to stay home the next day, so she wasn't freaking out over school or anything. She didn't feel like a panic attack (or any other attack, for that matter) was coming on, and she hadn't fallen asleep long enough to have a nightmare. So, obviously, that meant that her mind had caught on to the fact that she hadn't smoked in a week. And it sucked.

What had started as a small, irritating headache had quickly morphed into splitting migraine, and unfortunately for Carly, the only remedy for such a migraine was either A) smoking or B) a certain boy, someone whom she planned on never seeing again, if she had anything to do with it. And, no, it wasn't Mason, mostly because Mason had access to cigarettes and had the most _amazing_ hair. So, as far as Carly could tell, she was stuck with the migraine, wishing that she could crawl under a rock and just die.

Finally, after suffering through it for another twenty minutes, Carly thought,_ Screw it_, and rolled out of bed. After she changed into warmer things, she stepped out of her room. She could hear neither movement nor voices, so she slipped down the stairs and out the door, this time remembering both the key and a bobby pin, because she could never quite know what would happen or what would be needed.

After an excruciating twenty one floor elevator ride, with each _ding!_ causing her to wince, Carly stepped out of the lobby and into the cool air. And, lo and behold, there was another person sitting on the curb. Specifically, another person with the most amazing hair and these blue eyes that were so amazingly bright that it wasn't even normal.

Carly made a rash decision (why Carly Hayes, what _has_ gotten into you?) and dropped down next to him, accidentally bumping his shoulder a little too hard and causing him to drop his cigarette. He whipped around, looking like he was about to say things that even a truck driver wouldn't say, but his face broke out into a grin when he realized that it was her.

Carly asked, "So, you come here often?"

Mason let his grin dim to a smirk and asked, "Where've you been? I keep expecting you to show up and smoke half my pack again."

Carly felt heat rising in her cheeks and she ducked her head and said, "Sorry about that. I swear, I won't do that this time. I'm trying to quit."

Mason lit snuffed out the dropped cigarette, lit another, and asked, "How's that working out for you?"

"Do you have any Advil?"

Mason chuckled, "Ah, so you've gotten to the withdrawal stage. I apologize, but I don't have any Advil on my person. I quit carrying when I quit trying to quit."

Carly giggled (good Lord, not again) and asked, "How many times have you tried to quit?"

"Four times. All failed, obviously. You want one?" He offered his Marlboro's to her and Carly raised her eyebrows.

"I tell you I'm trying to quit, and you offer me a cigarette?"

"I never claimed to not be an enabler."

"Mhmm."

"So, I take that as a no…?"

Carly stared at the package for a moment longer and finally decided that being able to say that she'd never broken a promise in her life was worth more than a quick fix for a migraine. She shook her head again and instead tried to calm her nerves by breathing in deeply whenever Mason exhaled the smoke. He smoked in silence and after he snuffed out his cigarette, he glanced at Carly, and she felt this burning, deep in her chest. A burning chest for her was like butterflies in the stomach for other (normal) people.

She knew where this led. She had walked this path before and it did not lead to a good place for her, but unfortunately, her mind and her heart did not seem to be in sync and her heart won out. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in for a kiss, and in doing so, managed to knock the lighter he held out of his hands. They scrambled to stand up and when they were standing, Mason moved them back until Carly felt a wall behind her back. After playing the good girl and keeping her mouth firmly shut, Carly pulled back panting.

Mason gasped, "How old are you?"

"Almost fifteen. You?"

"Fifteen."

"How long have you been fifteen?"

"Two months."

"Good." Carly pulled him back down to meet her lips.

{ \ / }

"I can't believe that there's a diner that's open this late."

"Oh, God, how long have you lived in New York? I mean, there's _always_ a diner open at three fifteen in the morning."

Carly cried indignantly, "I've lived in New York my entire life, thank you very much. I just never really went anywhere at three fifteen in the morning. I was sleeping, like normal people do."

Mason took a bite of his cheeseburger and said, "Sleeping is overrated." Carly rolled her eyes and took a deep gulp of her coffee.

When Mason had led her into the over-lit, greasy diner that was a throwback from the sixties, Carly hadn't had very high expectations. But the second the waitress brought out a cup of coffee with two Advil pills on the side, Carly thought she had died and gone to heaven.

Carly asked, "You come here a lot? Everyone seems to know you."

"The owner is my aunt. Order something, please, it's on the house." Carly shook her head.

"I'm good with coffee. Seriously, I'm, like, a caffeine fiend or something."

They fell silent for a bit and then Mason asked, "So, is this like a date or something?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Cool."

Carly glanced up at the clock that hung over the cash register and said, "We should probably head back."

Mason twisted his neck and questioned, "Why? It's not even four."

"Do your parents pay no attention to you? Because I'm pretty sure I'll be in so much trouble if mine find out I'm out again."

"They got something against having fun? And my parents are just very deep sleepers."

Carly put her coffee cup down and sighed, "Can we just go?"

Mason took one last bite of his cheeseburger and said, "Bye Leslie!" The waitress, a dour, disapproving looking woman waved and smiled.

"Bye sweetheart. Make sure your girl there gets home safe, alright?"

Carly flushed and ducked her head again while Mason casually responded with a, "Kay."

* * *

After Mason had seen Carly off to the twenty first floor and the elevator doors slid closed, Carly opened the door slowly, praying that there would be nobody behind it. At least this time, she didn't reek of smoke. For once, her prayers were answered, and she made it up to her room without being caught. It was only when she had changed back into her pajamas and slid into bed when she realized that her migraine had disappeared. Carly sighed with relief and let herself fall into the rarely open arms of sleep.

* * *

"_You okay?" _

_"Yes, Liam, I'm fine." _

_"You sure? Because I don't want-" _

_"I'm fine, Liam. Just let me go to sleep." _

_Carly turns over, letting her back face him and she pretends to not hear his sigh of defeat. The bed creaks as he rolls away. Carly stares at the wall, trying to ignore the tears that are pricking at the corner of her eyes. She's far too young to be doing this; far too young to be this messed up, this broken. Barely thirteen and already a grade A slut. Mama wouldn't be proud. Nor would Henry. _

_Carly tries to ignore Mama's voice that's ringing in her ears, saying, "Don't ever do anything that you'd be ashamed to tell me about, alright Carebear?" Her old nickname reverberates throughout her mind, until the only way to ignore it is to fall asleep. _

* * *

Carly woke up with an ache in her heart, like there was a chasm so large it couldn't be spanned with even the longest bridge. She was used to this, especially after dreaming about Liam, but it was especially bad that particular morning. Carly blamed it on Mason, because it was always so much easier to blame others.

When she glanced at the clock, she found that it wasn't even seven yet, which explained the lack of light coming in through her window. And because she knew herself well enough to know that there was no falling back to sleep, she rolled out of bed, threw on some clothes, and grabbed Little Women (yet again. Damn, didn't she learn her lesson the first time?).

She tiptoed down the stairs and settled onto the couch, but decided that she didn't want to start bawling again, so she set the book down next to her and flipped the TV on. She found the classic movie channel once again (how in the hell did she manage to do that? Her memory was _never_ that good) and watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof numbly, wishing that she was five years old again, and instead of just a book, she had Mama sitting next to her, keeping all her ghosts at bay.

* * *

**So, it's another 2000+ chapter, so I'm pretty proud. Although, I'm pretty sure more than a few of you will be raising eyebrows over Carly's, ahem, discolored past. So, please, share your thoughts with me, I thrive off of your feedback. Review please! **


	32. Chapter 32

**So...it's been a while. Sorry! :D Anyway, here's the thirty second chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"So, Carly, you haven't been to any sessions in the past few weeks, I'm sure we have a lot to talk about."

Dr. G (short for Gihadimiriacki, a name that Carly could not pronounce for the life of her) looked up from his clipboard where he was making notes and watched Carly expectantly.

She sighed dramatically and said, "Well, I got placed with my birth mom, my best friend got whacked, I found out who whacked my best friend, I got locked in an elevator, I dyed my hair –do you like it? –, my nightmares are picking back up, I got in a fight with my best friend's murderer – before I knew she had killed her –, and I found out that my art is being shown in an art exhibit next year, but not in that particular order. Do with that what you will."

Dr. G scribbled away furiously for a few moments and then adjusted his glasses and asked, "Alright, let's just start from the top. How do _you_ feel about being placed with your mother?"

Carly snapped, "_Birth_ mother. She's my birth mother." Another few moments were spent on Dr. G scribbling away and frowning at his clipboard.

Finally, he asked, "Alright, how do you feel about being placed with your birth mother?"

Carly tucked a wayward curl behind her ear aggressively (where did the curls come from? Could she blame genetics or a fluke in the universe?) and stared her psychiatrist down for a moment. Dr. G wasn't an intimidating man by any means, being short and round with a shiny bald spot that you couldn't see unless he was sitting, and Carly thought that he slightly resembled a teddy bear. And while he wasn't intimidating, he did manage to elicit one too many answers out of Carly with some magic power he seemed to be in possession of. What that magic power was, Carly didn't know. But Carly didn't really have a problem with it, mostly because he had a strict client privacy policy, which meant he couldn't tell anyone anything about her unless she told him she was about to jump out a window. Which she did, one time, just to see how he'd respond. It was actually quite funny, as his eyes bugged and his mouth popped open and he scrambled for the phone before she told him that she was just messing with his head.

Finally, she sighed and said, "It's fine."

"Define 'fine'." Carly glared at him, but he raised his eyebrows as if to say, "I don't have all day."

Carly sighed again and said, "She's not a soulless bitch that couldn't afford an abortion, like I'd thought."

"Ah, I see. And have you worked through any of the anger you feel towards her?"

"Some of it." Dr. G had been her psychiatrist for four long years, so he knew that that was just about all she'd say on the topic.

He then asked, "Do you want to discuss your loss?" Carly ignored him and stared out the window, watching a pair of birds fight over a discarded French fry.

Dr. G got the message and went on to ask, "How did you handle your elevator escapade?"

"Let's move on." Dr. G closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, ruffling his thick, black mustache a little.

When he opened his eyes, he said, "Your new color suits you. It's lighter, younger."

Carly smiled (whose smile was it? Was it distinctly her own? Did someone on some side of the family have a smile just like it?) and said, "Thanks. I'm almost thinking about letting it just grow out natural."

"Any particular reason?"

Carly's smile was replaced by a scowl and she questioned, "Can't I just want to change my hair without there being a reason behind it?"

"Well, besides the fact that during our time together you have made your way through fourteen different hair colors, there's usually a reason behind pathological changing of features."

"It's not pathological. Next topic."

"Nightmares. Discuss?"

"No."

"Fight with best friend's killer."

He glanced at Carly to gauge her reaction and said, "Right, bad topic. Okay, this should be safe… Your art. It's being showcased, correct?" Carly nodded.

"Well, that's awesome. How do you feel about this?"

"I think my lack of happy dance says it all."

"Ah, yes. Why don't you feel happy about this?"

"It's my art. It's supposed to be personal, you know? For my eyes only and all that."

"Is it possible for you to withdraw the pieces being showcased?"

Carly had an immediate flash to her almost argument with Tyler. She sighed and took a different approach to Dr. G, mostly because the only fun in arguing was when she had someone that would argue back (someone meaning Tyler or Elena. Unfortunately, it was now only Tyler).

She said, "I don't know. My instructor is as stubborn as I am, if not more so."

"But you don't seem to be fighting this development very hard."

"Why would you think that?"

"You seem resigned. Like you have no control, and we both know how much you dislike a lack of control."

"Oh, shut up."

"Carly…" Dr. G waved a disapproving finger in her direction, to which she responded with a roll of her eyes.

She let her attention drift over to the window, where there was now a group of birds, all fighting over the same damn fry, but was interrupted when Dr. G asked, "What reasons do you have to cling to some of the anger towards your birth mother?" Carly snapped her eyes back to Dr. G, who was twiddling his thumbs innocently, awaiting her answer on baited breath.

She said, "I don't need a reason."

"Oh, but you do. I know you do. So what are they?"

Carly let out a breath, ignored the temptation to walk out the office door, and said, "She didn't show up 'till now." Dr. G sensed an opening, put his clipboard down and leaned forward.

He asked, "But I was told that you were a closed adoption. Were you under a different impression?"

Dr. G rarely brought up the A word, mostly because he knew how Carly felt about her adoptive family and how protective she was of them (was that some sort of trait she inherited? In this case of nature vs. nurture, Carly couldn't decide which would win), so Carly knew the he was hoping for a breakthrough of some sort.

She crossed her arms and rearranged herself on the couch, this time with her legs tucked underneath her, as if curling into herself would keep her from saying something that she'd regret later.

Finally, she said, "No. I knew it was a closed adoption and that she couldn't contact me while I was a minor. But some of the other kids in the foster homes, they had been closed adoptions too, but they got letters and books and pictures of them and their parents when they were newborns."

"And you felt cheated because you didn't have that."

"No, I didn't. I still don't."

"Then what do you feel?"

Dr. G leaned forward even more, his glasses slipping down his nose and Carly said, "I feel…empty. All the time." Dr. G slid back into his chair and adjusted his glasses. Carly noted that he refrained from scribbling away on his clipboard. The silence hung heavily, like neither person could quite figure out how to follow up to Carly's little announcement.

Finally, Dr. G seemed to find the right words and he asked, "Why do you feel empty?" Carly felt like an idiot when she started talking, and for once that kept her from saying too much.

She simply said, "I don't know."

"Ah, I think you do, but you're just not ready to admit it. What I'd like for you to do in this next week, is confront the reasons behind your 'emptiness'."

Carly glared at his use of air quotes, but he forged on, "I'd also like for you to start talking to your birth mother. I'm sure she's just as confused as you are, if not more so. You have to remember Carly, she's a mother too. She's a…a halfway mother, you could call her. She gave birth to you, and I'm sure she has a bond with you, but she never got to see you grow up. For her, you were a tiny newborn, and suddenly you're now a thirteen year old, a young woman with lots of held in emotions. There's no middle for her. She never saw the in between stages, never got to see all the steps of growing up that most mothers get to experience with their children. You have to cut her some slack, alright?"

Carly glanced down at her hands (whose hands were they? Did they come from her biological father's side? Did they come from Kate's side?) and said, "Sure. Whatever. Can I go now?"

Dr. G laced his fingers and said, "Alright. I'll see you next week."

* * *

**Later that day...**

* * *

"Kate?" Kate looked up from the television and saw Carly standing on the bottom stair, textbook in hand, looking more than a little nervous.

"What do you need, Carly?"

Carly shifted her textbook to her other arm and asked, somewhat hesitantly, as if she was uncertain of what she was about to do, "Can you help me with my homework? My Modern Justice teacher just gave us a new textbook and assigned, like, a bazillion chapters to read, and I'm so confused right now, it's not even funny." It was a peace offering, but what caused it, Kate didn't know.

"Oh, yeah, definitely."

She flicked off the TV and as Carly walked over, she asked, "What's confusing you, exactly?"

{/\}

"So, there's a constable, which is an officer, which is the lowest rank, right?" Kate nodded and Carly continued.

"And then there's the specialists that work on one thing, like murder, or robbery, or kidnapping. …Wait, is that the same as a detective?"

Carly looked to Kate for an answer, and she said, "Kind of. Officers usually are the ones the handle the case immediately and they are also the ones that prevent crimes from happening. Detectives are the ones that get the cases after they've happened."

Carly made a note on her school issued notebook and then asked, "So, it'd be like if someone got whacked, it'd be regular police officers that would be there first, and then a detective like you would be called in…?"

"Yeah, basically."

Carly shot up off the couch and said, "Yes! I'm not a complete idiot!" After dancing around for a few minutes, she seemed to remember that she was in the company of Kate, who was watching with a bemused smirk on her face.

Carly dropped back down on the couch and said, "Thanks, Kate."

Kate helped her gather her various papers and pencils and said, "No problem. I'm always here, if you need help."

Carly nodded and was halfway up the stairs when she paused and said, "I'm sorry, Kate." Before Kate could say anything, Carly had disappeared up the stairs.

* * *

**So, it's, like, three in the morning and I wrote just about the entire last half in the last twenty minutes, so I apologize if it sucks, because right now, I'm so tired, I can't even think straight. Anyway, I'd love a review...**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hello there, it seems that I've written another chapter...wow, thirty-three chapters already. It seems like I just started this thing yesterday...But, excuse my nostalgia. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

It seemed that Carly could officially be called an insomniac. And her insomnia was not helped by the fact that it seemed like all these different thoughts were expanding in her mind, making it difficult to even breathe. But, luckily for this particular insomniac, she had a rather hot guy smoking on the street curb that she could pay a visit. So, instead of fighting her insomnia, Carly rolled out of bed and dressed in warm clothes and poked her head out. The loft was quiet, and Carly had gotten accustomed to walking lightly down the hall, so it didn't faze her one bit.

When she got out of the lobby, she felt the same burn in her chest when she saw the back of Mason's head and the telltale Marlboro pack sitting next to him. She fell into place beside him and he offered his cigarettes.

"Want one?"

"Still quitting."

"Whatever you say." Carly watched a few cars pass by, breathing in deeply whenever Mason exhaled smoke, trying to absorb some nicotine to give her a fix until the next time she'd see him.

Finally, he finished his cigarette and asked, "Do you want to come inside?"

**{/\}**

"Are your parents ever home?"

Mason grinned at Carly as he pulled down ingredients off of shelves and answered, "They usually check in for, like, twenty minutes, once a week."

Carly squirted whipped cream into her mouth and said around her mouthful, "That's so sad."

Mason chuckled at her chipmunk like cheeks and responded, "Not really. At least this way I'm able to do what I want, when I want."

Carly swallowed, set the whipped cream can down, and questioned, "Like wine and dine girls at two in the morning?"

Mason bent down to pull something out of a cabinet, but Carly could hear him say, "Well, technically just dine. But if you want some wine, I'm sure my dad left the liquor cabinet unlocked." Carly snorted and swung her legs back and forth, letting them bounce off of the counter she was perched upon.

Carly watched Mason move around the kitchen and said, "I must say, I'm extremely attracted to you right now. Like, more than before."

Mason glanced over his shoulder and smirked at Carly, then asked, "More than before?"

"I love a boy that can work a kitchen."

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I don't know how to cook anything more than cookies and/or toast."

"…Nope. Still attracted."

Carly slid down off the counter and tucked herself neatly against Mason's side and glanced down at the cookbook he was working out of.

After she scanned the recipe, she said, "You do know that this is a recipe for pie filling, right?"

"Other page."

"…Oh. Alright, well, you're gonna need to add another teaspoon of vanilla if you plan on impressing me. I like things sweet."

Mason adopted a look of faux hurt and asked, "Am I not sweet enough for you?"

Carly smacked his chest with the back of her hand and said, "You'll be sweeter if you just bake me cookies. Like, yesterday. Do you need any help?"

"Nope, I plan on being a gentleman and letting you enjoy your whipped cream whilst I slave over the oven." Carly was all too happy with that statement and she bounced over to her perch and wiggled her way back onto the counter.

After taking another shot from the whipped cream can, she asked, "Shouldn't you be wooing older girls?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said, shouldn't you be wooing older girls? I'm, like, a year and a half your junior."

"I've found that younger girls are easier to impress. Girls my age want to date guys with cars and they want to go to parties and they tend to be bitches."

"Ah, I see. …I wouldn't mind a guy with a car…"

"Then no cookies for you!"

"No! Not the cookies!" Carly dissolved into giggles and Mason chuckled lightly to himself before continuing to assemble the cookie dough.

**{/\}**

Carly was not a girl that counted calories excessively (alright, maybe just a little), but as a dancer, she needed to maintain a certain weight (ninety six to ninety eight pounds) that worked for her height and frame so that Tyler (that wimp) would be able to lift her for 30+ seconds, if the dance called for it. But occasionally, she allowed herself to indulge in high in calories, high in sugar treats, without the inevitable 'Holy crap, I just ate some really crappy thing, I need to do, like, one hundred crunches to make up for it' mantra. This was one of those moments.

"Oh, my God, these are abso-freaking-lutely the best things I have ever tasted. Pass the whipped cream." Mason nudged the whipped cream can over to Carly obediently, who happily sprayed it onto her cookie. The same cookie that got knocked out of her hand as she was all but attacked.

Mason's mouth covered hers and when he pulled back, she whispered, "I really wanted to eat that cookie. Like, really wanted to."

He breathed, "Ha. Ha," and resumed kissing her.

* * *

Carly loved her school. Really, she did, but that love was tested many times throughout the school year, especially when play season rolled around. RiverView was famous for its robust play season, which included fourteen plays, nine musicals, and three musical medleys. And play season was amazing, if you were in the audience. But if you're backstage or worse, onstage, then it was a complete and total stress fest.

Even worse, if you signed up for choir, theatre, orchestra, band, or art, it was compulsory for you to be part of play season. So, that basically meant that every one of the students at RiverView was involved in play season in some manner, whether it be hair and makeup or lighting, acting or managing. The choir, band, and orchestra kids flocked to the musicals and medleys, the art kids split up between all three options so that they could use their artistic skills to do makeup, while the theatre kids (a group of two hundred students) were left with the brunt of the season, all fourteen plays, while also spreading themselves even thinner by helping out with the musicals. And what made these long six months even longer, was the fact that the theatre department's head, Mr. Saint-John, made it compulsory for all theatre kids to audition. For every. Single. Play.

So that left Carly, Hannah, Tanya, Penelope, and Danielle (along with their thirteen other classmates) scrambling for the few pages of scripts that their teacher, Ms. Kramer, had handed out, saying that those would be what they would audition with.

Hannah raised her hand tentatively and asked, "Ms. Kramer, do we read the female lines or the male lines? And are we all reading for the same character?"

Hannah started to ask another question when Ms. Kramer said, "Well, Hannah, all the _females_ are reading the _female_ lines, and all the _males _are reading the _male _lines. And yes, you are all reading for the same character, well, the same character that is gender correct, that is, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to get that character. The directors, which are myself, Ms. Cherie, and Mr. Saint-John, will listen to your audition and decide what part you're suited for from there. Speaking of parts," she turned to address the whole class, "Do you remember what I said about getting cast?"

The class chorused, "There are no small parts, only small actors."

"Very good class. Alright, I'll let you out a little early. I'll see you next week!"

The inevitable scraping of chairs and stomping of feet rang throughout the room and as everyone filed out, Hannah asked Carly, "So, what part are you hoping for?" Carly glanced down at the pages of script in her hand and scanned the lists of characters for each play.

Finally, while they walked down the hall to their Ethics classroom, Carly answered her, "I'd rather just be a stage manager, like I was last year."

"That's because you broke your leg and you weren't able to run around the stage. And you call me the dumb one…" Carly started to protest, bust she was cut off by the sound of the bell and the duo scurried into their seats before their teacher, Mr. Williams, could say anything about lollygagging.

He said, "Alright, now that _everyone's_ here, we can start. Now class, can you tell me what month it is? Miss. Anderson, do you know the answer?"

Hannah squeaked out, "October."

Mr. Williams glared at her and said, "I expect you to speak up next time, Miss. Anderson. And while your answer is correct in a practical sense, it is incorrect in this particular moment. This month, we are entering our Society Ethics unit. What is considered good in society?"

Someone in the back of the classroom, someone that Carly vaguely remembered from second grade, a boy that had dumped a carton of chocolate milk down her dress, yelled, "Money!"

Another girl to Carly's right said, "More like earning money through hard work."

Mr. Williams said, "Very good Monica. Alright, so, what else?"

Hannah said, "Getting a good job." Mr. Williams started writing down the suggestions on the whiteboard as kids called them out.

"Getting married."

"Helping a neighbor."

"Having kids."

"Getting promoted."

"Donating to charity."

"Helping others."

"Saving people." That carried on until everyone, aside from Carly, had said something. Mr. Williams then set his gaze upon Carly.

"Anything to add Miss. Hayes?" Carly looked up from her intricate sketch that she had been sketching on the blank page of notebook paper and scanned the list on the white board.

Finally, she said, "Taking care of your kids." Mr. Williams watched her for a moment longer before he wrote down what she had said.

Finally, he turned back to the class and said, "Now, for this unit, you will be expected to find out just why these things are considered good in modern society. You may use the internet, the library; you may also interview anyone and everyone, whether it be the mayor or the homeless man that sits outside the McDonalds across the street. I would like a three page minimum essay on this subject, on my desk, bright and early Wednesday morning, the thirtieth of November. I'll be happy to write study hall passes for anyone that requires extra time in the library or computer labs, outside of class time. Alright, now, if everyone would follow me to the library, with a notebook and pencil in hand…" His voice was lost in the immediate scraping of chairs and pounding of feet.

* * *

During lunch, Carly was dragged by Penelope, Hannah, Tanya, and Danielle to sign up for audition slots. For some odd reason, the rush to sign up was always after school, and it had been Elena that had discovered that teachers put up the sheets without telling anyone about it and that they were available for use during lunch time.

A pang of sadness went through Carly as she realized that this would be the first time that she and Elena wouldn't be weathering play season together, as they always had. If one of them was in a play, the other would either be in it, or be backstage, working on costumes or hair or makeup or being a stage manager, as Carly had been the year before. But this year, there'd only be one side of the duo slogging through fourteen scripts, not including the nine different scripts and sheet music for the musicals. And that made the whole thing seem so much suckier.

As very few students knew the secret of the lunch sign ups, almost all of the slots were open and Carly signed up for the earliest ones possible, which were right after school for two weeks straight, while the other girls discussed how each time would impact their schedules. Carly waited patiently as her friends decided on their slots and after everyone had signed up for their audition slots for all fourteen plays, they made their way back to the center courtyard to meet up with the rest of their group and swap horror stories of the days.

* * *

**Look! Carly's actually at school! And not getting called out to be questioned about her best friend's murder! YAY! So, obviously, my mind is mush right now. But, I've already plotted out the next several chapters, but now it's just a matter of getting those plots onto the Word document, which is easier said than done. Alright, I've babbled for long enough. Review please!**


	34. Chapter 34

**So, new chapter! And it's a long one, 3000+ last time I checked. :D Anywhos, Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, Doug the Diaper Guy (you'll see), or Ragtime Lullaby (it'll be explained in the Author's Note at the end). Read on!**

**WARNING: There's a dream sequence in this chapter that isn't for the weak hearted (or those with a weak stomach). It doesn't go into too much detail, but a great amount is implied. Also, be aware, said dream sequence contains several F-Bombs. Oh, and the dream sequence is in italics, in case anyone needs that warning/reminder.**

* * *

"Carly, if you want to make it to your dance class, I suggest you wake up. Now." Kate rapped on Carly's door as she passed it, for what seemed like the hundredth time.

When she was ignored once again, she paused and said through the door, "Carly, you really need to get up. …Carly?"

Kate pushed the door open slowly and poked her head in to see Carly. Or, what she assumed was Carly, but really, it could have been just a lump a blankets with its lack of movement. Kate padded over and shook Carly shoulder gently.

"Carly, wake up." Carly rolled away.

Kate crossed her arms and said, "Carly, I know that you can hear me. You need to get up and get dressed." A pair of hands shot out and pulled the covers up farther, covering what was visible of her hair.

"Up. Now."

Finally, Carly popped her head out far enough for Kate to see her eyes and mumbled, "I'd really like to just sleep. For the rest of the year."

"Not an option."

"I think it should be."

"And I think that gas prices should be lower." Carly groaned and pulled the covers down so that her entire head was visible.

Upon realizing that Kate was being serious about having to get up, Carly grumbled, "Ugh. Fine, I'll be down relatively soon, I swear."

Kate called over her shoulder as she walked out, "Ten minutes Carly, ten minutes."

* * *

"Hey, Carlini, you free today?"

Carly looked up at Tyler, who was far too awake for her liking, bouncing and smiling with his hands stuck jauntily in his pockets, and grumbled something along the lines of, "I swear, Ty, if you don't turn down the cheer, I'm going to punch your freaking face in."

Tyler held his hands up in a surrendering motion and said, "Whoa there, did someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"Are you insinuating that I'm being mean or something?"

"Um…you threatened to punch my face in, so…yeah. So, if you're not going to kill me for asking, you free?"

"Sure, well, I'm pretty sure. Why?"

"My mom just bought us that new dancing game the Nintendo has been advertising for the past two years…"

"Look, Ty, Mary's waving us over, I'm tired and about to strangle you, just freaking tell me."

"Yeesh, someone needs an espresso. Anyway, my mom bought me and my sisters that dancing game, and I know you've been saying that you've wanted to play it, and my mom and sisters are at some all-girls spa thingy, I thought that maybe you'd wanna grab something to eat and then go and play it."

"Sure, sounds great, but remind me to call my mother."

"Alright…uh, I think we ought to go over before Mary murders us. I doubt anyone would like that."

Carly rolled her eyes but linked her arm with his and walked over to where Mary was standing, hands on her hips, looking far too intimidating for a woman that stood five feet, even.

* * *

"CARLY!"

Carly winced as Ruby all but shrieked in her ear and said, "What, what? What in the world could cause you to yell that loud?"

Ruby looked around and whispered conspiratorially, "We must plan."

Carly matched her tone and asked, "Plan for what, exactly?"

"We must plan…my…Halloween party."

Carly glanced at the calendar that had been tacked to the wall of the dance room and questioned, "God, Rubes, you haven't planned for that already? It's what, October tenth?"

Ruby switched to her innocent face, a face that would make you hand over three hundred bucks (as was discovered one time that she and Carly had gotten lost trying to find their way to Times Square) and said, "What? I've been distracted."

"How distracted do you have to be? Remember last year? With the dancing fat guy in a diaper?"

Ruby bit the corner of her lip and said, "Yeah…that was pretty bad."

Carly resisted the urge to slap Ruby on the back of her head and said in a semi restrained voice, "Yes, Ruby, it was _very_ bad. Very, very, very bad. So bad that no one speaks of it except to say, 'God, I hope he doesn't show up again'."

"No need to be mean about it."

Tyler happened to be passing by on his way to the water fountain and commented, "She's been like that all day. Careful, she bites." Carly made to lunge at him and he ran, somewhat comically, to the safety of the lobby.

Carly turned back to Ruby and asked, "Alright, what have you done so far?"

"I've bought decorations."

"…Oh, my God. This is bad. Badder than Doug the Diaper Guy."

"Do you have to keep bringing it up? The band canceled, so I improvised!"

"He can sing, he can dance, he can poop his pants!"

"…You do not know how much I want to slap you right now."

"And you do not know how much I want to strangle you right now."

"Can we get back to the topic at hand?" C

arly blew hair out of her eyes and said, "Alright, alright. You're going to need to book a band, one that doesn't cancel at the last minute. Um, send out an email or something to make sure that people are _there_."

"I'm not an idiot Carls, I know that I need to do that."

"Then what am I necessary for?"

"Um, emotional support?"

Carly placed a hand to Ruby's forehead and said, "There, I'm emotionally supporting you. Do you feel the emotional support?"

Ruby knocked her hand away and said, "Hardy, har, har. See if I ever ask you for help again, I'm going to get Damien to help me. So, there."

Carly rolled her eyes as Ruby stomped off to recruit Damien and a few other boys and Carly went to track down Tyler. She was halfway to the water fountain when she collided, face first, with Tyler's chest. They both bounced back a few feet, either because she had a very hard head (quite likely), or because he had become the Hulk overnight (less likely).

After her head cleared and after he had straightened his shirt, Tyler asked, "You okay? I mean, I know that my abs are so hard, they can be painful."

"More like I have a…you know, either way, I still have a headache. I was just looking for you."

"Because you need to borrow my phone, right?"

"...We spend too much time together. Hand it over." Tyler groaned good naturedly and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

Carly flipped it open and commented, "So, I'm assuming your sisters got to it again."

Tyler eyed his phone, which had been bedazzled, and said, "…Yeah…"

"You need to keep this thing under lock and key."

Carly punched in Kate's number, groaning when the keys stuck a little, and rolled her eyes as Tyler said, "No, my mom needs to take away their bedazzler. I mean, seriously, how many things need to have pink and purple rhinestones on them?"

Carly mouthed, _Everything_, and went on to semi-sing under her breath, "Voicemail, voicemail, please God, let it go to vo-oh-icemail." Tyler raised his eyebrows at her mini-song, but Carly ignored him and smiled as the ringing stopped and it clicked over to voicemail.

"Hey Kate, um, I thought I ought to let you know, I'm grabbing lunch with Tyler and then heading over to his apartment. I'll be back at around…"

Carly trailed off and looked to Tyler for an answer, to which he responded by holding up four fingers.

Carly continued, "Four. I'll be back at around four. Bye."

She handed Tyler's phone back and said, "Thanks Ty."

He responded, "It's the least I can do, seeing as I'm going to beat your sorry ass at Just Dance 4."

"Mhmm, whatever keeps you from crying."

* * *

"Okay class, that's it for today. Great job and we'll see you all next week." Mary smiled as the class disbanded, boys filtering off into the boys dressing room and the girls rushing to the girls dressing room.

Ruby bumped Carly's hip with her own and said excitedly, "Guess who Damien knows!"

Carly opened her locker and pulled out her change of clothes and said, "The mayor."

"No."

Carly paused in pulling off her shirt and said, "The governor."

"God, no. His mom's sister's son is…wait for it…Justin…Bieber."

Carly dropped her tank top into her bag and tried to remain calm as she pulled her t-shirt on and stepped out of her sweat pants. Finally, after she was completely redressed, she said, "You're serious?"

Ruby nodded her head giddily and said, "I am dead freaking serious. Damien said he'd pull some strings and guilt trip his mom into guilt tripping his aunt into guilt tripping Justin into performing at the Halloween party!"

"NICE."

"I know, right? So, are you more excited about it now?"

"Yes, totally yes. Where's it gonna be this year?"

"My dad bought another nightclub and before they open their doors, he's gonna let me have the party there."

"NICER. Oh, crap, I'm meeting Ty, I gotta run. I'll see you next week and I'll help with preparations, kay?"

"Mhmm, whatever, just give dear Tyler a kiss for me, would you?"

"Oh, shut up."

Carly stepped out of the dressing room and promptly tripped over her own feet. After properly greeting the floor, she stood back up and rubbed her nose in apology.

"So, Carlini, you gonna keep falling for me or can we go?" Carly glanced up and saw Tyler leaning against the wall of the boys' dressing room, grinning as Carly scowled at him.

"I'm not falling for you. I'm falling for…um… Man, I don't win in any scenario, do I?"

"No, you don't, you really don't. May I offer you my arm, m'lady."

"And we're back to the knight!"

"We never really left the knight, m'lady." Carly linked her arm around Tyler's offered one and they stepped out of the dance room.

Tyler asked, "Are you going to be the navigator again? Because if so, let me call my mom and tell her I love her."

"Tyler, I'm not above cutting off your cojones and feeding them to the pigeons."

"…You suddenly remind me of my grandmother. You know, the angry, quarter Puerto Rican one."

"Awww, she threatened to cut off your cojones, too?"

"No, but she threatened my grandfather. Still does, every freaking family holiday, even though Gramps is deaf. So, now, she uses hand signals to demonstrate exactly how she plans to go about it."

"This explains so much."

"Oh, hush. …This way m'lady."

* * *

"We really shouldn't play this on a full stomach. I swear, I think I'm going to be sick." Tyler groaned and rubbed his stomach in such a way that Carly was reminded of Al from 'Married…with Children'.

She bit back a giggle.

Carly and Tyler were sprawled across Tyler's couch. The couch was an L shape, which made it possible for both of them to be stretched out, Carly's feet in Tyler's lap and Tyler's legs stretched across the outcropping of the couch.

They stared at the flashing television screen that was announcing a tie, and Carly said, "I concur. This thing ought to come with a warning sign: 'If you've eaten in the last year, do _not_ play, under _any _circumstances.' Or, they should at least include barf bags or something."

"No argument from over here." They fell silent and watched as the person on screen started doing some dance move that looked completely unnatural.

Carly twisted her head sideways to get a better view and commented, "It looks like he has no bones."

They watched for a few more moments before Tyler suggested, "TV?" Carly nodded her head, still transfixed.

* * *

Sleep would never come easily. Nor would escape, it seemed. And, because Kate and Rick were still up (at two in the freaking morning. Seriously, GO TO FREAKING SLEEP, ALREADY), Carly was confined to her room, where she had retreated to 'go to sleep' almost four hours previously.

She'd counted sheep, had recited as many boring monologues as she could think of, had done anything and everything that she knew could induce sleep, but still, she lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Happy things, she thought. Think happy things. Happy things…

* * *

_Tick. Tick. Tick. The clock is mocking her._

(you can hear the rhythm of the ripples on the side of the boat, as you sail away to dreamland, high above the moon you hear a silvery note_) _

_"Carly, bow your head." _

_"Why?" _

_(_sleepy hands are creeping to the end of the clock, play a lullaby in ragtime_) _

_"Dammit, because we're God fearing people. Do it, Carly." _

_"No." _

_Her head is pushed down with such force that it slams into the dining table. And then it's silent, oh so silent. Everyone is watching her, her foster parents looking smug, her foster siblings looking terrified. _

_(_you can tell the sandman is on his way, by the way that they play, as still as the trill of a thrush in a twilight high_) _

_Her foster father begins prayer, such a fucking hypocrite (move your head Carly, check for blood, check for headache, check for double vision). Her foster mother taps her fingers against the mahogany table, the too long nails clicking, making a hollow sound (they're claws, painted blood red, that's what they are, they scratch and leave scars). _

_And then, dinner is over, the children sent to their rooms. All except one, who is grabbed by the back of her shirt and dragged into the kitchen. _

_(_won't you play the music so the cradle can rock_. No, dammit, let the music stop, allow the cradle to break, everything has to break) _

_"Carly, we expect you to listen when we tell you something." Oh, shit, her foster mom is turning into a dragon, a fire breathing, scar leaving dragon and, fuck, her foster dad is coming at her. Pushes her down to her knees. _

_The dragon approaches (shit, she didn't hit her head that hard, did she?), her voice is muffled, but her shoe is not as it collides with her ribs. Another kick to the stomach has her down on the floor, biting her lip to keep from crying. Her stomach still bears the bruises from the night before and, shit, it feels like she's on fire, she just wants to scream and cry and beg for death already. _

_"Carly, are you ready to apologize?" _

_"Fuck you." _

_And she's usually smart when it comes to this, she's usually quiet and quick to apologize, only if it'd stop the pain, but something has snapped, whether it be her ribs or her sanity. A kick to the face shuts her up. _

_And someone is sitting her up, more like forcing her to, but suddenly the dragon is eye level and she says, "You will not disobey. Girls who disobey end up on street corners or dead." _

_Slap. _

_"You will not disobey." _

_Slap. _

_"You will not disobey." _

_(_so rock-a-by my baby, don't you cry my baby_) _

_Slap. _

_"You will not disobey. Do you understand, Carly?" _

_Slap. _

_"I expect you to fucking answer me." _

_"Rot in hell." _

_Kick to the stomach, slap to the face, shit, the dragon is kneeling over her, just slapping her and punching her and, shit, her foster father is kicking her in the back. _

_(_so rock-a-by my baby, don't you cry my baby. _No, let her fucking cry, she just wants to cry) _

_And then it's over. The dragon is gone, and she's getting carried into a room. Fuck, what is going on, this hasn't happened before, they usually just leave her where she lay. And she's still foggy, her head still pounding, and her foster father is no longer her foster father, but he's turning into a wolf, a huge, disgusting wolf with huge, yellow eyes that are looking at her in a way they shouldn't. _

_(_so rock-a-by my baby, don't you cry my baby_)_

_His hands are huge and everywhere and when she tries to squirm away, he's holding her down and, shit, why can't he just let her go? She can't help it now, tears are freely falling and he slaps her face and tells her to shut the fuck up. _

_(_so rock-a-by my baby, don't you cry my baby…_)_

* * *

Carly didn't wake up, so much as be jolted into consciousness when her face connected with the floor as she tumbled out of her bed. She assumed that she had been thrashing around whilst she had been dreaming and it had caused her to roll off, but at that particular moment, she was cursing out the inventor of gravity. And the inventor of nightmares, but hell, she did that all the time.

* * *

**And that is where I leave you. I hope you enjoyed and I'd love a review. :)**

**Note: The words that weren't italicized and were in parentheses are the lyrics to a lullaby called Ragtime Lullaby. If anyone is interested, I've posted the link to it on my profile. **


	35. Chapter 35

**So, I apologize for the long wait, I just started an acting workshop and, God, it's taking up _way_ too much time. Anyway, WARNING: I won't say much, but it's slightly gruesome. Or dark. Well, more dark than gruesome. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Boo.**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

Self-medication was something that Carly knew very well, something that she was quite accomplished at, and something that absolutely revolted her. Which, of course, compelled her to abandon any hopes to fall back asleep and creep out of her room and down the stairs.

She debated going straight to Mason's and chain smoking and then doing some other things that would probably make her hate herself (more than normal) in the morning, but when she glanced towards the kitchen, she didn't really have any thoughts other than how damn good it would feel to have a shard blade pressed against her skin. Better than a cigarette to her lips, better than…well, better than many, many things.

_One knife, I just need one sharp knife_, Carly thought to herself as she moved towards the kitchen, her feet moving of their own accord.

A needling voice in the back of Carly's mind whispered, "Think of the words, dearie, think of the words."

Carly muttered, "Shut it."

And then the chorus started up, a voice in her head for every word that was carved into her pale skin, each screaming it at the tops of their lungs.

Carly opened drawers with virtually no sound, eyeing each drawer's contents carefully, scouring them for a blade that would do the job quickly. And she found it. It was small, with a black handle and it fit a little too well in Carly's hand.

She pulled her pajama sleeves up so her arms were exposed and for a moment, she just traced the scars with her eyes. There were so many (too many) words on each arm and Carly rubbed her thigh subconsciously, remembering the words she had carved there, too.

She pressed the blade to her left wrist, not breaking the skin, and admired the way the blood rushed to the surface, finally giving her skin some color. She gave the knife some more pressure, sliding it smoothly across the marred skin of her wrist and bit her lip as little beads of blood appeared and grew until the pale skin of her wrist was in stark contrast with the line of red that traced across it.

Damn, she was out of practice. It had once been that she hadn't felt it at all, having to move farther and farther up her arm to get any sense of relief, but she supposed that after two months of not doing it, her nerve endings had fired back up.

The dragon in the back of her mind was getting fuzzier. Another cut and she could just barely remember those long nails tapping against a table. Eyes closed, Carly dropped the knife next to the sink and braced herself on the kitchen counter.

_Breathe, you idiot, breathe_.

In, out, in, out, in, in, in.

Carly opened her eyes and set about making the wolf disappear.

**{/\}**

Five minutes later, Carly's pajama sleeve was sticking to her left arm uncomfortably, the blood darkening the purple fabric, but it was a sight and a feeling she was used to. She washed the knife off, letting her hands sit under the scalding water for a few moments too long, relishing in the fact that she was actually _feeling_ something again.

Dr. G had told her that physical numbness was a coping method, that it gave the mind a chance to process information without the annoying job of telling her she was in pain, but after weeks of nothing, she was sick of it.

She wanted to feel everything, every cut, every jolt, anything just to remind her that she was alive. So, to her, it was a pleasant sensation, being able to feel physical pain again.

Carly dried the knife and replaced it in its proper place, taking extra care to not slam the drawer shut. In her other homes, no one had given a damn about whether or not she was up and cutting in the middle of the night, but Carly had a strong feeling that that would not be the case in the Castle household. And she also had a strong feeling that if anyone had caught her in that kitchen with a knife to her wrist, they would not have been as calm in handling the situation.

Or, maybe, that may have been, which might have been worse because then, she'd feel bad and guilty and God, she hated that. Well, more than she hated everything else.

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

When Carly woke up, she didn't remember her rendezvous with that little knife. She was in her pajamas, in her bed, with the door closed, in the exact same position she had fallen asleep in (well, fallen asleep the first time). It was only when she went to take her hair out of its nightly ponytail that she noticed the dark stain on her sleeve or the painful way it was sticking to her wrist. A wave of dread washed over her.

_No, no, not again_.

Last time she had done something that stupid, she had ended up worse off than she was before. She dropped her hair and peeled back her sleeve carefully, wincing as the skin pulled at it, and resisted the urge to scream when she saw what she had done to herself…again. About a dozen neat little railroad track-like cuts sat defiantly on her wrist, intermingling with the scars from her past mishaps with knives.

"Shit."

She patted her right arm and her legs, making sure that there was no blast of pain to signify she had gone further than just one relatively small space on her left wrist. It all flooded back; the nightmare, the knife, the blood, oh God, the blood.

"Feeling kind of stupid, aren't you Curly?"

Carly tensed. One person and one person only ever called her that, and that person was dead. She waited a few moments, praying that it was just her desperate imagination creating the voice, because going slightly crazy…she was surprisingly okay with it, as opposed to a zombie. Carly whipped around and saw Elena perched on the edge of her bed, looking as alive as ever, blonde hair shining, brown eyes sparkling, with her perfectly manicure hands folded delicately in her lap.

"Ah, so now you notice me. Thanks, I feel ever so appreciated."

"Are you…how…why…?"

"Never one for complete sentences, were we?"

"I-I…"

"You what, Carly? You what?"

Elena's voice had a menacing edge in it, one that Carly had heard once, maybe twice before, but never directed at her, because, while normally she's Carly freaking Hayes and she's bulletproof, Elena always took on the role as the stronger one in their friendship, always being the one to take the full force of the blow or insult. Never, _never_, had she ever talked to Carly like that.

"That's what I thought."

Elena got up from the bed and crossed to stand right in front of Carly, her eyes alight with an intimidating type of fire, a, dare she say it, scary fire. Elena placed her hands on Carly's arm and pressed down on the cuts. Carly bit her lip to keep from screaming.

"You _promised_ me that you would _never_ do this again. You _promised_, Carly. I thought you kept your promises."

Carly opened her mouth to say something, to ease her friend's mind, but then Elena was gone and Carly was left alone, with her own hand where Elena's had been, pressing down on the raw cuts, feeling the tiniest bit of blood seep onto her fingers. Carly dropped her arm abruptly, the sudden movement causing some more pain.

It was official. Caroline Hayes was losing it. Carly snorted. More like, lost it.

But her smirk died because of the knock on her door, and a voice saying, "Carly? Are you up?"

Carly yanked her sleeve down, not caring about the burst of pain that was caused by it, and dove back into bed, burying her head under the covers. She was very good at pretending to be asleep, a trick she had perfected after her first year in the system.

"Carly?"

Carly shut her eyes tightly, praying, no, not praying, hoping that Kate would go away for another hour or two, thereby giving her enough time to figure out what the hell was happening to her.

"Aren't you going to answer the door?"

And Elena was back.

"Come on, Curly, answer the damn door, she's annoying me."

Finally, after another round of knocking, Carly slid out of bed and threw the door open and screamed. And then, the dragon was back and so was the wolf and, damn, _he_ was there too, offering her a cigarette and all she wanted to do was slam the door shut.

And then her door opened.

Carly was confused, thinking that she had been at the door, but Kate stepped in and asked, "Are you okay? I've been knocking on your door for the past five minutes and then you screamed."

Carly looked around. She was standing in the middle of the room, right hand gripping her left wrist tightly, and no Elena, no wolf, no dragon, no _him_ in sight. Carly dropped her arm quickly, strategically sliding it behind her in a way that she hoped look casual.

She answered, "Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"And the scream?"

"I saw a spider. Over there."

Carly pointed in a vague direction and repeated, "I'm fine. Seriously."

Kate watched her in concern for a few minutes and then said, "Alright. Oh, before I forget, do you want to come with us to the precinct or do you want to go to school and help in the office?"

Carly said, "Oh, I guess the precinct. It'll give me some time to work on an essay."

Kate nodded and walked out, but not before sending one more concerned glance over her shoulder. As soon as the door closed, Carly let out a sigh of relief. She rolled her sleeve back up and looked at it. The lines of red were still there. Damn, she was hoping that those had been imagined as well.

A voice whispered, "Try and run Carly, we'll always find you…"

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**Um...wow. I'm not sure what happened with...that, but for anyone that was confused by the last part, Carly was hallucinating. _Yay_. Anywhos, I'll probably be updating in the next two weeks or so (fingers crossed!). ...I'd love a review, you know. :)**


	36. Chapter 36

**So, ahem, about the last chapter... ...Actually, I have no way to explain that, other than the fact that I was watching some abnormal psychology show on Discovery Health. So...yeah. Anyway, to make up for the chaos that was chapter thirty-five, here's chapter thirty six! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

"Given the lack of immediate respect in modern human society, the average person has to earn respect amongst peers by…by…"

Carly muttered the sentence to herself, trying it out to see how well it flowed, but was stumped on what to finish it with. She diverted her attention to her notes, followed the giant neon green arrow she had drawn to her hypothesis and started constructing her new sentence with what had been scribbled around said hypothesis.

She whispered to herself, "Given the lack of immediate respect in modern human society, the average person has to earn respect amongst peers by doing things that are considered 'good' by today's moral and ethical standards."

Carly scrutinized her new intro, made a few corrections and set about turning that intro into a full-fledged paragraph, which, fingers crossed, would turn into a four-to-five paged essay. It didn't, but it did succeed in distracting her from the happenings of the morning. For the time being, that is.

After a few moments of staring at her now blank paper, Carly shook her head and cracked her knuckles and glanced around. People (read: police) were coming and going, some carrying manila folders filled with what was most likely cases, some clutching coffee mugs like their lives depended on it, and a handful were sitting at desks and making calls. Can anyone say boring?

Carly was starting to wish she had gone to school and organized health forms. And then, as if some higher power smiled down on her (FINALLY), there was some chaos. And she wasn't the root of it. There was a crash, a shriek, some muffled yelling, and finally silence.

Carly craned her neck to see what was going on and saw some guy struggling against two officers. She disregarded it, mostly because no one else was panicking, and turned her attention back to her would-be essay. And then she heard it.

"GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF ME, YOU SONS OF BITCHES!"

Carly snapped her head up. She knew that voice. She strained to see the struggling man's face. And then, her view was blocked by something that suspiciously resembled Kate.

"Don't worry about that, we always have a suspect causing problems at _least_ once a month."

Kate moved to the coffee machine and when Carly glanced back, the guy was gone.

Kate looked at Carly's blank paper and commented, "Wow, you really have made a lot of progress on that essay of yours."

Carly rolled her eyes and said, "I blame my squirrel like attention span. I wouldn't happen to be able to also blame you for that particular trait, would I?"

"No such luck, kid."

"Well, darn."

"What's your essay about?"

"No clue."

"Well, what do you want it to be about?"

"Again, no clue."

Kate raised her eyebrows and Carly cried, "I'm a teenager! I'm allowed to be lazy and unproductive. In fact, it's practically required and I've been sorely lacking in that department."

"I didn't say anything."

Carly sputtered for a moment, but before she could fully articulate her thought, there was another crash and Kate looked out the door of the break room.

"Stay in here, alright?" Carly nodded and she hurried out.

There was some more muffled yells, someone saying, "Mr. Clayton, calm down!", and then what sounded like a fight. Or, not quite a fight. Maybe a scuffle. Or a mini-brawl. Carly finally settled on the word scuffle. It just sounded right.

And then the scuffle ended and there was silence once again. The quiet was broken by the soft _shshing_ sound of someone dragging their feet across the floor. And then, so very suddenly, 'Mr. Clayton' was in her direct line of sight, right in front of the break room door, being led towards interrogation in handcuffs. He turned his head just so, the graying brown hair that she remembered so clearly swinging out of his face, and he saw her.

He stopped in his tracks, causing the detective behind him to stumble slightly. Carly stood up quickly, letting her papers and notebooks slide off her lap and crash to the floor. She really didn't want to, she wanted to stay sitting and duck her head so that he couldn't see her face because, dammit, he didn't deserve that. But that instinct to hide apparently had been replaced by one to confront. Damn, she liked it better when she hid and then quietly took revenge.

And then she realized what an idiot she looked like (although, he, being six feet and nine inches, blocked most of the doorway), so she quickly kneeled down and shoved her papers into a haphazard pile before she moved to her left, just out of his line of sight.

She heard his voice saying, "Caroline," in that same sad tone, the voice he used when he wanted her to do something, to get him something (usually a beer or a needle, it all depended on the day), and then he was gone, being pushed forward by the detective that was holding his arms.

After a beat, the eerie silence that had settled was replaced by the ringing of telephones and people talking and papers shuffling. Carly sat down heavily, and propped her head up on her hand and closed her eyes. Last time she had seen him…his hair wasn't as gray nor as long, he hadn't been conscious, and he had reeked of cheap tequila. But it was him, she knew. Even if he hadn't said her name, she knew.

Her father was back.

* * *

**So, in my mind, after Carly's little, um, episode, she's a little less...well, Carly. Less prickly, I guess, a little more at ease. Like she's slowly exorcising her ghosts, or some crap like that. Oh, and I'll try to update as soon as possible, but it may be a little while, as a friend I haven't seen in a year is in town...so, yeah. Anyway, please review! **


	37. Chapter 37

**Hi all! So...this chapter is filler. But it's long filler! And slightly controversial (according to my family and friends, that is) filler. But, it's all I got. **

**WARNING: THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE CONTAINS EXTREME VENTING!**

**I swear, I am seriously debating just having Carly walk in front of a speeding taxi and be done with it. It's getting very difficult to write her, as she's somehow freeformed into this character that is so far from what I had had in mind, and she's taken the story with her. I meant to be done with the story by chapter thirty, but here I am, at chapter thirty-seven, and still so, _so_ far from where I want to end it. **

**But, don't worry, this isn't my roundabout way of telling you loyal readers that I'm ending the story, it is simply me venting to people that will (hopefully!) understand, because it seems that when I tell my family any of this, they just respond with concerned looks and whispers of whether or not I should be seeing a psychiatrist. :P **

**Anyway, just to be clear, I _am_ most definitely seeing this story through to the end (wherever that may be, or however long it takes). It's the longest story of mine, the one with the most reviews, and the only one that I have stuck with for more than three months. Alright, I'm done. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. But I own Carly and Tyler and that slick guy that goes by the name of Mason. Blech.**

* * *

_Her father was back._

It was all Carly could think about. Three words just circled her thoughts, each time sounding more and more unreal. She could've just imagined it; she had a pretty overactive imagination. But that wasn't the answer, she knew. He was back, he had seen her, and, oh, God, he could find her. It wasn't exactly the hardest to get information out of CPS workers; she knew that for a fact.

She had weaseled her medical history out of one harried worker a few months prior, had obtained the official adoption records that were held on file. It wouldn't take much for a man with extensive military training to get an address. And that knowledge set Carly even more on edge. Thankfully, it seemed as though her hallucinations had quieted for the time being, so it gave Carly the chance to worry about the new development in depth.

Carly rolled over. She had been tossing and turning for hours, it seemed. She couldn't hear voices or footsteps from the other side of the wall, so she assumed that Kate and Rick were in for the night, but she just couldn't bring herself to go down to Mason's. Instead, she lay in bed, stubbornly attempting to fall asleep.

Finally, after attempting to work on homework, she gave up and let her resolution dissolve. Carly pulled a jacket on and slipped out her door. She stopped and listened for a moment before continuing down the stairs. She was either too tired or too lazy to get the spare key, and instead just made sure that she had a lock-pick in her back pocket, which she did (like always).

The elevator ride was quick, and didn't give Carly the chance to think about what she was about to do. When she reached the lobby, she strode out to the street and sat down next to Mason, who was at his normal spot on the curb. She held out a hand and waggled her fingers. Mason raised his eyebrows and Carly responded with a roll of her eyes.

"Just give me one, would you?"

Mason smirked, "Someone's touchy tonight."

"You have no idea."

"Tell me?"

"Light me?"

He lit her cigarette and she hesitated for the briefest of moments before inhaling. The immediate rush was dizzying and Carly choked a little on the thick smoke that filled her lungs.

After she quit coughing, Mason queried, "You alright?"

Carly rasped, "I'm fine. It's just been a little while."

He nodded and they smoked in silence. Every few minutes, Carly would swear that she saw her father and jump a little, none of which was missed by Mason.

"What wrong?"

"Nothing."

She reached for another cigarette, her first one's butt was still smoldering by her boot, but Mason held the pack just out of her reach, and said, "Tell me what's wrong, or I'm cutting you off."

Carly let out a little bark of disbelieving laughter. "I thought you were an enabler."

"I am. I am also a negotiator, and a pretty damn good one at that."

Carly bit her lip and, after thinking for a few moments, decided that another cigarette was worth telling all. "My dad's back."

"Oh…?"

"He hit me. A lot, and then walked out on me, and now he's back."

"But I thought that you were in foster care…?"

"I am, but it's always temporary custody. Even now, with the Castles, it's temporary, because I've never been able to declare him dead, and he's been using the bank accounts, so…he still…he can...he still has full custody. He can come and snatch me away at any time, and no one would be able to do a damn thing."

Carly was surprised at how easily the words had tumbled out of her mouth.

Mason questioned, "Why don't you tell everyone that he hit you? Wouldn't you be able to get away from him then?"

"I…he…it's been four years. I don't have any physical evidence anymore, except for scars, and then it's my word against his. He's a veteran, for Christ's sake! Who would you believe? A teenager with a list of bad habits up to here, or an army veteran?"

Mason let her retrieve a cigarette, threw an arm over her shoulder, and whispered, "For what it's worth, I'd believe you, bad habits and all." Carly looked down at her unlit cigarette, felt a little pang of guilt, and handed it back to Mason.

"Let's go up to your apartment, okay? I just…I need to escape for a little while."

* * *

It was dark when Carly woke up. It was dark, and she was warm, and she could've sworn that she wasn't in her own room. Oh, wait, that's because she wasn't. Carly's eyes shot open as she felt a wiry arm tighten around her waist. _Oh dear Lord_. She looked over and saw Mason's face, eyes still thankfully closed. And that's when she realized that she was missing several choice articles of clothing (read: all).

Carly slipped out from under his arm and quickly pulled a baggy shirt over her head. She tried to remember exactly what had happened that night and suddenly, it all flooded back. They had been smoking and then kissing and then, oh, _crap_.

After sending a furtive look over her shoulder to ensure that her bedmate was still sleeping, Carly gathered her clothes off the ground and started to get dressed. Or, erm, _re_ least for this particular walk of shame, there were no witnesses. As she moved stealthily down the carpeted hallway, she caught sight of her reflection in an ornately decorated mirror. Her hair was wild, her eyes tired and guilty, and was that–? Oh, yes, it was a hickey. Of course, because a hickey was just the thing she needed.

Any and all cosmetics she may have owned had slowly been lost or stolen, causing her to be left with one, solitary bottle of foundation that was probably several months past when she should have thrown it out, and she doubted if it'd do any good against the telltale mark on her neck. She'd just have to wear turtlenecks for the next week and a half.

She heard Mason rolling over in his bed and she knew that if she were to escape without a messy 'Last night wasn't a mistake' speech and the ensuing 'Yes, it was, I'm not that type of girl' speech (and who was she kidding? She was _so_ that type of girl), she'd have to leave. Like, right then.

So, she didn't bother trying to actually get her boots on, instead she just grabbed them and slipped out the door. The elevator doors were sliding shut when she saw him poke his head out of his front door and scan the hallway before his eyes locked with hers. She turned her gaze to her feet.

* * *

"…and because of the sexual revolution, writers began being much more straight-forward about sexuality. Judy Blume wrote Forever in the early seventies, it was published in 1975, and it was banned from some schools soon after. While Ms. Blume is well known amongst children for her Fudge books and books of that nature– Miss. Hayes, do you have something you'd like to share with the class?"

Carly looked up, startled, from where she had been sketching an intricate Celtic knot on her handout and stammered, "No, ma'am."

Her teacher, Miss. Diablo, a tall, lean woman, glowered down at her. "Then I'd appreciate it if you would pay attention to what is being taught in class." She raised her voice to address the entire classroom. "Last class of the day, people! Pay attention! That means you, Mr. Mills, so please, get your head off your desk, wake up, and take notes!"

A boy in the back of the classroom, third year eighth grader from what Carly had heard, jerked his head up abruptly, mumbling, "Wazzgoinon?"

Miss. Diablo threw the papers she held into the air (out of all of Carly's teachers, Miss. Diablo was the most dramatic, not counting her drama teacher) and said, "Alright, I give up. We'll pick up again tomorrow. For the remaining, oh God, thirty seven minutes, talk amongst yourselves." She turned to the whiteboard muttering, "I've lost complete control."

Carly immediately swiveled her seat around to face Penelope and Hannah, while Fiona rolled her chair around desks to join them. Penelope and Fiona tittered over something some boy had said during some class, while Hannah rounded on Carly.

"When were you going to tell us that you have not only met Richard Castle, but are actually the biological daughter of his wife?"

Carly looked up sharply and hissed, "Please, say it louder, Han, I don't think Kim Jong Il heard you."

Hannah lowered her voice a little and then said, "Well, sor-_ry_. I just thought that that was some pretty big news."

At this point, Penelope and Fiona had stopped talking and had turned their attention to Carly, watching her with curiosity in their identical sets of wide eyes.

Carly dropped her pencil and whispered, "I didn't think it was very important in light of what was going on with…you know."

Fiona asked, "Did Elena know? Did you tell her before she…before that bitch k…God, I can't say it."

Penelope snapped, "Before the bitch killed her. Did she know before she died?"

Carly rolled her eyes and said, "I didn't even know. And would you stop talking like we're from Pretty Little Liars? There isn't a conspiracy and no one going by the initial 'A' has it out for us. …As far as I know anyway."

Hannah quipped, "I am _so_ Hanna. I mean, I already have the name and the hair, it's, like, karma. …And wouldn't it be 'E' instead of 'A'? You know, 'cause it's not 'Alison'?"

Penelope corrected her. "Kismet, Han, it'd be kismet. And if you're Hanna, then I'm Emily. Minus the lesbian thing."

Fiona, who lived with her sister and their dads, growled, "Have something against gays?"

"No, God no, my brother's gay, remember? I just…I r_eally_ like boys."

Fiona calmed down and said, "Alright, then I'm Spencer. So, Carly, that leaves you with Aria."

Carly stated, "First off, I am not making out with my English teacher. Secondly, I am not making eyes at the guy who may or may not have killed my friend, mostly because he's a she and that she is Gretchen so…ugh. Thirdly, I don't have a brother, and if I did, he would not be breaking into homes. Fourthly–"

Fiona broke in, "If you keep talking, _I'm_ going to kill you and then we really _can_ be like Pretty Little Liars. How's that sound?"

Carly snipped, "Pushy, pushy."

Hannah questioned, somewhat dazedly, "What were we talking about again?"

"Carly's lack of sharing," Penelope reminded her gently.

"Oh, right. So, Carly, why, exactly, have we, your bestest friends in the _entire_ world, have not heard about this? …Although, we probably should have noticed. I mean, you're like, uh…what's the word…?"

Fiona supplied, "Spitting image?"

"Yeah, you're the spitting image of her."

Carly rolled her eyes and said, "I am _not_."

Penelope commented, "Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

"When does this class end, exactly?"

Fiona snapped, "Twenty minutes. Now, why did we have to find out through loudmouth Loretta James who read it on some blog?"

Hannah corrected her, "Magazine. She read it on a blog _and _a magazine."

"Whatever. So, Carly, care to explain?"

Carly huffed, "It's not a big deal. I just got moved to a new foster home."

Penelope said, "But she's your birth-mom. That doesn't sound a lot like a new foster home to me."

Hannah cut in, "It is _so_ a big deal! You know my mother basically worships the guy. I swear, if my dad hadn't drawn the line, she'd have a shrine in the back of her closet."

Carly responded, "It's not that big of a deal! She's still who she is and I'm still who I am, end of story. It's not like either of us asked for this. And Han…ew. Just, ew."

While Hannah sputtered, Penelope said, "God, you make it sound like she's giving you a kidney or something. I think that give– …What's that on your neck? Is that a…?"

Carly rushed to pull her sweater's neck up a little higher, but was too late.

"Oh, my God, it _is_. You have a hickey on your neck! Who was it this time? Some hardened bad boy with a motorcycle? A sensitive poet that cries over Cheerios?"

Carly looked at the clock handing over the doorway and said, "Oh, look, class is over. I'll see you guys tomorrow!"

She shoved her books into a pile, hefted them into her arms, and dashed out of the classroom, throwing a quick, "Bye Miss. Diablo," over her shoulder.

Fiona called after her, "This discussion is not over!"

* * *

"Now class, today we are going to begin working with oil paints. There will be a demo next week, but first, I'd like you all to brainstorm a subject. It can be anything; a person, a place, maybe you want to paint your favorite toy from your childhood. Like I said, it can be anything. Start sketching, and if by the end of class, you _don't _have an idea, feel free to take your sketchbook home to brainstorm there. Inspiration can strike at any time. Begin."

Carly's art instructor, Senora Bernolotti (better known as Senora B.) set her hands on her hips and smiled as her students flipped open their sketchbooks and started studying their surroundings. Carly figured that there was never a better time to confront her.

So, she slid off her painter's stool and walked over slowly, dreading what she was having to do.

Senora B. looked over and smiled. "What can I do for you, Carly?"

"I'd…I'd like to withdraw my art from the show." The smile slid off of Senora B.'s face.

She frowned slightly and asked, "Why? It's quite good. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have included it."

Carly said, "I…I know. I just…it's just that those are personal."

"But the more personal, the better. You know that, Carly. It's a shame for your work to collect dust in storage. Why not have it on display, where the world can see it?"

"Senora…"

"Think about it. I have three weeks until I have to confirm the pieces for the show. Wait until then to decide for real, alright?" Carly bit her lip and nodded hesitantly.

Senora B. grinned and said, "Magnifico. Now, go and sketch. I expect a top quality oil painting out of you."

Carly rolled her eyes, only half-jokingly, and returned to her seat, where she started at the blank sheet of sketching paper before her. It took half the class, but she finally had an idea.

* * *

**Please review! **

**P.S.**

**Despite my vent at the top, I really do love Carly and this story and all the chaos that comes with writing it. It's just...sometimes...GAH!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Unless you count owning the first two seasons on DVD, but, apparently, most lawyers don't.**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

Carly was just stepping out into the biting October air, when she felt someone grab her wrist. Had she had her wits about her, she'd have decked her assailant, but she never really had her wits about her, so instead she just stood still, shocked, until she recognized the mess of blond hair.

"Tyler? What the _hell_ are you doing here?"

Tyler grinned sheepishly and asked, "Can't I just be taking a little walk?"

Carly yanked her hand back and said, "Not if you live twenty blocks over and are supposed to be taking your little sisters to ballet and swimming."

Tyler grew nervous under Carly's scrutinizing gaze and admitted, "I was waiting for you."

Carly broke out into a grin and said, "That's all I was looking for. Whatcha need?"

"It's not so much what I need, as opposed to what I can do for you."

"Oh no, whenever you start a sentence like that, I end up covering for your sorry ass."

"Hey! I have covered for your sorry ass times aplenty!"

"Oh, God, and now you're talking like a Southern grandmother. Buy me some coffee, and I'll think about it."

"Deal."

Five minutes later, Carly sipped her coffee gratefully and said, "Alright, lay it on me."

Tyler smiled down at her and said, "Okay, my aunt's getting married, and–"

Carly asked, "The one with the four dead husbands?"

"No, the one with the weird hair."

"Ohhh…"

"Right, so, she finally found someone that can handle…that mess, and I need a date." Carly raised her eyebrows. "No, not like that! I mean, I need someone to sit next to me and dance with me so that my other aunt – the one with the four dead husbands – won't try to set me up with one of her students. She runs the charm school upstate and let me tell you, those girls are _not_ charming."

Carly smirked into her coffee and said, "Well, you're really selling me on this."

"Oh, shut up."

"When is it?"

"December fourteenth."

"Ah, so is this your early-slash-late birthday present for me? A date with you?"

Tyler stopped walking and took up a look of mock hurt. "My lady, you _know_ that I spend months searching for the perfect present for you– although, I _am_ pretty amazing –but that's beside the point. Anyway, no, I'm not your 'early-slash-late' birthday present. That is just going to have to wait a few months. I was just asking you now, so that you most likely won't have any plans."

Carly laughed a little (and pretended to ignore the way that Tyler smiled when she did so, he did _not_ like her that way) and said, "I'll check. I'll let you know on Sunday? Besides, there are probably thousands of girls just dying for you to ask them as your non-date to your aunt's wedding. By the way, is it black tie, or more casual?"

"I'm sure that anything you pick will be stunning."

"Oh, big words!"

"It's true."

Carly stopped abruptly at the suddenly serious tone that Tyler had switched to. She covered her surprise quickly. "Liar."

Tyler just chuckled and kept walking.

**{/\}**

"I hate to say it, Carlini, but you got us lost. Again."

Carly stuck her tongue out and muttered, "Go fu–"

"Children! Children in the area!" Tyler gestured wildly to a mother and her two children that were walking out of a book shop.

Carly rolled her eyes and said, "They're not even listening. …I feel like we should be calling somebody."

Tyler slapped his forehead and explained, "Yes, Carly, they're called parents. They pick us up when we get lost, because _somebody_ decided not to memorize the walk back to her apartment!"

"Someone's PMSing."

"No, I'm really not. I'm just worried about the fact that it's pitch black, and my mom's probably frantic, and yours is probably the same. Do you know how many kids are picked off the street and are straight up murdered?"

Carly poked Tyler's cheek and, after he swatted her hand away, said, "You're funny when you're frantic. And stop being such a wuss."

Tyler again swatted her hand away from his face and cried, "I'm not being a wuss! I just would rather live to see my graduation."

"We're not gonna be killed. What, with a big, strong man like you around? Pah!"

"If I didn't believe in not hitting women, I'd punch you right about now. No, I mean, seriously."

"Strong words for such a little man. Hand over your phone."

"I am nearly five seven, and still growing, thank you, and you are not calling my mother. She'll kill me. And then bring me back to kill me again. And then she'll make Jackie clean up the mess, so Jackie'll bring me back to life to clean it up, and that'll make my mom crazier, so she'll kill Jackie and me, and then sell my skateboard and laptop to boot. Do you want me to be killed, resurrected, killed, resurrected, killed again, and have my things sold off to pay for the burials? Do you, woman?"

"When'd you go black on me?"

"Once you go black, you never go back."

Carly looked up at him, raised an eyebrow, and asked, "Do you even know what that actually means?"

Tyler grinned and said, "No, and don't kill my childlike belief that it means nothing sexual."

"Mhmm, whatever…" Tyler watched her carefully, scared of what she was planning, but relaxed when she said, "I'm not going to call your mom, I'm not an idiot and I don't want you dead…yet."

"Then what do you want my phone for?"

"Well, for one thing, I want to make fun of the rhinestones." Tyler scowled while Carly continued, "And _I_ have people that I can call. God, you're not the only one with people willing to drive to God knows where to pick you up."

Tyler muttered something incomprehensible under his breath and then asked, "Who are you going to call, exactly?"

"…Not sure."

"So, we're back at square one. How long have we been wandering?"

"Twenty minutes, you wimp."

"And the abuse continues."

Carly stuck her tongue out at Tyler. After a beat, he slipped off his coat and draped it over her shoulders. While she enjoyed the warmth (not to mention the smell; all warm and Tyler-y), it dwarfed her, so she shrugged it off and handed it back to him.

"I'm fine," she promised. He held it back out to her.

"Come on, Carly, it's freaking freezing out here. God, what is it? Negative ten? Negative twenty?"

"I can last. You, on the other hand, will freeze to death."

"You're smaller than me."

"It's only fifty something."

"Forty something, according to my watch."

"Well, I can only barely see my breath, and that's only if I breathe hard, so I'd say we'll be fine as long as it doesn't get colder."

"Can you just stop being so stubborn and let us get a cab or something?"

"I don't have cash on me, and I refuse to let you pay for me again. If you want to get a cab, go ahead, but I'm hoofing it."

"Subway?"

"Can't. Left my pass in my school locker."

"Bus?"

"Banned."

"How can you–? I mean, how would you–?"

"Let's not go into messy details, alright?"

"I'm getting a cab and you are getting in it with me. You can buy me lunch on Sunday."

"Bu–"

"No buts, just get into the cab when I get one over here."

"You're insufferable."

"But, you love me."

"Now when have I ever said that?"

"I can tell. I mean, I'm not dead yet, am I?"

"Are you?"

"Okay, okay, you hate me, I get it."

Carly punched Tyler's shoulder, half-jokingly, half annoyed, but smirked none the less. A few minutes later, they were standing in front of a waiting taxi. "Get in." Tyler gestured to the open cab door.

"I'm never forgiving you for this," Carly said as she clambered into the backseat of the taxi.

"No forgiveness is needed. Not until December. …I'd rather not be murdered at my aunt's wedding."

"Insufferable."

"You see, when you say insufferable, I hear lovable."

"Yes, you're my own personal teddy bear. Are you happy now?"

"Does someone need a hug?" Tyler held his arms out to her and arranged his face in the corresponding 'Oh, you've hurt me so, I deserve a little love' look.

"Come any closer with those and they'll be broken before you know it." Tyler smirked.

**{/\}**

"So…"

"So…"

"I seem to have messed up. And I got us lost. And you had to save the day by getting us a cab."

Tyler prompted, "And…?"

Carly grumbled, "And it dropped another ten degrees and we would've been freezing our asses off if we had walked, so you basically saved my ass from being all frozen."

Again, he prompted, "Aaaannnd…?"

"And I'm sorry. Thanks."

"Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnd…?"

This time, Carly pursed her lips and growled, "What else is there, Ty?"

"I don't know. Just wanted to see how much I could get out of you."

Carly narrowed her eyes and said, "That's counted as extortion."

Tyler rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever. I'll see you on Sunday. …If my mother doesn't murder me. My death will be on your head, understand?"

Carly started to smile a little and she said, "I know, I know. Bring you're A game, Mary's picking pairs for the showcase, and I swear, if you get us passed over one more time…"

"I know, I know, you'll cut off my cojones and feed them to the pigeons. You've been using the same threat for three and a half years. Aren't there other equally painful forms of torture that you could threaten me with? Maybe you could use that tapping thing, you know, when you tap people at certain times, in certain spots, to get them to do what you want? Wouldn't that work better?"

Carly looked up at him and asked, "Been watching Leverage again?"

Tyler ducked his head and said to his feet, "Season three."

"Ah, that explains it. Well, I think that it helps to be a professional con artist, don't you think? That, and having a decade or so to perfect it. Personally, I still align with Eliot."

"I'd have pegged you for Parker."

Carly quirked an eyebrow and Tyler rushed to explain, "I mean, you're both kind of insane, but you…I don't know…love cereal?"

"Ah, yeah, but I don't rappel down buildings or crawl through…wait, I've done that before. Anyway, I don't rappel down buildings. So, ha!"

"We will…you've crawled through…? …Never mind. We'll continue this on Sunday, 'kay?"

"Aye, aye captain." Carly gave his arm a quick squeeze and ducked into the warm lobby.

When she got up to the loft, it was quiet. She couldn't tell whether that meant there wasn't anybody home, or whether it meant something more along the lines of everyone was drugged in a home invasion and she'd be safer if she just turned right around and rode the elevator down to Mason's and…no, she really couldn't handle seeing Mason for at least a week. She wasn't exactly sure of whether or not she could control herself around him. And the thought of losing all sense of control to a _guy_ scared her more than the possibility that she was walking into a home invasion. In fact, a few big baddies with syringes were rather exciting.

But alas, there were no huge guys high on 'roids, toting giant syringes filled with unknown liquids and crowbars. Carly, in all honesty, was slightly disappointed. Instead, there was simply no one home. And, Carly, not one to question a good thing, trudged up the stairs and slammed the door to her room shut. A few minutes later, just as she was starting on the pile of math work that her teacher had assigned, the house phone rang.

Carly jumped a little, startled by the sudden noise that had so rudely interrupted the silence, and automatically got up to go answer, but stopped. She knew that at her former home, the Greens, she was supposed to answer any and all phone calls that happened to come in and take down a message (not doing so resulted in severe punishment), but at the home before that, she wasn't allowed anywhere near a telephone, for fear that whatever illegal business her fosters were in would be jeopardized by a fourteen year old that had a problem with authority and a nasty habit of leaving anonymous tips with the cops.

_Give it a minute, _she thought. _See if they call back_. The phone stopped ringing. A minute later, it started ringing again and Carly decided that she didn't want to chance it if it was some punk trying to see whether or not anyone was home so that he knew whether it was safe for him to break in. She'd really rather not be a casualty of a burglary gone awry. Carly hurried down the stairs and grabbed the phone on the last ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi Carly, I just wanted to make sure you got back alright."

Carly shifted the phone so that it was cradled between her shoulder and her ear and started walking back up the stairs. "Yeah, Kate, I got back just a few minutes ago."

"And you're okay?"

Carly bumped open her door with her hip and answered, "Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I literally, just walked in, like, five minutes ago. I haven't had a chance to set myself on fire yet."

"I didn't hear that, I did not hear that. Anyway, I'm leaving soon and I was going to pick up dinner on my way home. Any preferences?"

"Nope."

"Alright then, I guess I'll see you soon."

"Mhmm. Bye."

"Bye."

Carly hung up and crawled back up onto her bed and flipped open her math textbook. She was halfway through the second page of her homework when a familiar cold feeling spread over her. A beat later, there was a distinct rumble in the background.

_Oh, crap_.

She squeezed her eyes closed and counted down from ten; something Henry had taught her when she was still afraid of dogs. And then she counted back from twenty. Then thirty. Then the rain started.

"No, no, no, no."

Carly slammed her textbook shut, slid off the bed, and crawled over to her duffel bag. It took her a moment, but she eventually found them. Long forgotten charms, each on their own silver chains, but she was searching for a specific pair.

"Hello Saint Dennis, Saint Victor. Haven't seen you two in a while."

Carly hooked the two patron saint necklaces together, and then around her neck. The familiar weight against the base of her throat was comforting and the coolness of the metal calmed her slightly. That is, until the first clap of thunder sounded.

She flinched and muttered, "Oh, you've got to be freaking kidding me."

The flash of lightning that followed had her muttering under her breath, "Angel of God, My Guardian Dear, to whom God's love commits me here. Ever this day be at my side, to light and guard and rule and guide. Amen."

Another clap of thunder. "Not cutting it for you, huh? …Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary–"

A flash of lightning cut her off and she whimpered quietly before continuing, "Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen." There was silence, save for the pounding of rain. And then, BOOM.

Carly whispered to no one in particular, "I _knew_ I should've gone to confession. I _knew_ it."

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

"Angele Dei, qui custos es mei. Me tibi commissum pietate superna. Hac nocte illumina, custodi, rege, et guberna. Amen. Ave Maria–"

"Carly? Are you here?"

Carly dropped the two patron saint charms and tried to yell, "I'm in my room, Kate," but a clap of thunder turned her sentence in a whimper. Carly wriggled further back under her bed and ducked her face down against the floor. She barely heard footsteps above the din of the rain, but then her door opened.

"Carly?"

Carly stuck her hand out from under the bed and said, "Under here."

A moment later, Kate's face appeared. "Carly, I understand that you're scared of thunderstorms, but under the bed?"

Carly peeked over the edge of her arm and muttered, "Not scared, _terrified_."

"You're perfectly safe."

"Try telling my instincts that." Kate stretched out on her stomach and faced her daughter.

Carly asked, "How long are you planning to stay down here?"

"Until you get out from under there."

Carly pressed the two charms against her palm and said, "I hope you find hardwood flooring comfortable."

**XxXxXxX**

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**So, the second prayer was in Latin because, guess what! Carly's Catholic. Weird, huh? Anyway, I also don't own Leverage, I just have an unhealthy obsession with the show. But I own Tyler and _his_ unhealthy obsession with...everything. So, please review!**


	39. Chapter 39

**So, I've been ruminating for _days_ over this chapter, and it's still relatively...blech. But, it's as good as it's gettin' today. Hopefully there will be a new chapter soon, but school has started again and it's frickin' TORTURE. Ugh. Anywhos... **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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**XxXxXxX**

"Any closer to getting out from under there?"

Carly looked over her arms at Kate and responded, "Nope. Any closer to giving up?"

Kate answered evenly, "No."

Carly started to say something snippy, but a flash of lightning lit up the room and the lights flickered once, then twice, and then a third time before returning to their previous state. Carly pressed her face against her arms and murmured, "I really freaking hate thunderstorms."

Another clap of thunder sounded and Carly bit her arm to keep from whimpering. It wasn't the smartest decision, seeing as she bit her wrist rather than her forearm and the cuts were still quite fresh.

She hissed in pain quietly, but it didn't go unnoticed by Kate, who asked, "What happened?"

Carly answered, "Bumped a scratch on my arm." That wasn't too far from the truth, right?

They sat in silence for a bit, until Kate said, "Dinner's getting cold."

Carly, thankful for the distraction, asked, "What'd you get?"

"Chinese."

"Chinese sucks when it's cold."

"Even more reason for you to get out from under your bed."

Carly muttered darkly, "Черт вашей логике."

"Okay, no more swearing."

"How'd you–? I was speaking in Russian, how the hell did you know what I was saying?"

"No more swearing," Kate said firmly.

"Oh, whatever, alright, now how did you know what I was saying?"

"I spent a semester abroad during college. How do you know Russian?"

Carly muttered, "None of your godda–"

Carly cut off abruptly when Kate sent her a look. Carly started again, "Right, no swearing. Um, easiest explanation; I've been moved around enough that I've picked up a little of every language. I can carry on nursery school level conversations in, I think, twelve different languages. Not that it helps me in any way, but it's nice to yell at people and they have no idea what I'm calling them. But, every once in a while, I come across someone that knows exactly what I'm saying."

Carly returned Kate's gaze with a pointed look of her own. Another clap of thunder had Carly biting back a scream and fighting against the rising wave of memories that were threatening to overwhelm her.

For Carly, nothing good happened during thunderstorms. Her thoughts of thunderstorms consisted of death, destruction, general mayhem, yada, yada, yada. Kate's voice brought her back to the present.

"If you get out from there, I'll teach you more Russian."

Carly took a deep breath to calm her nerves and said, "Bribery? I didn't think a cop would stoop so low."

Kate smirked and said, "Not bribery, per say, but, ah, incentive. Besides, aren't you claustrophobic?"

Carly clarified, "I have issues with being in a confined space with no exit readily available. Under the bed, I'm able to get out from three different ways. There's a large difference. …For me, anyway. Now, if a clown and a spider carrying machetes were down here with me, there would be some problems." A clap of thunder rang out, followed closely by a flash of lightning.

Carly couldn't help it this time; she screamed a little. Kate said gently, "It's okay, it's just a little bit of thunder."

After a beat, Carly murmured softly, "It's not the thunder that scares me."

"Then what does?" Kate's voice was gentle and calm, not pushing too hard for answers, as if she knew that Carly would clam up if she was too aggressive in her questioning.

Carly rested her mouth against her arm for a moment before lifting her chin and answering, "What usually happens during thunderstorms."

"What usually happens?"

"Things."

"Bad things?"

"No, great things happen. I won the lottery during a thunderstorm. What do you think?"

"Carly." The way Kate said her name wasn't a warning, like it was at other foster homes, and it wasn't a threat, like her father would employ, but a comfort instead. Carly sighed and pressed her fists to her eyes, trying to press back the tears that were threatening to spill.

Finally, she mumbled quietly, "Yeah. Bad things."

After a moment, Kate asked, "Will you please come out from under there? I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."

Carly opened her mouth to say no, thanks, that she was perfectly comfortable being squished between the floor and the bed frame. But then she realized how ridiculous that argument would be. And it really was rather dark under that bed. And dusty. And small. And there was Chinese food to be eaten. And Chinese really did suck when it was cold.

That needling voice at the back of Carly's head started building an argument against getting out from under the bed, but it seemed as the rest of her mind overrode it. It took almost ten minutes of careful wiggling and maneuvering to get out, because it seemed that it was easier to get herself in than out (wasn't it always?), but eventually Carly was without a hideout.

She began to doubt exactly how smart of a move she had just made when a clap of thunder assaulted her. "Oh, for the love of God." Carly had half a mind to just crawl right back under her bed, but then Kate was offering a hand to help her up and she was pretty sure that she wouldn't just be able to hide in peace, so Carly gathered what was left of her nerve and grabbed Kate's hand and pulled herself up off the ground.

**XxXxXxX**

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**XxXxXxX**

There were reasons that Carly avoided thunderstorms. Many, many reasons, most involving her being physically harmed, but there was only one that created such a deep fear in her. And that, that one damn reason, was that her brother flat-lined for the final time during a thunderstorm.

Henry had been improving, and the doctors thought that he'd actually be able to survive, with a few handicaps, but, well, alive. Carly had persuaded (see: forced) her nurse to let her sit in his room, with her face bandaged and her arm and leg casted. The thunder had scared her to begin with, but it was nothing compared to the flat _BEEEEEP_ of Henry's vitals monitor.

It had been sudden, no warning whatsoever, and all she could do was scream. And scream, and scream, and scream.

Doctors, nurses, hell, even another patient came sprinting in, each yelling directions at one another. First they tried to stabilize him. Then they tried to use a defibrillator. And then they tried CPR.

And then, a nurse said in a thick voice, "2:47 in the morning, December twelfth." Her father had come running in seconds later, looking haggard and grief-stricken. He collapsed at his son's side, sobbing and clutching Henry to his chest.

A nurse eventually pulled Carly out of the room, murmuring something about, "The poor dear, so young." All Carly heard was the sound of her father's sobs, and the rumble of thunder in the background.

**XxXxXxX**

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**So, it's um, yeah. I know, I'm so eloquent, aren't I? Anyway, please don't favorite without reviewing! **


	40. Chapter 40

**So, new chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. **

**P.S. Big thanks to melvenj and baterista9 for pointing out my mistakes in my use of foreign languages! Thank you! **

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**XxXxXxX**

It started like this: Carly was scribbling notes down for her American Literature class, trying to catch everything her teacher, Mr. Setner said, when the class's phone rang. Mr. Setner broke off and scurried over.

"Room C-203, Setner." He paused, scanned the classroom and let his eyes rest on Carly. He said, "Yes, she's here." Another pause. "Alright, I'll send her right away." After hanging up the phone, Mr. Setner said, "Carly Hayes, please collect your things and report to the main office." When she hesitated, he barked, "Immediately."

Carly shoved her things together haphazardly and rushed out, ignoring the chorus of 'Ooohs' that her classmates found necessary. She wasn't sure why she was being called down. She was in dress code, hadn't mouthed off to any of the teachers, and she was pretty sure she'd remember if she had caused any type of mass chaos on campus, so she was slightly freaking out.

When she walked in the door, the secretary, Jean, said, "Oh, good, Carly, you're father's here to collect you. He said you have a doctor's appointment…?"

It didn't compute for a moment. Not until someone behind her drawled, "Hello darling."

Carly's fingers tightened around the strap of her backpack to the point of turning her knuckles whiter than they already were. She fought the intense urge to start screaming and fleeing in the general direction of Switzerland and instead debated asking Jean to call the cops. Or the Navy, because they're who you're supposed to call when shit like this goes down.

But, she didn't, because before she could, a hand landed heavily on her shoulder. It steered her around towards the door, and she mustered very bit of acting skill she had to keep from screaming or looking vaguely terrified.

She marched forward, refusing to look up or respond to Jean's cheery, "See you tomorrow!"

Daddy (no, wait, she hates to refer to him as that. Let it be known that his name is Paul, and that is what she shall refer to him as, should she not be referring to him as 'The Asshat'), leaned down and said, "You've gotten so big."

His breath was sour, but not tinged with alcohol, and she couldn't help but be a little relieved. At least when he was sober, he would refrain from doing anything violent until provoked, and Carly had enough sense to not provoke him.

Parked outside was a gleaming BMW, and Carly got a feeling that Paul had probably just bought it. She remembered him always wanting the newest, best version of everything, which meant lots of impulse shopping on his part.

He held open a door to her, and Carly knew that this was where she either got kidnapped and then brutally murdered by her own father, or where she would magically forgive his sins against her and they would be able to mend their relationship in all of twenty minutes and the world would be unicorns and gumdrops and maybe Liam would come back for her and–

Damn, she really must be crazy, if she thought that Liam was coming back for her, or that she'd be able to forgive her father, or that he was even looking for redemption.

And since she knew Paul, she knew that it was most likely the first option, and that he'd probably dump her body where no one could find it, and that her friends and Tyler and Ruby and Mason and Rick and Kate would never know what happened to her, that there would never be a proper burial for her because her body would probably be eaten by the mutated fish that somehow survive in the Hudson river, and that her grave, her actual grave, where her bones had settled, would go unmourned and everyone would forget about the girl that got herself abducted and killed and–

She refrained from continuing that train of thought, because it was already causing her to hyperventilate. Paul pushed her into the car and got in on the driver's side.

Carly dropped her backpack between her feet and asked quietly, "How'd you find me?"

She waited, though she already knew the answer. He responded in kind, "You've attended the same school since you were eight."

Carly corrected him, "Seven."

Paul put the car into gear and pulled out of the school driveway quickly. He started to speak. "I want us to be a family again."

Carly snorted.

"Really, I do, Caroline. I feel horrible that I left you and I wish that I was here for everything, but I had some things to work out."

Carly again corrected him. "It's Carly."

He retorted, "Caroline is the name your mama picked out, and it is the name that I will call you." Carly was surprised that he was referring to Mama as, well, her mom. He continued, "I'm meeting with CPS and my lawyer later today, so that we can discuss custody arrangements."

"Let me out of the car."

"Caroline, I made mistakes, but I'm trying to repent."

"Repent, my ass. Let me out of this fucking car."

Paul slapped her awkwardly and abruptly, having had to reach across the seats. "Don't you dare use language like that. Have you not remembered a thing of what your mama and I taught you?" Carly shut up quickly and instead fiddled with the lock on her side of the door.

The car felt suddenly smaller, the doors seemingly moving closer. "Pull over." He pressed the gas pedal. "Pull over, or, I swear to God, I will scream 'kidnapping in progress' out the window."

"It's not kidnapping if I'm your father."

"You're not my father."

Paul hit the brakes. "Get out."

"Gladly."

Carly opened the car door and stepped out. Paul rolled the BMW away from her, leaving her in the dust, once again.

Carly knew where she was, and she knew that a responsible girl would march herself down to the police station that she just so happened to have connections to and report Paul Hayes. But, she'd never considered herself very responsible, so she walked to the nearest food cart and bought herself a knish. Middle Eastern food always made her feel better.

She finished eating and headed over to Jenny's Hair and Nails. When she walked in, everyone looked up and greeted her. Nicholas came out from the back soon after, by which time she was already chatting with Stevie and a woman named Faith about what the hell Angelina Jolie was doing with her hair.

Nicholas asked, "Don't you have school today?"

Carly snapped, "No." She realized how sharp and annoyed she must've sounded, so she said, "Half day, and I managed to have all my sucky classes during that half."

Nicholas sympathized, "I gotcha. Whaddya want done today?"

Carly glanced into a mirror and answered, "Bangs. Oh, and blonde."

"Blonde?" Nicholas raised an eyebrow.

Carly turned her head this way and that and finally said, "…Nah, just darken it again. Like, um, black. Like it was in the summer."

Nicholas nodded and offered, "Manicure?"

Carly glanced down at her raggedy nails. "Um, sure."

**XxXxXxX**

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**XxXxXxX**

It ended like this: Carly sat down heavily on the dewy grass. She felt new again, with her black hair and blonde bangs (a compromise between her and Nicholas), but the grief that wasn't new. She dropped her backpack down next to her and meticulously arranged the flowers she had bought at the bottom of the tombstone.

It would be so easy, she thought, so damn easy to just go to sleep and never wake up. She knew that a groundskeeper would be wandering through eventually, and that her body would be found, that her death would be on her terms. It'd be nicer than being killed in some violent form.

But Carly let her gaze rest on the words engraved in the stone. _Taken Too Soon._

She took a deep breath and said, "Hi Ellie." A hand rested softly on her shoulder and she felt someone kneel down beside her.

"Hey Curly."

Carly refused to look up, because she knew that if she did, it'd all but destroy her.

Instead she spoke to the tombstone. "How could you? How could you have ever let yourself get lured down there? How could you–?" Carly stopped abruptly.

"How could I what, Carly?"

She felt the beginning of tears pricking the corners of her eyes. "How could you leave me?" Carly's voice broke on the question and the tears ran freely.

The answer; "Because you'd be okay."

Carly sputtered, "But, I could've…I mean, I should've seen something, known something…"

"I was an idiot. It wasn't anything you could've stopped."

Carly buried her face in her hands and mumbled, "But you're _dead_ and I'm _not_ and it's not fair."

She was pretty sure that if hallucinations could slap, Elena would've.

"Carly, shut up and get over it. I'm dead. It's irreversible. But you…you're still alive. Enjoy it." Carly started to sob harder. And then Elena was gone, and Carly was left crying to a grave.

**XxXxXxX**

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**So, there it is. And, again, I'm slowly getting used to balancing homework time with writing time, but I've already started the next chapter (chapter 41, God, when did it get so long?). Oh, and please review!**


	41. Chapter 41

**School has been kicking my ass lately, so I apologize for the lengthy delay. But, new chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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**XxXxXxX**

_You're still alive. You're still alive. You're still alive_. Carly couldn't get Elena's voice out of her head. Those three words just kept spinning around and around and around, until Carly couldn't take it anymore. And short of jumping off a cliff (which was starting to look better and better), she had to figure out how to deal with it. But, it was cold, and her jacket was thin, and she didn't really have any clue as to how she could get back to school from where she was. So, she bit her lip and dialed.

**XxXxXxX**

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**XxXxXxX**

Kate was finding it very hard to concentrate on the pile of after-case paperwork that had piled up on her desk. When her phone vibrated on her desk, making an annoying buzzing sound, she scrambled to answer it, just for something to do. "Beckett."

A static-y voice came through. "Kate? Um, I was wondering if you'd be able to pick me up." Carly's voice was soft and unsure through the phone.

"Carly? Why aren't you in school?"

"There were some extenuating circumstances. …You know what? This was a stupid idea. I'll just get a cab back to school."

"No, Carly, where are you? I'm leaving right now."

Carly said, relieved, "I'm…um…I'm between one tall building and another…tall building…?"

Kate put her hand over the receiver and told Ryan, "Tell Gates that I'm taking a personal day." He nodded and Kate uncovered the receiver and asked, "Can you see any street signs?"

There was a pause before Carly said, "Yeah, but I can't read them."

"Why not?"

"Because they may or may not be blocked by a huge guy that's covered in tattoos and I don't have the nerve to ask him to move his ass out of the way. Wait, sorry, didn't mean to swear."

Kate smirked as she stepped into the elevator, then she asked, "Okay, do you know your relative location?"

"Um, I'm a little ways away from Cypress Hills Cemetery."

"How little of a way are you from it?"

"I walked for, like, five minutes, so I'd guess about three or four blocks over…? I was walking slow."

"In which direction?"

"…The one that I walked in."

"…Okay. Which entrance did you leave from?"

"Uh…Jamaica Avenue, I think."

"And which direction did you go in? Left or right?"

"Er…left… Or right. Maybe straight. I may have walked in a diagonal."

"Oh. You have no idea where you are, do you?"

"Really? Was that not made apparent by my ramblings about left and right and big guys blocking street signs– yeah, I'm talking to you, buddy!– and my complete lack of directional skills? Or maybe it was the fact that I'm actually calling for a ride, because God knows that if I had any clue as to where I was, I'd be either sneaking onto a bus or walking back to school. …Crap, it's getting colder. Hey, do you think that if, hypothetically speaking, someone were to be banned from a form of public transportation, and they were to sneak onto said public transportation, that they would be arrested? Or detained? And would it be on the poor sap's record?"

"…Carly, is there something you're trying to tell me?"

"What? Me? No, I was just…wondering. …Aaaaand, the bus is gone. Crap."

"Okay, I'm in my car. Do you remember how you got to the cemetery?"

"Well, I got my imaginary friend Bingo some chocolate ice cream, and then we rode my pretty pink unicorn Sparkles to the cemetery. Oh, and we bought an island at the fairy princess store that's right next to the Phantom Tollbooth."

"Carly."

"Oh, you meant seriously? Well, I got taken out of school and then dumped on the side of the road and then I took the subway to Brooklyn and walked the rest of the way. I wasn't paying much attention, so, no, I don't remember how I got here."

"Did you pass any distinct landmarks?"

"Distinct? What's distinct? It's just a bunch of tall buildings. And they're all gray. With windows. That distinct enough?"

"Can you find your way back to the cemetery?"

"Uh…I think so…"

"Okay, if you feel comfortable walking back, I'll meet you there. Are you okay with that?"

"…Uh…as long as the big guy doesn't turn out to be a psycho murderer. …Yeah, that'd put a damper on my day. Big damper." There was some rustling and then Carly said, "Ooh! Ten bucks! Oh, no, wait, that's a candy wrapper. Dammit, Hannah, I said never to eat my Twix. Ooh, but that actually is ten bucks! Okay, Kate, never mind about the cemetery, I'm going to be at Cinnamon Swirl Coffee Shop. It's right next to an office building and…another office building. But there's this bright orange sign on the front, and this wacko in a coffee outfit holding a sign. And, oh, the big guy moved and I can see that it is on…101st. So, I'm going to go and drink warm caffeinated drinks and try and regain feeling in my fingers– I probably should stop with the fingerless gloves– while I wait for you to get here. Alright? Alright. I think my fingers are officially frozen, so I'm going to go now. Before the rest of my limbs freeze. Bye." Carly hung up before Kate could say anything else.

**XxXxXxX**

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**XxXxXxX**

It didn't take long for Kate to find the coffee shop. It took longer to find Carly. When she did spot her, finally, she was shocked to see that she had replaced her espresso colored hair with jet black. She was even more shocked when she saw Carly's newly dyed bangs. Carly noticed Kate and tossed the magazine she had been reading down into the pile on the table next to her.

"Took you less time than I thought," Carly said as she walked over.

Kate asked, "Your fingers thawed?"

Carly flexed them experimentally and answered, "Barely."

Once they were both in Kate's car, she asked Carly, "So, why were you out of school?"

Carly stopped flexing her fingers and stayed silent for a minute. Finally, she said, "I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"I just…" Carly ran a hand through her hair before continuing, "I just can't. Okay?"

"Not a good enough answer. Now, why were you out of school?"

"And this is why I never want to be on the wrong side of an interrogation. Especially if you are the interrogator."

"Carly."

"…Someone picked me up."

"Who?"

"A person." Kate looked over at her daughter and raised an eyebrow. Carly pursed her lips and said, "My dad did." Carly glanced over to gauge Kate's reaction before she continued. "He's…Paul was going to meet with CPS and he wanted to tell me first. Said that he's going to discuss custody 'arrangements'. Not that there are many options."

"No one will let him take you."

"He _owns_ me. He can do whatever the hell he wants, no matter what the state says, because he still has full custody, and even if he doesn't know that now, he will soon, and then…" Carly bit her lip and trailed off.

Kate asked, "What happened after he said that?" She tried to keep her voice level, but inside, she was furious. He had no right to show up after four years and ruin Carly's life all over again. She was itching to use him as target practice, but she did her best to keep any sign of it off of her face.

Carly said quietly, "I told him that he wasn't my father and he kicked me out of the car. Ditched me on the side of the road. I took the subway to Brooklyn and, um, I visited Elena's grave. I figured I ought to, all of my friends have already been down there."

"What happened at the cemetery?"

"Nothing. I bought some flowers, talked to a dead girl. You know, the normal activities that all teenaged girls partake in."

"And then you walked to the payphone?"

"No, I bought a purple pony that I named Bob."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"And then I went into the coffee shop, chugged a large hot chocolate, and have what seems to be a psychic connection with the checkerboard."

"I highly doubt that."

"I'm not kidding! Every once in a while, he would just, like, stare at the board, smirk, chuckle, and then beat me into a pulverized mess of loser. Old guys shouldn't be able to do that."

Kate smirked. A moment later, she asked, "No one questioned who he was when he picked you up from school?"

Carly shook her head angrily and stared out the window. Kate let the conversation die. Carly broke the silence by quietly saying, "You know, when I was younger, I wished that he would come back for me. Wished that…I wished that he would want me. Just…just need me, you know? I actually wouldn't have even minded just a visit for him to explain why."

Carly sniffed and continued, still talking to the window, "My psychiatrist said that it was normal to feel that way, after getting ditched so abruptly. It's not normal, though. I mean, Stockholm Syndrome much?"

"You'll be safe."

"Li–."

"We'll keep you safe."

Carly snorted. "…That means absolutely nothing. I've been told that thirty seven times, and all incidents ended with me getting shot, stabbed, punched, kicked, or otherwise forced to cough up blood, so, excuse me if I don't believe you."

"Carly, look at me." Carly obliged, relatively unwilling, and Kate said, "_I _will keep you safe. He will never get the chance to hurt you again, do you understand me?"

Carly nodded slowly, cautiously. Kate nodded shortly and turned her attention back to the road. They drove in silence, jerking forward in their seats and falling back, thanks to the stop and go traffic.

Kate asked quietly, "How many times, exactly, have you been shot, stabbed, punched, kicked, or forced to cough up blood?"

Carly chewed on her thumbnail, before answering, "More times than I'd like to remember."

"And it happened all in your foster homes?"

"Mostly. Some of it happened in parks, at night, when I'd had… Nevermind."

"When you'd had what?"

"You're a cop, and if I tell you, I'm sure I'd get in a load of trouble."

"Try me."

"Fine. Some of it happened in parks, at night, after I'd had a few drinks with my foster siblings. Turns out that the gangs in certain neighborhoods are extremely territorial."

"Was that the worst of it?"

"God, no."

"Then what was the worst of it?" Carly rested her head against the window and crossed her arms, letting her silence be the answer.

"Kate said softly, "Whenever you're ready to talk about, I'll always be around to listen."

"You sound like my psychiatrist. Which is fine, by the way, just a little annoying. At least you don't have a mustache that looks like a dead squirrel."

"Well, I should hope not."

**XxXxXxX**

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**So, I'd just like to apologize to any New Yorkers that were reading this and were like, 'That street is nowhere near that street' or something of that idea. I've only been to New York a couple of times, and even then I basically stayed in Manhattan, so my knowledge is limited to what I can find online and in The Complete Idiot's Guide to New York City and any maps I happen to buy on New York. So, yeah. Anyway, other than that, I hope you liked the chapter, and please review!**


	42. Chapter 42

**WHAAAAAAAT? It's been HOW long since I last updated? Well, please excuse my abscence, as my school administrators seem to take pleasure it depriving me of the only thing that keeps me sane (i.e. writing for recreation) by making me do homework into the early hours of the morning. Urgh. ANYWHOS, I've written a new chapter that seems good to me, but may actually be crap, seeing as I have yet to sleep in thirty-seven hours. And I'm not even in college! Anyway, I hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or anything affiliated with it.**

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**XxXxXxX**

"…Annnd, there's another body! God, is this what your job is like every day? Bodies after bodies after bodies…"

"Not usually, it's mostly one body, a week or so passes, another body…"

"And are all murders committed by batty, old women and their batty, old brother?"

"No, they are not."

"But, seriously, who laces tea with 'a _pinch_ of cyanide'? How could you just put a 'pinch' in? I'd dump it all in, just get rid of 'em in one fell swoop. …Not that I've, like, ever considered murdering someone or anything… Oh, look, _another_ body!"

Carly grabbed another handful from the popcorn bowl that was settled in between her and Kate and popped a couple of pieces at a time into her mouth. Kate smirked at her daughter's obvious joy.

"Oh, seriously, _another _one? How many people must die?" Carly drew her knees up to her chin and her eyes widened to the size of saucers as the deranged old women started explaining all of the aforementioned dead bodies.

She commented, "I've seen this, like, a bajillion times, but I swear, it never gets old. Unlike those hats. They…they do get old. Very old, very fast. Must they wear them for murder?"

The screen faded to black and a commercial for car insurance replaced the movie. Carly unfurled her legs again and brushed her hair back. Kate glanced over and noticed thin scars tracing across the side of Carly's face, neck, and jaw. A thicker, albeit paler, scar started by her eye and ended dangerously close to her temple.

Carly murmured offhandedly, "They're from the car accident." She turned her head slightly towards Kate and continued, "Don't worry, everyone looks at them. I've gotten more comments about this one," she pointed to the scar by her eye, "than anything else. It's from a piece of metal that kind of ripped off from the car. These," she ran her finger down her face, over the thin scars, "are from the window shattering. No one really notices these much. …Right after the accident, they were really bad. It looked like someone had run a cheese grater all over my face. Because of all the gauze, half of my face was whiter than it normally was."

"Oh, you're not that white."

Carly looked over and said, "If you sent me out into the snow, you'd never see me again."

"Then I'll just have to remember to make you wear bright colors."

"I'd still disappear into a snow drift."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Of course I would. I'm short enough; I'd sink right up to my neck, and then wait a few minutes and boom! No more Carly."

"At least you're not an albino."

Carly, who had started paying attention to the television commercials again, snapped her attention back to Kate. "Does it run in your family or something?"

"Second cousin on my father's side."

"Oh, God, I got off lucky then."

"Yep. You got all the good genes of the Beckett family. …Unless…"

Carly looked up at Kate, who was smirking slyly, and asked, "Unless what?"

"Oh, look, the movie's back."

"…If I suddenly grow a second head, I'm blaming you."

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

Carly, it seemed to Kate, had a hard time staying awake, at any time of the day. It was even more apparent, now that she was curled up in a corner of the couch, not quite snoring, but almost. The movie they had been watching, The Cat and The Canary, finished and the credits began to roll, and Kate gently shook Carly awake.

Carly muttered, "I'm awake."

"Nope, you're sleeping. And if you sleep like that, your neck will be stiff, and it'll suck."

Carly yawned and mumbled sleepily, "Did you just say suck? I didn't know that adults were…were…allowed…"

She trailed off again, and Kate said gently, "Come on Carly, just get up to your room."

Carly muttered mixture of, "I'm comfortable here," and, "Too tired to move."

Kate couldn't blame her. She had been through hell in the past couple of months, and she hadn't been getting much sleep, that was for sure. Kate would have had to have been blind to not notice the dark, heavy bags that had formed under her daughter's eyes.

Her daughter. It had a funny sound, especially when she was saying it. She had never quite referred to Carly as hers when she was pregnant with her, not when she was born, not when she signed over her rights. And now…Kate brushed Carly's bangs out of her eyes and said again, "Come on, your room is just up the stairs."

Carly groaned, "You're worse than…than…I'm too tired to think."

"Even more reason to stop fighting me on this and just go up to your room."

Carly pressed her hands over her ears halfheartedly and mumbled, "Stop talking, your voice is inhibiting my sole chance at sleep for the next four months."

"Four months?"

Carly continued sleepily, "Or five years. I'm not sure how high school will pan out. I don't sleep much."

"How much _do_ you sleep?"

"Two, three hours? I need'ta start…to start…sleeping aids…sweet sleeping aids…"

Her sentence was quickly reduced to gibberish and Carly buried her face into the couch cushion. Kate slid her arm around Carly and hefted her into a sitting position. "Come on, it'll take thirty seconds to get upstairs." Carly leaned into her mother and let herself be brought into a standing position and allowed herself be guided up the stairs and to her room. She promptly did a face plant into the mattress.

She mumbled, "Don't bother me for a month." Kate smirked and flicked the lights off.

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

"_IT'S CHRISTMAS!" She and Henry run up and down the short hall, screaming at the tops of their lungs, banging pots with spoons as they go, doing everything they can to raise the dead. Henry scoops her up, making her shriek in delight, and helps her up onto his shoulders. _

_From this height, she can just barely graze the ceiling with her fingertips, because, let's face it, her brother isn't the tallest. But, he's willing to act like a little kid for her, even though he's one-six, which, according to Daddy, is too old to be playing dolls with his baby sister. But, he does anyway, and she loves him for it. _

_They keep on yelling, and finally the door to their parents' room opens. _

_Daddy comes out first, rubbing his eyes and grumbling, "Too early for this. I thought we had a rule about Christmas morning and not waking us up 'til eight. Didn't we have a rule, Char?" _

_Mama pushes him playfully and says, "Oh, hush, Paul, let them have their fun." She walks over to her and Henry, holds out her arms and says, "C'mere Carebear, let Henry have a break." _

_Henry bends to allow her to climb into her mother's arms. Mama settles her on her hip and groans, "Oh, baby, you might be gettin' too big for this." She shakes her head stubbornly, and buries her face in her mother's shoulder. _

_Mama laughs softly and carries her down the stairs, following Henry, who's following Daddy. This is their yearly procession. Daddy goes first, to make sure that Santa didn't bring anything dangerous (though she doubts that a fat guy that looks like Grandpa Thomas could bring anything more dangerous than an EasyBake oven), and Henry is next, as backup. She and Mama are last, because she's the youngest and Mama is…well, Mama. _

_Mama places a hand over her eyes, saying, "Let's let Henry and Daddy sort the gifts first, okay, sweet girl?" She nods, but tries to peek over her mother's hand (to no avail, of course. She sometimes forgets that Mama's done this before). A minute later, Mama removes her hand and– wow!– she's never seen such a big box and oh, gosh, it's for her! She wiggles out of her mother's grip and races over because she's so excited and–_

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

Carly woke up abruptly and was on autopilot as she padded down the stairs. She was still groggy enough to half expect to see her mother and her brother and her father sitting down there, watching a movie like they always did on Friday evenings, when she had been tucked in for the night. So, it jarred her a little to see that it was not her living room, from her house, on Staten Island. Damn.

And it may have jarred her just a little more to see that, no, she was not alone in her nighttime wanderings, and that she would have to be invisible and able to walk through walls to leave the apartment, thanks to the fact that there happened to be someone actually, oh, awake. She figured that it was because murder doesn't sleep, or some shit like that.

Whatever the reason, she was less than pleased, though she figured that once Kate left to detect about whoever had gotten whacked, she could blow this popsicle stand. Only, Kate didn't leave. She brewed herself a cup of what must've been tea, because Carly could smell coffee from a mile away and that was not coffee, sat down on the couch, and opened up a manila folder.

From where Carly was standing, she could tell that it was a case file. And then, the thought hit her like a football player body-slamming her (oh, God, and she wasn't even _trying_ to sound dirty), that Kate was actually, like, a person. A good, patient person, who didn't hate her (unless she's the world's greatest actress, but Carly's pretty sure that after years of people lying to her, she'd be able to tell when someone's pretending), and who may-sorta-kinda care about her. And Carly hated to admit it, but she may-sorta-kinda dislike her less. A lot less. Hell, she doubted it could even be counted as dislike anymore. And, unfortunately, that meant that she may-sorta-kinda be getting attached. And to her, that was death. Or torture. Maybe both.

Carly stood at the bottom step, contemplating this revelation and trying to repress the urge to pack her bag and flee to Uzbekistan (she heard that they were…unheard of), when Kate said, without looking up, "Good morning, Carly."

Carly jumped a little, until she remembered that, oh, yeah, her mother is a cop (damn, no auto theft for her) and she probably had a whole host of crazy-ass ninja skills that Carly had yet to learn of.

"Um…good morning…?" Because, really, how was she supposed to respond to that? It wasn't like there was a handbook on talking to your biological mother, and if there was, Carly had yet to find it. Actually, now that she thought about it, there was a market just waiting to be tapped. She could probably make a fortune off of How-To books, at this point…

"You don't have to just stand there, you know."

Carly snapped back to the present and asked as she walked over, "Who's file?"

Kate closed the folder, just as Carly was getting close enough to see the pictures paper clipped to it, and answered, "My mother's."

"Oh."

"Mhmm. Why're you up? Nightmare?"

"Maybe." Carly flopped down on the other end of the couch and let out a sigh. "You don't have to close the file, you know. I've seen dead bodies before."

"Then you don't need to see any more."

Carly rolled her eyes at the wall and said, "Fine, fine. I 'don't' need to see any more death, yada, yada, yada. Why're you awake at this ungodly hour?"

"I have my own nightmares."

"Oh, darn, you're actually human. What are yours about?"

"What are _yours_ about?"

"Touché."

"Hey, are you okay after this afternoon?"

And Carly was just starting to forget about it. "I'm fine. He didn't shoot me, so I count it as a good day." She tried to keep her light voice, but she could tell from the look on Kate's face that she didn't believe her, and she let the silence sit heavily in the room.

**XxXxXxX**

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**Oh, look, it's done, and the ending may or may not suck. At the moment, I think it sucks, but once I get some sleep, I'm sure I'll love it suddenly. Anywhos (my new favorite word, if you have yet to notice), I'd absotively, posilutely love a review! Oh, and Happy Halloween to those that celebrate it! Boo!**


	43. Chapter 43

**New chapter! I'm sorry that it's just filler, but today was my birthday, and I didn't get a chance to write very much. But, the next few chapters are already in drafted, so the next few updates should come in a quick succession. Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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**XxXxXxX**

"You're going to see a family counselor tomorrow." And there she was, thinking that she was almost having a good day.

"A what?"

"Family. Counselor." Dr. G drew out the syllables and smirked at her.

Carly snapped, "I know _what_ it is, I want to know _why_."

"Well," he laced his fingers under his chin and leaned forward, "I think that it would be beneficial to you if you, your _birth_mother, and her husband all met with a colleague of mine, Dr. Lin. She's highly recommended for…difficult family situations."

"For family counseling, doesn't there have to be a, oh, you know, family unit?"

"Hate to break it to you, kid, but she's family, and by extension, so is he."

"I hate you."

"I know. But do you want to look back at your life when you're old and decrepit, and wish that you had taken my advice to seek counseling? It'll help in the long run."

"Help with what? My hatred of authority? My abandonment complex?"

"Now, you know I've never labeled you like that."

"The others did."

"The others obviously weren't as well trained to handle cases like you. Look, Carly, your old psychiatrists were treating you for depression. I'm treating you for everything else."

"Thanks, that makes me feel so normal."

"Normal is for a washing machine."

"Huh?"

"Don't tell me you've never seen a washing machine."

"Um…I mean, I've seen one. I just never pay attention to the settings."

"Mhmm. Now, you'll continue seeing me, but every Friday, you'll have to go just down the hall to Dr. Lin's office."

"And what if no one else has time, huh? What then?"

"Then she'll reschedule until all three of you are available at the same time. Carly, you have no choice in the matter, so I'd just accept it if I were you."

"I hate you."

"Strong word."

"I strongly dislike you. Like, a real freaking lot."

"Better. Now, is there anything you'd like to discuss?"

"Niet"

"And now you're speaking in a foreign language. Carly, if I haven't said this before, I took Latin in high school and I barely passed. Please, let's keep it to English."

Carly leveled a steely look at Dr. G and he braced himself for the verbal assault that he normally received when he set boundaries for her.

Instead, he received, "D'accord, ma mère biologique et moi sommes mieux s'entendre, et c'est comme si je ne la déteste pas plus, mais pas moyen de l'enfer je suis sur le point de commencer à appeler sa mère ou quelque chose, mais c'est, comme, je n'ai toujours lui en veux, et peut-être souhaitez qu'elle était morte, ou que j'étais mort, l'un des deux, mais c'est aussi comme si quelque chose s'est passé et elle devait, je ne sais pas, tomber mort, je prendrais plus difficile que je serais bien l'admettre.

"Je vois les choses aussi, comme mon meilleur ami mort, ce gars-là j'ai utilisé pour raccorder avec, mon vieux parents adoptifs - ceux qui m'avaient beaucoup frappée - et, je continue à avoir ces cauchemars et ils ne sont pas tout à fait des cauchemars mais, comme, des flashbacks ou quelque chose. Je rêve d'avant l'accident, après l'accident, le temps que j'ai passé avec certaines des familles les plus mauvais et ... je ne peux pas le supporter. J'ai commencé à couper de nouveau. Honnêtement, je tiens à avaler un tas de pilules, comme le dos quand j'avais douze ans, et cette fois ont à faire leur travail."

She quirked an eyebrow at him and he said, "Fine, talk in whatever language you'd like. Just be forewarned, I tape these sessions and I have Google Translate."

"Mhmm, suuure… I could start rambling in Italian, if you'd like, but it'll mostly be curses. I could also go off in German, but then it'd just _sound_ like I was cursing."

"No, French is fine. At least it sounds…less angry."

"You know, I should speak in French with Dr. Lin. Or Italian. Or German. Maybe Japanese."

"Why?"

"Because Kate knows Russian."

"…I _meant_, why do you feel the need to speak in foreign languages, exactly?"

"It's fun."

"And…?"

"And no one can understand what the hell I'm saying, mostly because my accents suck, and so does my grammar, and I speak really fast."

"Any reason you don't want people to be able to understand you?"

"Oh, no, no, no. No more deep questions. I've filled my quota; you can put a little check next to 'Still Has Soul'. Can you get back to shallow ones?"

"Okay. How ya doin'?"

"Don't try to sound all mobby."

"I thought that I was the adult, but hey, apparently things change."

Carly rolled her eyes and the office fell silent. She broke said silence abruptly by saying, "I still feel empty, you know. This whole 'talking' thing isn't helping."

"How much effort have you put into it?"

"…Some."

Dr. G chuckled, his laugh ruffling his mustache, and said, "Well, that's why. Talking things out isn't a cure-all. You have to work at it, untie the knots carefully and slowly."

"I'm not patient."

"Yes, you are. Didn't you spend your last birthday waiting in a line with your friends for sixteen hours, in the snow, to get Taylor Swift's autograph?"

"Pffft…what? I never, I mean, I wouldn't…Fine, maybe I did. Doesn't prove I'm patient."

"Oh, but it does."

"You don't know anything."

"Oh, because my Masters in psychology didn't teach me anything." Carly turned away from Dr. G, angling her body towards the wall, so he continued gently, "Just…be open to the appointment. From what you've told me, it's Kate that you have the most issues with, so Dr. Lin will probably just have the two of you sit in a room together and wait until one of you cracks."

"Dude, I've been threatened by gangs. She's a cop. Neither of us will crack anytime soon."

"Oh, well, Dr. Lin is…unorthodox. But, she gets results."

"And now I'm scared."

"Don't be. She won't lock you in a small room with a clown, I promise."

"Funny, but I don't believe you."

"So, how's that boyfriend of yours, Tyler, right?"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Dr. G just chuckled.

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**So, I don't really know why I wrote this. I suppose that it's because I like Dr. G, yes? Or maybe I wanted to show off my mad French skillz, yo. 'Cuz, you know, I'm beast like that. Anywhos, now that I've tried and failed at being cool, gimme a birthday present in the form of a constructive review? **


	44. Chapter 44

**Happy Thanksgiving to everyone that celebrates and happy holidays to those that don't! And, since I have a four day weekend, I get to write like a mad fool. Yay! Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

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**XxXxXxX**

Carly was debating just not showing up to the 'family' counseling because, let's be honest, who gave a crap about being a family? Definitely not her. Dr. G had at least had the courtesy to tell Kate and Rick about the appointment and worked out details, saving her from having to try to figure out how to explain the situation in her special, word mangling way.

And now, after venting to her friends all day about it, she was standing outside the office building, almost wanting there to be a freak accident involving a satellite hurtling towards the earth and her being the unfortunate freak that got in the way. But no, it'd be a bit messy, wouldn't it? So, she pushed open the door and walked in.

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

"Let me just be honest here," Carly said, and Dr. Lin looked up from her clipboard.

"Yes?"

"I don't like you."

"Okay."

"No reaction? Really? How long are you just going to sit there and look at your clipboard?"

"Just…reading."

"Reading what? My file? Because, if so, I can promise you that you won't finish 'til spring."

"Actually, I've already read your file. I'm proof-reading my son's English paper." Carly frowned and started to say something, but shut her mouth abruptly. Dr. Lin set her clipboard down next to her and said, "Alright, I think you've stewed long enough. Why do you think you're here?"

"I'm here because my psychiatrist is a nosy jerk that thinks that he knows what's best for me." Dr. Lin cocked her head and pursed her lips. Carly amended, "Fine. I'm here because my birthmother gave me up for adoption, my adoptive family died in a car crash, my adoptive dad ditched me, and now I'm staying with my birthmother and her husband."

"Okay. Do you think that you need to be here?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because there's no family unit to counsel."

"Interesting. Dr. Gihadimiriacki told me that you'd say that."

"...Seriously? You can pronounce that?"

Dr. Lin disregarded her surprise and instead glanced at her watch. "Well, we've been sitting here for fifteen minutes. I think it's time that I called in your parents."

Carly flinched and said, "Not my parents." Her comment garnered no response and Dr. Lin walked out of the office, her shoes making a hollow _thwacking_ sound down the hallway.

Carly considered her surroundings for a moment, taking in the lack of tissue boxes. In every counselor's office, every psychiatrist's office that she'd ever been in, there'd always been a tissue box, 'course she'd never needed it, but it was always there.

There was also a distinct lack of 'inspirational' posters tacked onto the walls, no pictures of kittens hanging onto a branch with the slogan 'Hang in there!' printed in bright letters underneath. The window was uncovered, letting the autumn sun into the room, bathing everything in a pleasant golden shade. In a corner of the room, there was a table with notebooks, sketchbooks, and a bin of pens and pencils.

Underneath the table were two stacks of books, one with titles like, 'How to Talk to Your Teen' and 'Explaining Sex to Your Teen' (Carly wrinkled her nose in distaste and prayed to every god that she knew of that Dr. Lin didn't make Kate and Rick take notes on that book. One awkward assembly at school with everyone giggling nervously was enough), and the other with titles like, 'Parents vs. Teens; Why You Should Listen to Your Parents' and 'They Just Don't Understand; Thoughts from a Frustrated Teen'. Carly found the excessive use of the word 'teen' rather annoying. Really, was it that hard to write 'teenagers' or 'big kids'?

Across the ceiling, Carly noticed, was tiny writing. She had the inexplicable urge to somehow get close enough to read it. But, as she'd found out years ago, when you're short, you have a long way to fall, and she'd rather not risk it. Instead, she let her thoughts wander, and finally she was left wondering why there was a rubber chicken tacked to the wall, next to the window.

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Castle. I'm Dr. Lin. It's very nice to meet the pair of you."

Dr. Lin, in theory, was a short, unintimidating woman. She couldn't have weighed more that ninety pounds, soaking wet, and she barely came up to Kate's shoulder. She shouldn't be nervous. She had faced down serial killers, cold and calculating murderers, had had guns pressed to her temple and not flinched. And yet…

Castle's hand squeezed hers and she was reminded of how lucky she was to have him.

"Now, if you two will just follow me, we can get started." Dr. Lin disappeared back down the hall and the pair had no choice but to follow.

She led them into an empty office and, before _anyone_ could say _anything_, she said, "What we're doing right now is my favorite part of the counseling, honestly. What we're going to be doing is going over a few things while Carly stews. You see, this is how I base my approach. If Carly comes looking for us in the next five minutes, my job will be a breeze. If she takes anywhere from five to ten, it'll be a little difficult, but relatively simple. If she takes ten to fifteen, it'll be a little more challenging. And if she takes somewhere between fifteen to forty-five minutes, there's a lot of crap that will have to be worked through to make any progress, but there will be results…hopefully. If she doesn't come looking at all, but, upon our return, shows some interest, shows that she noticed how long it took, then there are a lot of walls up, but I can work with it. If she doesn't come looking, doesn't show any interest whatsoever…pardon my bluntness, but you're screwed. I'll throw a parenting book at you and you're on your own. Now, let get down to business."

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

They say that there are moments in a day, in a week, in a year, when there's a shift in the universe. Who 'they' are, no one quite knows, nor has anyone bothered to find out, but they still say it. And this, dear reader, is such a moment.

It was relatively normal day, with the rest of the world going about their afternoons as they always would, and one couple fielded questions from an unorthodox family counselor ("Have either of you ever had a phobia of snow?"), and one smaller than average girl banged her head against the wall because, dammit, it'd been twenty minutes since the aforementioned family counselor had left her in that damn office, and she was freaking _losing it_.

In the time it took for the world to breathe, some piece of the puzzle clicked into place and, while it was by no means finished, it was starting to fill in the blank spots. The girl, the angry, bitter, guarded girl, got up from her spot on the couch and went looking for the people she wanted to hate the most.

**XxXxXxX**

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**So, short and sweet, but, that means that I will be cranking out a new chapter soon. ...ish. Please review!**


	45. Chapter 45

**DUUUUUUDE! Did you see that last episode of Castle! I'm talking about Cuffed, of course, and that's all I'll say on the matter. Anyway, new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. But I own Carly. And Dr. Lin. But who cares about them, 'cause I own TYLER!**

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**XxXxXxX**

"Carly, I'm leaving you in control of this discussion." Carly snapped her attention away from the rubber chicken and looked at Dr. Lin sharply. Her eyes widened when she realized that, oh, crap, she was actually being serious.

Up until that moment, Carly had been boycotting the whole situation via silence, but she ended the aforementioned boycott by crying, "Excuse me?"

Dr. Lin was unfazed and handed Carly a couple sheets of paper. "Here are some starting questions. You can pick and choose, or you can come up with your own questions. The only catch is that once you've asked a question, those two," she gestured to Kate and Rick, "get to ask a question of you as well. One for one, is that good with everyone?"

Carly was still staring at the papers with wide, incredulous eyes, but Kate and Rick both nodded their consent.

Dr. Lin sighed, "Alrighty, I'll be going. I'll come and check in on you all in about a half hour." She smiled at the trio and stepped out of the room. What the three in the office couldn't hear, was her confident, "Well, I'm sure that's going to blow up in my face."

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

The door barely had time to close before Carly started to think that all the air had been sucked out of the room. What the hell was Dr. Lin thinking, putting her in charge? She'd never been in control of anything more than her hair color.

When she had found her voice again (it seemed that she always lost it at the most inopportune times), she stammered, "So, um, I guess…" She trailed off as she scanned the list of questions. She couldn't help but wonder in which decade had Dr. Lin written all the questions, because the wording seemed dated.

She bit the corner of her bottom lip before muttering, "That chick has _no_ idea what she's just done." If either of the duo sitting across from her had heard what she'd said, they gave no indication.

Finally, she said, "I guess I'm just going to go in order." She angled herself towards Kate and Rick and asked, "What are your full legal names?" She already knew the answers (thank you, Wikipedia), but she was still nervous and quite honestly, her mind just wasn't up to thinking of (or picking) a better question.

Rick answered first, "Richard Edgar Castle," with Kate following with, "Katherine Rose Castle."

Carly nodded and watched in vague interest as the pair seemed to have an entire conversation just with their eyes. Honestly, she found it rather amusing, mostly because she'd never seen anyone ever do something like that, and she also found herself wondering what they could be eye-conversing about.

After a moment, Kate asked, "What's your full name?"

Carly shot back, "Legal or Catholic?"

"Both."

"Okay, my full _legal _name is Caroline Johanna Hayes, but, if I ever attend Mass again, my full Catholic name is Caroline Johanna Lucasta*****Hayes."

She glanced down at the paper again and started to ask, "What do you…well, _that's_ a stupid question. …I give up on these." She dropped the pile of papers into her lap and said, "Favorite movie. What is it?"

Rick sat back a bit and contemplated the question, while Kate answered immediately, "Mary Poppins."

Carly commented, "Really?" Kate rolled her eyes at Carly and smacked her husband on the chest in response to him trying to hide his chuckle with a cough.

Carly swallowed her smirk and turned her attention to Rick, who said, "Blade Runner. Best Harrison Ford movie _ever_."

Carly grinned cheekily and said, "The Halloween before last, Elena and I dressed up as Zhora and Pris. Freaked the Sci-Fi club out _so _much when we crashed their meeting."

"Anyone try to retire you?"

"Of course they tried. This guy dressed up as Darth Vader tried to skewer us with his light saber. …Okay, ask me something. Preferably nothing 'deep'."

Kate asked, "Do you know how your parents chose your name?"

Carly's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but she answered, "They named me after Mama's mom, Caroline Magnolia, but they thought that they'd be dooming me with a middle name like Magnolia. I don't know how they came up with Johanna. Mama always said that it just…fit."

...Only then did the synapses start firing in her mind.

"Oh! 'Cause your mom was named…so that would mean that I…oh…" Carly flushed at her outburst and sunk back into her seat.

She asked quietly, "When you guys were in school, what were your favorite subjects?"

"English." (I'll let you all figure out whose answer that was. Hint: He's a writer)

"Science," was Kate's answer.

Carly could see the shift in Kate, could see her slipping into cop mode (oh, God, she really was getting in over her head. Her mother's a freaking cop. A _cop_), even before she asked her next question.

"How many of your foster homes abused you?"

Carly narrowed her eyes. She was sure that if she tried to lie, she'd be found out, because of all the things, that one of the few that she could never lie about convincingly. But, she was also sure that if she gave an accurate number, there'd be more questions, which would require more answers, and she was pretty sure that she'd end up freaking and running out screaming. Not a bad option…

**XxXxXxX**

Kate could see Carly's shields going up even before she asked her question. After she asked her question, however, Carly's glare was icy and unforgiving, her jaw set, and lips pursed. Kate doubted that she'd get a straight answer, but she had to know. The more she learned about Carly's past, the angrier (and guiltier) she felt.

Yes, she had always wondered 'What If', had always tried to imagine her life if she had kept Carly (none of the scenarios were good. Or, at least she made them that way, to convince herself that she'd done the right thing), but now, after being faced with the fact that Carly had been left motherless, and without family anyway, she really, _really_ wished she could have gone back and changed what she did. Unfortunately, though Rick always talked about the possibility of time travel (highly doubtful, of course), she couldn't, and all she could do for her daughter was be there for her now.

Finally, Carly muttered quietly, "Sixty-four of them."

Kate asked, "How?"

Carly started to toy with the thin, silver chain around her neck, keeping her eyes on the wall. She shot back, "How they got away with it?"

Carly didn't seem to see's Kate's ensuing nod, but she said, "There are close to thirty thousand kids in the New York foster care system. There are only about twenty thousand social workers to deal with us, every homeless person in a shelter, and every elderly person in a home. They have to deal with recovering crack addicts and teen mothers in halfway houses, have to handle every disabled person that has no one else. The non-deadly foster kids tend to slip through the cracks. For some reason, I'm considered non-deadly."

The bitterness in Carly's eyes was tempered with a glint of mischievousness, and she smirked slightly. "Seriously, y'all should see me with a ballpoint pen. I s_tabbed_ my last social worker."

"Y'all?"

"My parents were from the south! I'm allowed to say y'all and ain't and dagnabbit."

"Okay, I get that, but _stabbed_?"

"I only poked it through his hand. Barely bled. Besides, he totally deserved it. Alright, new topic."

**XxXxXxX**

Dr. Lin watched the trio from her observation room. Mr. Castle and Carly seemed to be chatting about the original Star Wars movies versus the newer versions whilst Mrs. Castle looked on. She made a quick note in their file and devised a strategy.

From what she had seen in the past twenty minutes, Carly and her step-father got along quite well, and it seemed that Carly had no anger or negative feelings towards him. Her and her mother were a completely different matter altogether.

Dr. Lin could tell immediately that that was where she would have to begin. They were so similar, they clashed often. Both refused to voice their true feelings and what they actually thought about the other (she had to assume that that was a genetic trait of some sort. Thank God, her children were nothing like that). They also each had their own crosses to bear, and Dr. Lin couldn't help but think that if they put said crosses down for a moment (just a moment!), that many, _many_ breakthroughs could be made.

That being said, neither struck her as the type to give in easily, so that idea was out the window. Whenever they spoke, Carly didn't maintain eye contact with her mother, instead looking around the room. And, another thing, they weren't asking the right questions! Dr. Lin had dealt with families rocked by divorce, drug use, teen pregnancies, abuse, the whole nine yards, but she'd never had to handle a family this…unique. And, being so unique, she had to change her normal tactics to fit them. …At least she'd be kept entertained.

**XxXxXxX**

Carly really, truly hated Dr. Lin. It seemed that the woman did not seem to realize that she had no desire to have any sort of positive relationship with her birth-mother, because she had sent Rick out to the waiting room (seriously? He was the peacekeeper, dammit, the peacekeeper!).

Apparently, she and Kate needed to have a 'one on one' conversation to 'better understand one another'. Carly didn't want to understand Kate. She did not want to have a one on one conversation with her, either. _Especially_ with Dr. Lin listening in.

Dr. Lin had told them, "Just chat. And, let there be an understanding, for this to work," she gestured between the two of them, "there has to be a promise of no retribution, no consequences, no matter what is said. That good?" Kate consented and Carly sighed dramatically. And with that, they were alone.

**XxXxXxX**

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**What? Of course I'm not dragging this one bit out as long as humanly possible. Pshaw. Anyway, you can count on at least another full chapter just devoted to this counseling session, and then I'll try to go a bit lighter and bring Tyler back for a chapter, at least, 'cause, you know, he's pretty awesome.**

***I chose Carly's Catholic name (Lucasta) based on her birthday, which shall be revealed at a later date. You see, in the Catholic tradition (or, at least, my little branch of Catholicism), it's normal for a child to take a Catholic name upon confirmation, and usually the name is picked based on which saint is assigned to that specific day. In Carly's case, it was Lucy, with a few variations, in which Lucasta was included. I don't know why I didn't choose Lucy, I guess Lucasta just flowed better.**

**Please review!**


	46. Chapter 46

**So, it's been a while, hasn't it? I truly apologize for that, but school's been a bitch lately and I haven't had a chance to even work on this story. So, I hope to make it up to you with this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Castle.**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

Carly wasn't sure of how it happened, but she somehow ended up on the verge of tears. A Kleenex box had materialized (she was starting to wonder is Dr. Lin was a ninja or something, because she could swear that that box wasn't there a minute before), and it was simply mocking her. She could feel her bottom lip trembling dangerously as she tried to hold it together. She refused to cry in front of Kate again. No, crying was reserved for losing a best friend. Or finding out that she's pregnant. She might cry if that were to happen. But, back to the problem at hand.

Carly and Kate had gone from sitting in silence to talking about the latest Temptation Lane episode to talking about Halloween. And somehow, Halloween had morphed into Thanksgiving (a dangerous subject to begin with) which had then turned into Christmas (ah, so that's where she went wrong). Crap, so maybe she did know how she ended up in this situation.

The talk of Christmas was not solely to blame. In fact, the few Christmases that she had celebrated had been extremely happy. It was the fact that she realized that she could no longer remember what Mama or Henry looked like, talked like, smelled like. Because Christmas was a family holiday, so of course her memories would be filled with them. And they were. Faceless, silent versions of them. _That's _what made her start almost-crying. The fact that, God, all her memories of them were almost wiped clean was killing her, eating away at what was left of her heart. So, that left her with that weird, thick, burning sensation at the back of her throat, and Kate holding out a tissue to her. Carly took it, but crumpled it into her palm as she swallowed her tears.

"Could we talk about something else? …Please?"

She felt ashamed at how shaky her voice sounded. She's supposed to be a freaking ice queen, and yet, here she is, halfway to bawling. Apparently ice queens can melt, or some shit like that.

Kate asked, "Why did you start dancing?"

Finally, something that wouldn't make her spontaneously burst out into tears.

"Oh, um, well, I knew Ruby from before. I think we had had a summer school class together or something when we were, like, seven, and, I mean, we weren't exactly close, but we were friends, and she knew that I was looking for something to do on the weekends that wasn't community service, so she called me and told me about it. I wasn't going to actually do it, I figured I'd show up for the first class, but then I met Tyler…and Damien and Emma and Reggie and Sarah and everyone. I don't know, it just…gave me something to look forward to. Like, if I could make it through seven nights of a crappy foster family and crappy 'family' dinners, I'd have this great big reward. And, I mean, it was a nice break from the whole, 'You deserve to die, bitch' thing that I heard most Sundays."

What she doesn't tell Kate is that after being called fat and ugly and stupid, it was nice to be in a place that she felt, oh, let's be clichéd about it, shall we? It was nice to be in a place where she felt beautiful. And dancing with Tyler–. Carly stopped herself from thinking dangerous thoughts. Tyler had nothing to do with whether she felt beautiful or not. She could be dancing with Damien or Reggie or Jake and it wouldn't make a difference. She kept herself from thinking about the fact that she'd danced with all of the boys in dance class at some point or another, and none of them gave her the same feeling that Tyler did. Damn.

Carly decided that something inside her broke (probably the filter between her mind and her mouth, but she doesn't like to dwell on things like that), because she began rambling.

"So, my psychiatrist, Dr. G, says that I should 'talk' to you more, and that I should just accept the fact that the past can't be changed, and I'd like to, I really would, but I just can't. I can't let go of the whole inferiority complex that I seem to have developed since, like, birth, and I can't let go of the fact that everyone freaking leaves me. And I really should stop talking, but I never seem to do what I should, so…"

Dr. G also says that I ought to cop to the fact that I used to drink. Like, a huge freaking _lot_. He told me that I should tell you, because apparently, children shouldn't keep secrets like that from their parents/guardians. Which I think is stupid, but I can't think of anything else to say and honestly, I'm really sick of being angry at you. I mean, for the longest time, you were just this faceless, soulless person that I got to label 'Public Enemy Number One' and blame for every last thing that ever has gone wrong in my life."

But now, I guess I have to admit it, you're not a bitch, and for some odd reason, you seem to have a soul, which makes me wonder how on earth I ended up so bitchy, but I guess it's the whole nature vs. nurture thing. And _no_, I am not drunk right now, I swear, I'm not that stupid. I mean, you're a cop, I'm pretty sure that you could sniff out even a drop of alcohol on my person. And I do _not_ want to push my luck at this point."

Carly took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair. Damn, she had even surprised herself. Oh, the things that sleep deprivation will do to a person. She really ought to do her final Psychology project on that… Carly finally worked up enough nerve to look at Kate. She couldn't quite read her face, but she never really expected to, either.

Kate breathed, "Wow. That…I really needed to know that. I needed to know how you feel about all of this. Thank you."

"But don't get used to it, okay? I don't particularly like talking about how I 'feel' about things. But…I really mean it. I'm sick of hating you, and seriously, I've gotten, like, twelve gray hairs from the stress of trying to come up with bitchy things to say. I swear, that was the real reason that I dyed my bangs blonde. You can't see silver through blonde. I hope."

"Oh, by the way, could you give me a heads up the next time that you want to dye your hair?"

"Why? Wouldn't you like the mini-heart attack that you'd have if I showed up with bright green hair? …Maybe that'll be my next color."

"No, no green, please."

"Oh, well, I guess I'll admit that green isn't exactly my color. For hair, anyway."

"Okay, fair enough. Alright, anything else that I need to know about you?"

Carly snorted and said, "Oh, where to begin? I've got a tattoo, just to warn you, but it's not horrible, just a little star underneath the words, 'I può essere sdraiato nel fango, ma io sto fissando le stelle'. It means, 'I may be lying in the gutter, but I'm staring at the stars'. One of my foster brother's knew a guy who knew a guy who gave underage kids tattoos. I got it when I was twelve, for my birthday."

My favorite color is blue; my first pet was Henry's old hamster, Georginette, who died when I was four. Apparently ice cream is _not_ suitable hamster food. I have an unholy fear of snakes, which may or may not be why Elena and I 'accidently' rolled over one with our tricycles. I used to know how to sew, but I stopped when I was eleven, after I sewed a pillow to my favorite pair of shorts. Seriously, no pair of shorts can bounce back from that. I helped deliver my foster sister's baby about ten months ago, and, I swear, I'm scarred for life. I was raised Catholic, and I really should go to confession more often, but hell, it's not like I'm a particularly _good_ Catholic. Alright, I'm absolutely done sharing for the next…hmmm…seventy-two hours. Your turn."

"What do you want to know?"

"Um, I don't know. What do you think I should know?"

"I broke my arm when I was twelve, and I had to get screws put in. When I was twenty-five, I bought a motorcycle, and yes, I still have it, and no, I will never, _ever_ let you ride it. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a teacher, but obviously that didn't happen. I never had any pets growing up, and it wasn't until a couple of years ago that I ever saw the appeal. I'm secretly addicted to The Ellen Show, and I once almost won tickets to a show. The first time I tried to kick in a door, right after I made detective, my foot got stuck."

Carly inquired, "In the door?"

"In the door," Kate confirmed.

Carly couldn't help but smirk.

Kate continued, "When I was a kid, my mom would drag my father and me to mass every Christmas Eve, and I wish I had paid more attention to what was going on. My favorite color is red, and I once dyed my hair black. It was horrible, and it started fading almost as fast as I had dyed it. I also know a few magic tricks that my grandfather taught me when I was a little younger than you. That enough information about me?"

"Will you add magic tricks to the list of things that you've promised to teach me?"

"What else is on the list?"

"More Russian, seeing as all I can do is basically swear."

"Then, yes."

"Okay. I feel like we've shared enough."

Kate agreed, and Carly walked over to the door, yanked it open, and yelled, "Dr. Lin! We've 'opened the lines of communication'! I'm pretty sure that we 'better understand each other' now!"

Carly sat back down, this time on the couch next to Kate (albeit on the opposite end of the couch, as far away as possible, but it was progress. Progress!), and counted quietly, "Three…two…and…"

Dr. Lin pushed open the door a second later. "Next time, Carly, I'd appreciate it if you didn't yell down the hall. I would have come in in a few moments anyway."

Carly simply rolled her eyes.

**XxXxXxX**

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**So, I hope you liked it, and I hope that you didn't think that it was rushed. I was just basing it off of how quickly I'd share my secrets when I'm running on, like, four hours of sleep for a week. And yes, I based the 'Beckett's foot stuck in door' thing off of the season 1 commentaries. Anyway, please review!**


	47. Chapter 47

**DUDE! Mega chapter alert! Well, not mega in some people's eyes, but mega in comparison to my normal, thousand word chapters. So, WOOT! And, for reals, did y'all see the last Castle? I was like, "Oh. My. GOD." And then I said a bunch more words, most that aren't heard on cable television, so they won't be heard here. :) **

**So, here's the long awaited new chapter. Yay! And, because I'm sure more than a few of you are like, FINISH THE DAMN STORY, so, I will say, for all it's taken to get to this point, things will move a bit faster from here on out. I'm hoping to wrap this thing up at just under ninety chapters, so, here's hoping I stick to that!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

"So, how was your week, my Egg McMuffin?"

Tyler glared down at Carly and hissed, "You know I hate that nickname."

She elbowed him in the ribs and said, "Loosen up. This'll only be the fifth time that we got passed over for the competition. We've still got two more tries until our dance careers are officially over."

"When'd you become Miss Optimism?"

"I dunno, ten minutes ago? Come one, usually, you're the one that's calming me down. Oh, God, did we switch personalities or something? Because, I swear, if I start talking like a knight and flipping my hair, I'm going to kill you."

"And she's back. I was about to slap some sense into you."

"I thought you of all people would have appreciated my peppiness."

"Ugh, not today. My dad's in town and my mom's going crazy, trying to convince me and Jackie to go visit him."

That was something Carly could help with. She was well-versed in the world of Daddy Issues. She shifted closer to Tyler, almost subconsciously, and slipped her hand into his.

"Why's he back?"

Tyler rubbed his eyes with his free hand tiredly and muttered, "It's Ella and Angie's birthday next week, so he showed up with his new wife and their new baby."

Carly knew all about Tyler's father, how he'd left the family right after his mom got pregnant with his little sisters, and how he'd remarried all of two months later. She rubbed his arm comfortingly and said, "Well, if you tell me where he parks his car, I could key 'dick' on the side, slash the tires, break the windows…"

"You've already got a record."

"You assume that I'd get caught."

Tyler laughed and said, "Oh, God, I'm going to be the reason that you return to a life of crime. I'll have to explain to your cop-mother why I let you get thrown into Juvie. Again."

"I was in for two days, Ty. It's not exactly like I'm a hardened criminal."

"Says you."

"Says the judge. And the guards. And my cellmate. And the lawyers. And the–."

"I get it, I get it. The girl that pantsed me on my birthday and shoved an open bottle of hot sauce down my underwear is a softie."

Carly elbowed Tyler again and whispered, "Oh, shut up, here come's Mary."

She pulled Tyler off of the wall that he was leaning on and waited as other dance partners did the same.

Mary clapped her hands together, startling Marshall, who was following her closely, and said, "Okay, my beauties! It's that time of year again, and you _all_ know what that means!"

She waited, as if expecting an answer, and then continued, "Competition time! So, after many months of deliberation, Marshy and I have decided on the four couples that we will be sending to regionals."

She waited as Marshall did a drumroll on his thighs.

"The first couple is a pair of veterans, as you all know. Sarah and Reginald."

Carly smirked as Reggie ducked his head at his full name, while Sarah blushed furiously.

"Next on the list is a newbie to our regionals list. Lindsay and Elliot."

Tyler nudged Carly and she looked over at where he was pointing. The newest additions to the dance class, a pair of ten year olds, were almost jumping with glee.

"And another pair of veterans, Ruby and Damien."

Ruby smiled graciously and rubbed Damien's shoulder as he hyperventilated (on cue!). Carly bumped Ruby with her hip and gave her a thumbs up.

"And finally, another set of newbies…"

Mary got very silent and scanned the classroom. Was it just Carly's imagination, or did her eyes linger on her and Tyler for a moment longer?

"Hazel and Louis!"

Carly let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding and Tyler squeezed her hand.

Mary smiled at the class and said, "Now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's get down to business. We're going to get started on the rumba. Fun, right?"

She and Marshall left the group to find an empty space of floor for themselves and their partners, and Tyler said to Carly, "We've still got two more years, right?" She nodded slowly and leaned into him.

**XxXxXxX**

"We could switch."

Carly rolled her eyes at Ruby's suggestion and said, "Rubes, you're going to compete and you're going to kick ass like always."

Ruby sat down on the bench in front of the lockers and said, "Yeah, but Damien and I _never_ win. I think if I get sick or 'break' something, you and Ty can compete. I saw Mary's list, you're couple number five. If something happens to any of us, you guys are up next."

"Ruby, listen to me, you're going to compete. I'm not. That's how this works. Kay?"

"Ugh, fine, I was trying to do something nice for you. Oh! Wait, speaking of nice, I brought your costume for my party."

"Seriously? I thought that I was going to get to dress myself this year."

"You'd dress like a nun is you had a say."

"…So?"

"C'mere."

Carly peeked over her friend's shoulder as Ruby rifled through her gym bag.

"Here it is."

Carly looked at the plastic encased costumed suspiciously. "I can't even see what it is."

"Exactly. So, my mom and I are going to pick you up after school and then I'll do your makeup and hair and stuff, and then sleepover, kay?"

"You've got all of the Scream movies, right?"

"Of course."

"And M&Ms, kettle corn, hot sauce, and–."

"Pickles. Carls, we've been doing this for almost five years now. I know what supplies are needed."

"Mhmm, says the genius that waited 'til the last second to send out invites to her party."

"Careful, I hold the key to you having an ass-kicking Halloween."

"It wouldn't be a party without me and you know it."

"Good point. No one else is crazy enough to dance on tables. _Without_ alcohol."

"Whatever Ruby. I'll see you Friday night."

"M'kay."

Carly waved over her shoulder at her other friends and slipped out. Tyler was waiting for her.

He shot up from his seat on the ground and said, "I think I saw your mother in the lobby."

Carly was a little surprised at that, because after the Dr. Lin counseling session, per Dr. Lin's advice, ground rules and schedules were made, and Carly had managed to get her way about being able to get home from dance class on her own.

Tyler said, "I'll see you at Ruby's party?"

"'Course. What're you going as?"

"Don't know. I'm letting Jackie pick out my costume this year. I'm sure I'm going to end up as Zac Efron, or something."

"I would love to see that. I'll see you later, Ty. And my offer still stands."

"Carly, keying cars and slashing tires and breaking–."

Carly cut him off with a sharp jab to the ribs as she noticed that their wandering was bringing them dangerously close to certain parental hearing range.

"Yeesh Carlini, I was just saying that you being a cri–."

This time she stomped on his toes and said loudly, "Hi Kate!"

Tyler noticed (finally!) who was surrounding them, and started fighting a grin. "Anyway, Carly, as I was saying, you being a crim–."

"Tyler, if you value your deepening voice, I'd suggest you walk away."

Tyler held his hands up in surrender and said, "Fine, fine. Bye Carly. Bye Carly's mom."

Kate looked a little surprised at the title, but smiled at Tyler and waved.

Tyler turned and jogged off to the dance room again.

"I swear, one of these days, he'll push me too far… Anyway, what's up? I thought that I was responsible enough to walk home on my own."

"Your social worker called and wants us to meet her at her office."

Carly's stomach plummeted (and heart, too, if she was going to be honest about it. But then again, when was she ever?), and she asked, "Did she say why?"

Kate shook her head no.

**XxXxXxX**

The car ride was silent, and Carly hated it ever so much. But, she was too preoccupied with relatively terrifying thoughts to try and make small talk. When they pulled up in front of her social worker's office building, the small group of paparazzi told them that Rick had already arrived.

Kate asked, "Is there a back entrance?"

"Well, no."

"Then I'm really sorry for what you're about to go through. Okay, you're going to walk in front of me, keep your head down, and walk fast."

Carly nodded.

"And if anyone asks you a question specifically, just don't answer if you don't want to."

"Head down, walk fast, mouth shut. Hmm, sounds like passing period at school."

Kate parked the car and asked, "Ready?"

"No." Carly sunk into her seat a little.

"It's not as bad as it seems. Just don't think about it, and it'll go a lot faster."

"M'kay."

"Let's go."

Carly didn't think she had ever felt so claustrophobic. She wanted to puke. People pressed in around her, or, more accurately, around Kate. Their voices blended together, and if one of them asked her a question, she didn't hear it. And then it was over.

"You okay?"

"Fine, just fine."

Kate rubbed her shoulder and said, "It gets easier."

Carly didn't tell her that the mob that they had just walked through wasn't what had her freaking out. It was the fact that, in her experience, whenever her social worker had her meet her at the CPS offices, she tended to be given bad news (i.e. "You're going to Juvie."; "You're getting moved."; "I think you need to go see –insert therapist's name here–.").

But that _so _wasn't making her wish that she had an alias and a glue-on mustache and a plane ticket to Mexico. Because she was Carly, and that stuff wasn't supposed to scare her (even though it did, it really did).

So, maybe she stuck a little closer to Kate than she normally would have, and maybe she entertained the idea of hiring one of her old foster care friends to take her father _out_, but she'd be damned if she'd admit it. Or maybe she'd be damned if she didn't. At this point, she couldn't have cared less.

She tried to make herself think about happier things, like the fact that maybe, _maybe_, her social worker hadn't called about custody stuff, but instead wanted them all to come in to just make sure that everyone was still alive, seeing as Carly hadn't been moved yet.

Her thoughts wandered to Extreme Home Makeover: Home Edition, and, for some odd reason, the voice in her head turned into Ty Pennington on a bullhorn. The optimistic thoughts were getting annoying, so she tried to stop thinking all together.

Which, of course, led her to begin thinking about the most random of things, i.e. whether unicorns were horses with a horn super glued on or whether they were zebras painted pastel colors with a horn super glued on. She liked the idea of them being zebras with identity issues.

And, with her mind wandering, Carly didn't even notice that she and Kate were fast approaching CPS headquarters. Damn.

Once inside the office, a strange calm settled over her. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she thought that it may have been hope. Or perhaps just resignation.

The office looked like it had the last time she had been there, exactly three months ago, almost to the day. The walls still bore the scars of some of the more…expressive kids that passed through, and the little activities table that was set up in the middle of the waiting area was still somewhat bloodstained.

Carly smothered a smirk, remembering the jerk of a dad that had gotten his ass handed to him by a fifteen year old girl. She wondered if they were ever going to just cut their losses and buy a new table. Probably not.

Kate had walked up to the secretary, but she covered the phone receiver and said before any query could be placed, "Dana's ready for you."

The secretary, a new one by Carly's reckoning, pointed down the hall to the left and went back to her phone conversation. "So, the minor threatened to 'cut' you? In what context…"

Carly wondered whether she was discussing someone that she might know.

This time, Carly slipped in front of Kate and led her down the hall to her social worker's office. Dana Franklin had only been assigned to Carly case for six months, but already Carly liked her more than any of the other twenty-seven case workers she had had. Firstly, she let Carly call her by her first name, and secondly, she never made Carly feel like it was her fault that she was being moved.

Normally, she'd look forward to meeting with her. But, this situation was nowhere near her normal.

Dana's door was open, and from about halfway down the hall, she could hear her father's angry voice almost completely drowning out Dana's. She assumed that Dana had sent Rick to another room once her father had arrived. Probably better that way. And, since she wasn't sure about whether Kate would recognize Paul from the precinct, Carly picked up her pace and knocked on the doorframe.

"Hi Dana." She kept her eyes away from Paul.

Dana looked up from the staring contest she was apparently engaged in with Carly's father, and said, "Hello Carly. Is your foster mother here, too?" Carly gestured vaguely behind her in lieu of an actual answer, figuring that Kate was still far enough away from the door.

Paul paused his angry rant long enough to drawl, "Hello Caroline." Carly resisted the urge to flip him off and remind him that no one but him called her Caroline anymore.

Dana said, "Well, Mr. Hayes, I think I've heard quite enough. Now if you could just wait in the room just across the hall."

Paul got up and sauntered out. Carly stared at him as he passed her. He had cut his hair, it seemed, and shaved his mini-beard as well. The look of smug victory that was plastered on his mug told Carly that he had already won the battle. She remembered that look from when he'd scream and send her cowering in the corner.

Dana turned to her and said, "Now, Carly, if you could tell your foster parents to come in, I'd like to speak with them alone for a moment. You can wait in the office to the right."

Carly nodded, turning on her heel to beckon Kate and find Rick. However, much to her surprise, Kate was standing right behind her, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"Um…Dana wants to talk with you and Rick."

When she was met with silence, she continued, "I'm going to…uhm, just walk away now…" She stepped around Kate and hurried into the empty office.

**XxXxXxX**

Waiting was probably the worst part of any CPS visit. Actually, the physical act of waiting wasn't so bad; it was the not knowing that drove Carly insane. All she could hear were muted voices on the other side of the wall, and, since she wasn't in the mood to eavesdrop aggressively, she had to deal with trying to figure out whether Dana said that bananas were on sale or the boat didn't have a sail. Either way, she felt dumb. And lazy. And useless. And absolutely terrified.

Finally, after what seemed to be hours, the voices stopped, and the door to the office opened. Dana walked in and sat down behind the desk opposite Carly, laced her fingers together, and said, "And the custody war has begun."

Carly looked up sharply in surprise, not even bothering trying to keep her face neutral.

"Not expecting it?"

Carly nodded in response to Dana's question.

"Well, they're definitely adamant about their position. And Mr. Hayes is stubborn as a bull, as I'm sure you know."

Carly smothered a smirk and nodded in agreement.

"Alright Carly, I'm not one for lying. I want to know. Who would you rather be with? Paul Hayes, or the Castles?"

"Is this a trick question?"

At Dana's eye-roll, she answered, "The Castles. Paul Hayes is an abusive drunkard."

"And the Castles aren't?"

"No duh."

"Have they hit you?"

"No."

"Touched you in any way that made you feel uncomfortable?"

"I think we both know that if that happened, someone would be in a hospital, and it wouldn't be me."

"Point taken. Have you observed any illegal activities?"

"She's a cop, Dana. A _cop_."

"Do you feel safe there?"

"Yes."

"Are your basic needs being met?"

"No."

"Explain."

"My basic needs include a private jet. I have yet to receive my jet."

"Hardy har har. Other than that?"

"Yuppers."

"Are you happy there?"

Carly scrunched up her nose thoughtfully. "Define happy."

Dana raised an eyebrow before saying, "Comfortable, unstressed, not dreading going home at night and things like that."

"Then yeah, I'm relatively happy there."

"Relatively?"

"Um, I've kind of hated this woman for fourteen years. it's not all rainbows and sugar plums. Some bumps were to be expected."

"Bumps?"

"Don't worry. We've been dragged into counseling. The bumps are being forcibly ironed out by Dr. Lin."

"Oh, you're seeing Debbie. Good, good. Alright, so you want to stay with the Castles, yes?"

"Mhmm. Have I not just been saying exactly that?"

"You have, but before I pass this off to the courts, I need to be completely sure of your position. This rarely happens over foster kids, like yourself, especially with the circumstances that you have, what with your biological mother and her husband on one side and your adoptive father on the other.

"But, now that we have that settled, I get to brief you on what you're going to go through. You're going to have to meet with both lawyers, most likely, and after that, you're going to have to talk to a judge, maybe even speak in court, if you're comfortable with that. Worst case scenario, this case will be dismissed, and you'll continue on your foster care rounds, though I doubt that it will come to that."

Carly restrained herself from correcting her in saying that, no that was not the worst case scenario, her being sent back to her father was. But, hey, it was only her future they were talking about.

**XxXxXxX**

Let the record show that, for all her snark and bad attitude, Carly was very good at cheering people up. She just wasn't sure how to cheer herself up. Being faced with something as…_unknown_ as some custody battle, especially one over her, was terrifying, and she, ever the secret keeper, had no idea as to how she could express her– oh, let's be clichéd–, her inner turmoil.

Luckily for her, she didn't have to figure it out. When they got back to the loft, Rick announced that he was going to call a few people, try and find a good family law attorney, leaving a silent Kate and an almost-unhinged Carly alone.

"You okay?"

Until Kate uttered that question, Carly hadn't quite realized that her hands were shaking, nor had she realized just how shaken she was from the whole ordeal. She didn't let herself overthink her next action.

Instead, she just turned on her heel, wrapped her arms around Kate's waist, buried her face in her shirt, and sobbed.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**Was it mega enough for y'all? And, I apologize for my sudden upswing in southern slang. My grandma grew up in Texas, and since her most recent hospital trip (nothing major, thank _god_), she's been spouting our southern belle speak for days. It's rubbed off, if you've had yet to notice. Anyway, I hope it was good, if not great, and I would really appreciate a review!**


	48. Chapter 48

**New chapter! It's been a while, hasn't it, my friends? I'm so sorry about the rather long wait. I've been ill, and the only thing I've really been writing have been rather, er, well, depressing. So, it's only been recently that I've been able to put on my Carly Writer Hat and get down to business. And yes, that means that this chapter is more...hmmm, uplifting I suppose. Or more positive. Less disturbing, definitely. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

**(and thank you for putting up with my long abscence and venting!)**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Mistakes were not things that Carly took lightly, since making a mistake in the foster system tended to end with you being hit or slammed into something. But there was one mistake she would willingly own up to, and that was her initial thoughts about and treatment of Kate and Rick.

She was a mega-bitch to them, something they had done nothing to deserve, and in that moment, wrapped in a mother's embrace (yes, she said mother. Get over it), Carly felt immensely guilty. She thought that somewhere in the midst of all her sobbing and sniffling, she managed to choke out an apology or something, though she could not be quite sure. And Kate just stood there, rubbing her back and occasionally dropping a kiss onto her head, murmuring that it'd be all right, that everything would turn out fine, she _promised_.

Finally, Carly pulled what was left of her pride together and collected herself, pulling back from the hug slowly and wiping her face in an attempt to destroy all evidence of her breakdown. The fit of hiccups she dissolved into stalled such attempts, however.

She finally managed to choke out, "God, Kate, I was a bitch, and I'm really, _really_ sorry, I swear, and I–."

"Hey," Kate said softly, as she cupped Carly's chin in her hand and made her look her in the eye, "stop calling yourself that. You were angry and had every right to be. You were not, nor are you currently, a bitch."

"I _was_–."

"You weren't."

After Kate released her chin, Carly ducked her head again. "…Agree to disagree." Carly muttered the last sentence so quietly that she was sure that Kate couldn't have heard.

But Kate exhaled slowly and said, "One day, Carly, you're going to see that you are so much more than what you believe."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

After that day, Carly relaxed into her new life, realizing that, just maybe, she didn't have to protect herself; that maybe someone else was willing to do so, instead. And _that_ was possibly the best thing she'd ever felt.

Kate asked, the day before the Halloween party, when Carly was just starting to buzz in excitement, "Do you have a ride to Ruby's?"

"Yeah," Carly answered, reaching for another piece of bacon, "Mrs. Forrester is picking me up after school."

"And then?"

"And then we'll party like wild animals –supervised wild animals, of course– and then I'm sleeping over at Ruby's."

"What time will you be home?"

"…Noonish, probably."

"Kay. Do you have a winter coat?"

"I don't think so. …Why?"

"It's getting cold, and you will not freeze to death on my watch. You up for a shopping spree?"

"Well, when you put it that way…"

"You could get some new clothes, some things for your room."

"Sure. As long as you don't act like those moms at the mall who always try and dress their daughters like strippers."

At Kate's raised eyebrows, Carly said quickly, "Right, ignore me. I forgot who I was talking to."

Kate watched her for another moment as she poured yet another cup of coffee, and finally said, "I'll pick you up after school, alright?"

"Sounds good. Hot da–…dang, this coffee is good." Carly made a face, cupping the mug in her hands, and said, "Doesn't have the same ring to it."

A quick glance at the clock sent her rushing for her backpack, and Kate said, "I'll drive you."

"I'm perfectly capable of taking the subway."

In the days following what Carly liked to refer to as the 'Paul Incident', things had definitely been better, though this did not mean that there were no arguments. In fact, now that communication lines were open, arguments were cropping up left and right, and one topic of much dispute was Carly's insistence on getting herself to and from places.

Kate attributed it to Carly being all but on her own for so long, that the stubborn independence was ingrained into her mind so deeply that giving in would seem like a monumental loss, but it didn't stop her from worrying every time Carly left the apartment. She had seen too much death, had seen too many young girls murdered to think that Carly was completely safe in any situation, but her going off on her own did not help.

Kate looked at the clock as well, and said, "C'mon, you'll be late either way." Another unpleasant face. "…Fine."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

"I'll see you later?"

Carly glanced back at Kate and nodded, flashed a smile, and ran for homeroom, hoping that she could make it before the final tardy bell. Of course, this would have been more easily accomplished if she had just worn her old, well-worn boots, scuffs and all.

Instead, she had opted for a newer pair, a Christmas gift from Elena the year before. And, with the two inches of heel they had, they, of course, immediately made her fall. Rolling her eyes, she clambered to her feet and continued at a slower pace; changing her direction when the bell sounded and homeroom officially began.

Jean was nice, as always, and marked it as an excused tardy, something Carly was extremely grateful for, because if she had one more unexcused tardy, she'd have detention for, like, forever. The day passed quickly, after that, and before Carly knew it, it was quittin' time.

As the final bell rang, Carly gathered her books and headed to her locker, where her friends were waiting. She frowned; they usually never waited at her locker, for _anything_, mostly because it was right next to the janitor's closet, and the creepy janitor never seemed to leave said closet.

As she got closer, Hannah held up a magazine, its headline blaring, "Castle's Wife Has Illegitimate Child?"

"Seriously, you guys? Where'd you get this?"

The picture was of her, Kate, and Rick from a few nights earlier, when they had voted for Indian food and had decided that they would actually eat there, instead of just ordering in. She was mid-bite, apparently, and, God, they _had _to use that picture? Although, she was surprised that this hadn't happened sooner.

Penelope said, "They have an inside source, Carly. Inside. Source."

"Oh, God, that's _so_ terrible. Guys, it was to be expected. I mean, he's who he is, she's who she is, and I just happen to be there. No big deal."

However, it became a big deal when someone brushed past her and murmured, "Bastard."

Fiona turned her wide eyes to Carly, and said in a hushed tone, "People have been saying things."

"About you," Julia added.

"Mean things," was Tanya's contribution. It was like a twisted game of Mad Libs.

"What, exactly, have they been saying?" Carly shifted her weight and started opening her locker, exchanging her books slowly, methodically, so she didn't have to focus on the pounding in her head or the acute awareness of people watching her.

"They've been saying that you must be a slut, like your mother; that you'll probably be pregnant by the time you're in high school; that your father is probably some junkie that's too strung out to care; and that you'll spread your legs for anyone. Which is, really, basically the same thing as the first thing, but no one ever lis–." Sophia cut off abruptly when Carly turned to face her, glaring.

Georgia, who had been all but silent since Elena died, surprised everyone and said flatly, "You shouldn't be blaming us."

Carly glared at her, as well, and hissed, "Well, I can't really blame anyone else, and you guys thought it was smart to tell me about this."

Penelope said, "Carly, it's not–."

"I have to go."

She slammed her locker shut and walked down the hall, the other students parting like the red sea for her, eyes wide, and silent.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

"So, how was your day?" From the silent scowl Carly gave, Kate could assume that it didn't go well. At all. "What happened?"

"Why do you assume something happened?"

Carly crossed her arms angrily, glaring at the students milling around the parking lot and waiting area, feeling utterly betrayed by her classmates.

"Okay, does it have to do with a class?" Kate asked as she pulled out into traffic.

"What is this, Twenty Questions?" When she received no answer, Carly finally said, "Cold."

"Your friends?"

"Warmer."

The Hot-Cold game was a new thing, something Carly had started when she didn't feel like answering a question that Kate had asked about an old foster home of hers. So, instead of answering with a real answer, she spouted out Cold-Colder-Warm-Warmer-Hot and the like, letting Kate guess and guess until she got it right. It had become routine for them, almost.

"Alright. Did you have an argument with one of them?"

"Lukewarm."

"Explain that."

"I didn't argue with them specifically. More like I just got mad and glared. A lot."

"Did they tell you something you didn't want to hear?" Kate had learned that the only time Carly didn't speak, only glared silently, was when she was told something she absolutely refused to believe.

"Burning, but not quite there."

"Something about you?"

"Volcano level."

"About…about you being a foster kid?"

"Almost."

"About you being my kid?"

"You've hit the sun."

Kate rolled to a stop behind a taxi and said, "Okay, this deserves an actual answer. What happened?"

Carly grabbed the magazine that someone had shoved into her locker earlier in the day, without her knowledge, of course, and handed it to Kate, who scanned it and said, "I'm so sorry."

"Well, it's true," Carly said in a flat tone, "I can't blame my classmates for talking. I'd talk, if I were them."

"What are they saying?"

"Well, to quote Sophia, they've been saying that I must be a slut, like you _obviously_ were; I'll probably be pregnant by the time I'm in high school; my biological father is probably some junkie that's too strung out to care; and that I'll spread my legs for anyone. Which is great, just _great_, 'cause it's not like I have to go to school with these kids for the next four and a half years or anything."

She crossed her arms again, and frowned, somewhat annoyed at how weak she sounded, how petty her problem sounded. Kate was resisting the immediate urge to turn around and go straight to Ms. Cherie with the problem, but she had been bullied enough in school that she knew that that was never the best solution.

Instead, she said what she wished someone had said to her then. "That sucks."

Carly looked up in surprise and said, "Uh, yeah. …Thanks."

"Do you want me to talk to your teachers about it?"

"No, thanks. It'll blow over, I'm positive."

"Alright." After a minute, Kate asked cheerfully, "You ready for a shopping spree?"

"…I guess."

"Great. Now, pick; Target, Macy's, or Sears?"

"I don't know. I've never been in those stores, except when Elena dragged me along for a _Major Sale_ or something. You pick."

"Let's start with Target and work our way up."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

"Oh, my God, that was perhaps the _most_ fun I've had in _so_ long," Carly said giddily, walking through the door of the apartment with her arms laden with bags.

Kate smiled and said, "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

"I have never understood the appeal of shopping until now. Seriously, I'm, like, in nirvana, right now."

Carly was grinning, at this point, absolutely grinning, with the smile reaching her eyes and making her whole face light up, a sight that Kate had yet to see. She realized, now, just how hard Carly had been trying to protect herself, just how much she had kept hidden.

"I can't believe you let me get these boots, though. I mean, they're totally impractical."

"Sometimes practicality has nothing to do with it. Have you seen _my_ shoes?"

Carly glanced at the sky-high heels Kate was currently wearing, and made a face, responding, "How do you _walk_ in those things?"

"With lots of practice. Do you want some help setting your room up?"

"Sure, that'd be great."

"And then Italian for dinner?"

Carly nodded, and asked, "Rick going to be here?"

"He should be, but sometimes his publicist manages to keep him longer," Kate sighed, as she dropped a few of the bags on the floor, kicking off her heels as she did so.

Carly glanced at all the bags and asked slowly, "…So, do you remember which bags are clothes and which is room stuff?"

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

An hour later, with clothes safely (officially!) hung up or folded in drawers and with posters and lampshades and various other crap that Carly had deemed necessary, she and Kate took a step back to admire their handiwork.

With the new, blue lampshades, the whole room looked either like it was underwater or up in the sky. Either way, Carly loved it. Paired with the purple and black bedding set, it looked rather…mystical. Or mysterious. Or some other m-adjective crap. She couldn't quite bring herself to care.

All she could really think was how desperately she wanted to stay here, with Kate and Rick and her new, gorgeous room.

* * *

**End of chapter, what, forty-eight? God, have I really managed to drag this out for almost fifty chapters? Well, since I've already got chapter forty-nine written, let's take suggestions from the audience for chapter fifty, shall we? I'll try and incorporate some in the MEGA-FIFTIETH CHAPTER and I'll give credit for ideas in the end author's note. **

**BTW, I just realized, this story's one year anniversary was in February. Can you believe that? So, the fiftieth chapter will also act as the celebration of making one full year, as of Feb. 21, 2012! Someone break out the apple juice!**

**Oh, and review, por favor. :)**


	49. Chapter 49

**Okay, so, good and bad news. Good news; I'm updating! Bad news; this is probably my last update until June (thanks finals!). And, on a completely unrelated note, I absolutely LOVE the Avengers. Specifically Black Widow and Hawkeye. I must know what happened in Budapest!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

"God, Ruby, watch the scalp!"

"Oh, hush." Ruby jabbed another pin into Carly's newly straightened-then-curled hair, and spoke around a mouthful of more pins, "If you'd stop fidgeting, I wouldn't keep stabbing you in the head."

Carly grumbled, "Well, if you'd stop STABBING me, I'd stop fidgeting. Catch-22, riiiight?"

Ruby stabbed a pin in with an ounce more malice than normal. "There. Done."

"Thank _God_. I feel like I've been scalped."

"Well, look, dammit, and bask in the glory that is your hair, now."

Carly rolled her eyes and walked over to the mirror, something she had been banned from doing all during her "MEGA MAKEOVER" as Ruby had put it, shrieking it across the parking lot when Carly had appeared after school.

She had to admit, she rather liked her hair now that her curls were tamed. She never had the will power or the patience to do anything like what Ruby had done, which was straighten it all, braid the majority of it into a bun, and then re-curl the few strands that were to be left to frame her face. All in all, it looked complicated and really freaking amazing.

She was rather happy with the minimal makeup, as well, just a little bit of stuff around her eyes, a touch of blush, and some lip gloss. The foundation Ruby had applied on her various scars hid them completely, something she was grateful for. And then her eyes traveled down to her costume.

She winced and said, "Uh, Ruby? Doesn't this look a little…tight?" She gestured to the top half, which was fitted, and a bit more revealing than she liked, and stretched taut across her chest. And if that wasn't enough, the fabric for the skirt was pulling tight around her hips, which, last time she checked, were not as rounded out as they seemed to be now.

Ruby walked over and looked at the dress critically. "I got the extra small, but– okay, no offense or anything, but have you gained weight or something?"

Carly stared at herself in the mirror. She hadn't really been paying much attention to her body in the past few months, and yes, maybe she was actually eating three meals a day, like normal people do, apparently, but… The girl in the mirror was not recognizable. Last Carly had checked, she had had the figure of an eleven year old boy. Not to say she had no curves, she just…never bothered to dress them up. But this dress made it obvious that those curves had increased.

She frowned and tugged the dress's top up, and when that failed, she tried pushing her cleavage down. Ruby harrumphed and said, "You are the only girl I know that _dislikes_ suddenly having bigger boobs. Lemme go see if I have something a little looser. Worse comes to worse, my mom can probably let it out a little."

Ruby disappeared back into her closet, and Carly eyed her reflection warily. She hadn't even noticed the change in size when she went shopping with Kate, just found things she liked and grabbed them in varying sizes to try on.

But staring at herself, she could tell that she had filled out in places. Her face had always been round, a baby-face, Elena had told her once, so it wasn't as obvious there, but her legs looked a little sturdier, her breasts a little fuller. Her waist was more defined, though obviously a tad thicker than it was a few months earlier, and her hips were…distinctly feminine.

She wondered if her eating her emotions to deal with not smoking had anything to do with it. And then she wondered if Tyler would still be able to lift her for dance class, because she did _not _want to have to change dance partners.

Finally, Ruby reemerged, and held up another dress, this time a costume for Aphrodite, in a S/M. "This ought to fit. Just be really careful with your hair, or else I'll have to redo it."

Carly nodded and slipped the dress over her head, the satiny fabric sliding off easily. Ruby handed her the new dress, made a face, and asked, "Do you want to borrow one of my bras?"

Carly glanced down and noticed that, yes, her cups did runneth over. Damn. She hadn't even noticed when she got dressed that morning. "Shit. Uh, sure. Just nothing lacy, please?"

Ten minutes later, Carly surveyed herself, yet again. This dress was white, and looser, with flattering draping around the hips, and a plaited gold belt under the bust. Ruby forcibly turned her around again, and nestled the gold circlet around her bun.

"There. Gorgeous. Now help me."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

At five, the party officially began, though girls from dance class had been showing up for the half hour before that, trickling in and eating and gossiping. There was the normal array of costumes, generally all short and tight, and Carly actually felt a little modest in her costume, but then again, that was how she liked it.

Ruby's costume, a skin tight sparkly jumpsuit ("I'm a disco ball. Duh.") kept catching the light, and Carly was tempted to throw a dark cloth over her, just to keep from getting distracted. As the group moved en masse to the club (they had been holed up in a room upstairs), Ruby blocked the stairway and said, "Are you bitches ready to have fun?"

Carly snorted as the group roared, "YEAH!"

"Are you ready to make 'dem boys feel the heat?"

"YEAH!"

Carly cut in, "Are you bitches ready to look like fools?"

"YEA–! Hey!"

The group broke into fits of laughter and shuffled downstairs, where the bouncer Ruby's family had hired for the night was beginning to let a couple of the guys from class in. Tyler was at the back of the group, grinning at something Damien had said to him and Reggie, and he glanced up and saw Carly walking down the stairs.

She looked up when she felt his eyes lock onto her, and saw him blatantly staring. When she reached him, she punched him in the shoulder, effectively breaking his trance, and said, "I understand it's hard for you to handle this level of awesome. Please try to mask your shock."

"You, my dear Hayes, are full of yourself."

"You know it."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

By eight, the party was in full swing; with people from Ruby's school as well as from her other various activities showing up in droves. Carly took another sip from her contraband beer, gripping the red cup as her stomach rolled. For whatever reason, the alcohol wasn't sitting as well as it usually did with her.

She swallowed hard, and bit her tongue, then grinned at Tyler who was making a show of dancing horribly. She set her drink down on the bar behind her and weaved her way through the crowd, stopping in time to duck an arm that was flailed in her direction. Tyler stopped dancing abruptly and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry, Carlini, didn't mean to almost decapitate you."

"Sure, sure. Dance with me?"

"'Course."

But, just as she stepped closer, a slow song switched on, and she glanced over to see Ruby grinning evilly and making gestures that must have meant she wanted Carly to dance with Tyler.

"M'lady?" Tyler was holding out a hand to her. She grabbed it and held on tight.

Dancing outside class was different, and generally she tried not to. But she must say, she didn't mind Tyler's hands at her back, warm and firm and weighing her down, keeping her feet on the ground, and she noticed that she wasn't stretching quite as much to clasp her hands behind his neck, a pleasant surprise if there were any.

Slowly, she leaned into him, and felt his arms tighten around her. After the dance ended, she returned to the bar, and found her drink where she left it, her name written neatly on the front. She took a sip and looked around, grinning against the plastic.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

By two, she was unabashedly smashed. But, then again, so were the majority of the partygoers, which was why they were now clustered around a single wine bottle, drunkenly debating whether to play Spin the Bottle or Truth or Dare. Carly was leaning towards Spin the Bottle, if only to avoid being dared to run around without her top on, _again_.

Finally, Ruby announced, "That's it! We're playing Truth or Dare. No questions, please. I'll go first."

Carly reclined against Tyler's chest, fitting into the V his legs made, and let out a breath. Tyler, the unquestionably most sober of them all, looked down at her in disbelief, then relaxed, and waited for Ruby to choose someone. Carly already knew what was going to happen, and braced for it. Ruby turned her slightly out of focus gaze onto her and grinned maniacally.

"Carly, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Kiss Tyler."

Carly rolled her eyes and twisted around, pecking his cheek just as Ruby said, "Lips, Carly. A _real _kiss."

Tyler was blushing to the roots, now, and she may have been a little flushed (it was the booze, seriously!). After an awkward beat, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his lightly.

It wasn't _amazing_, but it wasn't horrible, either. It was…comfortable. Familiar. Which was weird, considering they'd never kissed before. Ever. His lips were warm and he tasted like beer and pizza, and she figured that she tasted the same. After a minute, she pulled back and resettled against his chest, and he leaned backwards again.

Ruby looked slightly disappointed as Carly said, "Pass."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

At three, the party was officially over, and the majority of people had had their older siblings pick them up. A few of the older dancers hung back, which basically meant that Damien and Ruby were making out in some dark corner and Reggie and Jake were trading pills and Sarah and Emma were mooning over the boys in Tigerbeat.

Carly flopped down next to Tyler in one of the booths, and leaned against him, sighing, "I think my hangover is already starting."

"See, Carly, this is what happens to lushes."

"Shut it, Mr. Goody Two Shoes."

They fell into a comfortable silence, one that was broken by Tyler saying, "So…that was awkward, earlier, right?"

"Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, can't Ruby just lay off of us for a while?"

She twisted her head and grinned up at him. In an instant, Tyler had his lips on hers, and she wondered if he was drunker than she had guessed. This kiss was _amazing_, though Carly was loath to admit it, but she kissed back with as much fervor and broke for a minute to completely face him, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer. His hands were at her waist, before slipping down to grip her hips.

When the voices of Sarah and Emma floated over, they sprung apart, staring at each other in disbelief. Carly ran her fingers over her swollen lips and stared up at Tyler, the thought that he had…that she had let…incomprehensible. Just then, his phone rang, the shrill ring breaking the silence.

He flipped it open and glanced at it, before muttering, "I gotta go. My mom–."

"Yeah, totally. I'll, uh, see you Sunday."

And that was how it ended.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

A little past noon, Ruby and her mother deposited Carly in the lobby of her building, after Ruby had pumped her full of Advil for the wicked headache and ginger ale for her rather irritated stomach. She hadn't told Ruby about the incident with Tyler, nor did she plan on it, so she was slightly relieved once the elevator doors slid closed.

Her head was still pounding, so she leaned back against one of the walls and closed her eyes, sighing heavily as the pain pulsated. All too soon, the elevator dinged, causing her eyes to fly open in shock. Eventually, she hefted her bag further up on her shoulder and stepped out, ignoring the flash of pain that every step brought.

The loft was empty when she walked in, a note on the kitchen counter telling her that Rick and Kate had left for a meeting with a family law attorney and that they'd be back at around two. Which gave her about an hour and a half to kill, free and clear.

Instead of deciding immediately, she dropped her bag on the couch (she had recently been slightly more okay with further entrenching herself in the Castle home, leading to her leaving her backpack and books on the couch or in the kitchen for a night, perhaps, and only dragging it up to her room on Saturday), and made her way up the stairs where she pulled open the top drawer of her dresser.

Further entrenching also included organizing all of her various miscellaneous items into neat little compartments in the top two drawers of her dresser. After so long of living out of a duffel bag, it was still a little odd, and she still found herself reaching under her bed for her bag sometimes.

After rifling through a few of the other compartments, she scooped up the few dollars she had stuffed underneath some rings and necklaces (her 'emergency' stash; i.e. money she used for Starbucks and cab fare). In the kitchen, she scribbled her own note for Rick and Kate for when they returned and found her missing, _again_. After that, she left.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Starbucks was empty, except for the barista, and Carly ordered a hot chocolate, not even in the mood for caffeine. She was just sitting down in an armchair in the corner, about to strategically disassemble the newspaper she had bought, when the door opened. She glanced up and returned to her paper, until she realized, with a jolt, who had just walked in.

Mason didn't notice her, it seemed, and got his coffee before walking over to a table in the way back. He hunched over his coffee and talked quietly into his phone.

Carly recognized that tone of voice. He had just screwed up big time, and now his parental unit was chewing him out. The voice on the other end rose sharply, and Mason flinched slightly, almost unnoticeably.

This she recognized as well, the movements of someone that was terrified of something bigger than them.

She almost thought about going over to him. But she remembered the look on his face when he caught her sneaking out, and she thought better of it. After another minute, he flipped his phone shut, and glowered down at his coffee. She thought, _now or never_.

After shoving her newspaper off of her lap and popping the lid back onto her drink, she started over to him. About twenty feet off, her view of him was blocked by some curvy brunette, who slid into the seat across from him.

"Hey."

He looked up, eyes trained on the girl in front of him, completely oblivious to Carly's presence.

"Hey yourself."

His lips quirked up into a smirk, his eyes brightening as the girl said, "I really thought we had moved passed the repetitive greetings."

Carly backed away quickly, grabbing her paper and pushing the door open. The barista called out, "Have a nice day!", causing both Mason and the girl look up at her. She froze for an instant, a hot flash of jealousy coursing through her veins –_is she prettier than me?_– and her eyes caught Mason's.

After an awkward, heart-pounding second, she turned and walked out purposefully.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Carly, it seemed, has slid back down the slippery slope of communication, because during dinner she barely spoke, keeping her eyes cast down at her plate, which she barely touched, just pushed the food around with her fork.

Rick asked, "How was the party?"

A shrug was the answer, followed by what might have been a mutter of, "Fine," but then again, it could have been an emphatic sigh.

Kate asked gently, "Not hungry?"

Carly flinched slightly, almost unnoticeably, and muttered, "Nope."

After a beat of silence, she asked, "May I be excused?"

"Sure." She immediately slid out of her seat and carried her plate into the kitchen, abandoning it next to the sink and disappearing up the stairs.

Rick asked quietly, "So, normal teenage angst or something happened at the party?"

A door slammed upstairs and Kate answered, "I'm not quite sure."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Carly stared at herself critically in the mirror, making a face when she realized that, yes, she was indeed a little rounder and that it hadn't just been the effect of the few shots she and Ruby had done before getting ready. She tugged her tank top down further, succeeding in exposing her cleavage and bra some more –she'd have to remember to get that bra back to Ruby (God, she'd have to remember to ask Kate to take her _bra_ shopping (good God, she was going to _die_))– and she yanked it back up.

She pinched at her stomach experimentally and regretted it instantly when she actually was able to pinch something. Rolling up her tank top, she realized that she was no longer able to see her ribs faintly through her skin. Only when she inhaled deeply could she see them, and she suddenly wondered if this whole…inspection was particularly healthy.

She pulled her top back down and groaned as she threw herself onto the bed. She rolled over so that she lay spread eagle on her back, staring blankly up at the ceiling. She inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth, something one of her ex-therapists had taught her as a way to calm down. In this case, it was just something to fill the silence of her room.

A knock on her door brought her back, and she rolled over again so that her face was in the sheets again and the sound was slightly muffled.

She yelled, "Go away!" The demand was slightly less intimidating than she was going for, mostly because it came out muffled. Another knock.

She turned her head to the side to yell, "Seriously, I'm trying to sleep."

"Bullshit, your lights are on," Kate said.

Carly eyed the light switch on the far wall and replied, "I'm trying to learn to sleep with my lights on. For college."

"You've got another four and a half years for that. Carly, I just want to talk to you." Carly wrinkled her nose at the word _talk_. From her experience, talking never was a particularly happy thing for her.

While she pondered what to do, Kate said, "We can do this through the door, if you'd like."

"_Fine_. Come in."

She reburied her face in the covers and listened to the door opening, to the sound of someone walking on the carpet, and waited.

Kate shook her ankle and said, "Alright, sit up."

"No."

"Please?" Heaving a sigh, Carly rolled over and clambered up into a sitting position, pushing her hair out of her eyes afterwards.

She crossed her arms against her chest, simultaneously drawing into herself and hiding her scars rather effectively. It was only then that she remembered that she was wearing pajama _shorts_. Her first instinct was to cover her legs, but she hesitated, as Kate wasn't showing any signs of noticing her marred thighs, and she figured if she didn't call attention to it, it may be safer to just let it be.

She drew her knees up to her chest casually anyway.

Kate sat on the edge of the bed and asked, "Did something happen at the party?"

She immediately flashed to Tyler's lips, _right there_, and her eyes widened slightly. "Nothing happened at the party."

"Carly, you can talk to me."

Carly bit her lip. Maybe it was the after-effects of her hangover, or maybe her conscience was screaming, or _something_, but she blurted (mostly against her will), "I k–kissed Tyler. And I think he regrets it."

"Do you?"

"Ye– I don't know. A little, 'cause it screwed our friendship up."

"Just a little, though?"

Carly nodded slightly and said quietly, "In my defense, he kissed me first. I just…didn't slap him."

"Is that all that's bothering you?"

That was an excellent question. The whole gaining weight thing wasn't particularly new, as she knew that her weight changed at the drop of a pin, but perhaps seeing Mason and that other girl at Starbucks had her a little more tightly wound than she had first thought? She'd have liked to say that, but the backstory was a little too personal to get into.

Instead, she mumbled, "I'm fine."

There was a beat of silence, and then Kate asked, "Do you know how to bake?"

Carly, who had been studiously inspecting her nails, looked up and raised her eyebrows, saying, "Yeah…?"

"Do you want to make some brownies?"

"From scratch or from a box?"

"Scratch."

Her eyes widened in excitement, though she tried to hide it –God, it'd been almost ten years since she made anything from scratch, always from a can or a box when she was moving around, when she was living with her father– and maybe it was the thought of getting back into a kitchen (she'd always loved cooking, always found it natural for her) or maybe it was the promise of brownies afterwards, but Carly found herself grinning and saying, "That sounds awesome."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

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**Chapter forty-nine is complete! I hope you liked it, and please review**


	50. Chapter 50

**New chapter! I apologize for the long wait, but a lot has happened, the most jarring the suicide of my uncle. I had decided, after that, to take a leave of abscence from writing, in order to...collect myself, and clean up the mess that my life has slowly become. **

**However, as it turns out, it physically hurts me to not write. So, by way of grief therapy, I wrote the wimpy, fiftieth chapter to my longest running story, _Liar, Liar_. **

**Disclaimer: Disclaimed**

**Enjoy!**

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**XxXxXxX**

* * *

They didn't make nearly as many brownies as the recipe suggested, as, once Rick joined them, it was discovered that all three had a weak spot for brownie batter.

After successfully diminishing the brownie batter supply by both eating it and a small batter war that broke out (Carly was champion, as she was small enough to hide in a cabinet under the sink and scare her opponents by shrieking in an unearthly tone at the quietest of moments), they managed to bake about fifteen brownies (out of forty, actually).

Carly dusted some flour off her shirt and turned around to say something about their lack of focus, but was met with a hand smearing leftover batter across her nose and cheek.

Her mouth popped open and her eyes widened in incredulity as she stared at Kate, who was laughing at the shocked look her action had elicited.

"We have more batter?"

Rick appeared behind his wife, holding the bowl with the batter in question and he grinned maniacally, throwing in an evil cackle for effect, and said, "Child, you will regret your treacherous victory."

Carly eyed the batter bowl and said flatly, "So there _is_ more batter."

She looked back up at the pair that were creeping closer, a chocolaty glob in each of their hands.

She muttered, "Crap," before taking off in the opposite direction, intending to escape to her room and barricade the door, but her plans were derailed, as it seemed that Kate was faster.

Carly blamed it on having shorter legs and smaller lungs.

Either way, she ended up with chocolate in her hair, dripping down into her eyes, and she wiped some of it off her forehead and hurled it back at Kate, who ducked it.

Carly smiled winningly and asked, "If I surrender, will there be mercy?"

Rick called from the kitchen, "No mercy!"

As Rick approached, Carly sighed dramatically and pressed her hand to her forehead and, ignoring the sticky mess on her forehead and back of her hand, cried, "Oh, woe is me! The end is near. You know what they say; live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse."

She collapsed backwards onto the stairs and let out another dramatic sigh. Finally, she cracked one eye open and peered at the pair, who were watching her in bemusement.

"What?"

Rick grinned and said, "That's perhaps the most childish thing we've ever seen you do."

Carly responded by sticking out her tongue, causing Kate to smile and say over her shoulder, "I think that that beats it."

Carly wrinkled her nose and made a face before getting to her feet and tucking one chocolate covered curl behind her ear, not even caring at that point.

She sighed and said, "I feel like I just rolled through a mud puddle."

Rick told her, his eyes crinkling as he grinned, "And you look like it too."

She fought the immediate urge to stick out her tongue again, and instead announced, "I'm gonna go shower, since _certain people_ found me useful for freaking target practice. Have fun cleaning!"

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Showering was perhaps the worst thing to do, Carly learned, especially in her frame of mind. Whatever happiness she had been feeling, it went right out the window the second she had stripped down.

In all honesty, if she hadn't glanced up into the mirror, everything would have been fine, perfectly fine. But, she did glance up, like she always does, but this time with a new awareness.

Without even a tank top hiding her skin, the truth was hard to hide from. When she was able to tear her eyes away from the scars on her thighs, she studied her waist, and pinched at it experimentally, finding a little more flesh than normal to hold onto.

She pinched her fingers harder, and found that the pain was rather invigorating actually, but horribly familiar as well. A warmer, bigger, tanner hand replacing her own and she could've been twelve all over again.

It was then that she decided that life absolutely sucked.

She dropped her hand away from her body and stepped into the shower.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Fresh from the shower, and free from chocolate, Carly pulled her damp curls up into a ponytail and stared her dresser down. Or, rather, she stared the drawers of her dresser down. Standing in the middle of her room, wrapped in only a towel, she found that she had no clean pajama pants, only shorts and tank tops left.

Normally, this would've been fine, because whenever she changed into her pajamas, she rarely left her room at a time when someone would see her, always changing into her clothes for the day before going downstairs in the morning. And, at any other home, she wouldn't have cared, because it wasn't as if her former foster parents paid ever so much attention to her. But, unfortunately, _these_…not just fosters, not quite parents, so, er, these _people_ paid attention.

So, wandering downstairs with scarred thighs and wrists and hips and…she didn't really want to think about repercussions, but basically it was not an option.

She picked the longest pair of shorts and the tank top with the widest straps and grabbed her jacket to go over it, deciding that she could simply play it off as being coldblooded and basically a Popsicle all the time.

After she had gotten dressed, she wandered downstairs, tugging the sleeves of her jacket down as she went, and, much to her chagrin, her mouth may have started watering at the tantalizing smell of brownies that was wafting up from the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, she realized that there was still a bit of a mess, though significantly less than before. A second later, she was hit in the face with a dishtowel, and she scowled in the general direction it had come from.

"I don't handle projectiles well."

Rick calls, "Help clean!"

Glancing around, Carly spied a spot in the kitchen that was still covered in batter, and headed over there. Twenty minutes later, the kitchen was clean, as was the rest of the pseudo-battlefield.

Once dirty towels were piled on a kitchen counter, Kate served the brownies, playfully slapping both Rick and Carly's hands away when they reached for a crumb.

It was quiet as they ate, quieter than it would have been if Carly hadn't been restraining herself from groaning in pleasure with every bite. She was honestly not sure how long it had been since she had had a homemade brownie. But, damn, it tasted _good_. She had to fight herself from going to get another.

Rick asked, "Anyone up for a movie?"

The brownie had softened her.

That was a fact, because Carly simply laced her fingers over her stomach, smiled a little and said, "Yup."

Both Kate and Rick's heads swiveled in her direction, matching looks of surprise being sent her way, and Carly raised her eyebrows, hoping that it conveyed her message; _Keep questioning it, and I'll leave_.

She figured it did, because they both just smiled and Kate got up to pick out a movie.

Rick turned to Carly, who was, at this point, sitting in an armchair, on the other side of the living room. He patted the other side of the couch and said, "Join us. You look lonely over there."

Three hours earlier, and she'd have scoffed. Now, she simply smiled a bit wider, and got up and crossed to the couch, flopping down and tucking her legs underneath her.

She leaned on the arm of the couch, and ignored the look shared between the two adults at her compliance to the request.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

They ended up watching two movies, and an hour into the third, Carly conked out, her head resting on her arm as she snored softly. Kate smirked at the girl, and moved out from under her husband's arm to grab a blanket and toss it across her. She was about to drape it over Carly, when an explosion on the screen through extra light across the room, and reflected off of Carly's thighs.

Her…thighs?

"Turn on a light, Rick," she said quietly, as to not wake Carly. He complied silently, watching her questioningly. In the soft glow of the living room lights, the scars latticing Carly's thighs were easily seen.

"Ho-oly shit," Rick said softly as he peered over his wife's shoulder.

In thin, white letters, the word 'monster' was carved into the left leg, and on the right, the words 'good as dead' and 'worthless' were there, bold as day. Surrounding them were lines and x's and burn scars.

"Do you think it's…do you think she did all that?"

Kate's question was said quietly, mostly because she had the growing sense that she already knew the answer, but partly because she didn't want to wake Carly.

They left the movie running, but relocated to Rick's office, after that, in order to swallow the new knowledge without worry of waking Carly prematurely, before they figured out how to approach the situation rationally.

Once the door was closed, Rick asked, "Did you see her wrists?"

Kate snapped her eyes up to meet his and asked, "Her wrists?"

"There were…more. Some looked pretty new."

"Oh, God," she choked out, "oh, _God_."

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**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**So, it's not the fiftieth chapter extraveganza that I promised. Sorry! But, review?**


	51. Chapter 51

**I got bored, so I wrote the next ten chapters to this story, rewrote them all, edited, then tweaked a bit more. And, finally, you get this. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimed.**

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**XxXxXxX**

* * *

An explosion woke Carly, and sent her heart racing for a minute, until she remembered where she was, and that she had been watching a movie involving– Indiana Jones? Maybe. But, whatever, it was a moot point anyway.

The fact of the matter was that she was awake, and…alone? She glanced around. Nope, definitely alone.

Yawning, Carly stretched and cracked her knuckles, a bad habit of hers since she was a kid, and started to get up, when the door to Rick's office opened suddenly. Startled, she dropped back down on the couch, landing with a slight thud, garnering Kate and Rick's attention.

Her brow furrowed at them. They looked upset. Like, really upset. To the point that she wondered if, God forbid, someone had died.

These thoughts were dispelled when Kate's eyes flicked to her wrists, and then it all made a lot more sense. The fog that had settled over Carly's mind cleared immediately, and she jumped into damage control mode, wondering what they'd seen, what they thought, and how she'd explain it away. And did they have to look so goddamn sympathetic?

She said slowly, "Look, I'm not sure what you think, but it's probably worse than the situation warrants."

Kate asked bluntly, "How long have you been cutting yourself?"

Carly figured that the only way to face this was head on, and said honestly, "About three years, give or take a few months."

The pair made their way over to her and resumed their places on the couch, this time facing her. Rick asked, "Did you do all of it?" He gestured vaguely to her legs, and Carly glanced down, making a face at the words there, at the other scars.

She shook her head in lieu of answering, worried that her voice would give away just how much it killed her to talk about this. She looked up to see Kate covering her mouth and Rick looking ill.

Finally, after her non-statement sunk in, Rick asked gently, "What happened to you?"

She'd told this story before. God knows how many times she'd said it in her head, but the last time she told someone aloud? She ended up damn near broken hearted. But that was then, with a jackass who didn't care, and this was now, with two people that very obviously did care, Carly reminded herself.

She worried her bottom lip for a minute, before stating, "I've been abused in sixty-four foster homes."

She could have left it at that, be vague and let them fill in the blanks. But she couldn't, not now.

She continued, "A few…a few of them burned me," she pointed to a couple of cigarette burns, just north of her kneecaps.

She rubbed the word 'monster' and said, "My father did this, right after the accident."

She kept her eyes down as she said, "The 'good as dead' is my own work, same with the straight lines and a couple of the x's."

And…here was the hard part. She paused and drew in a breath, waiting to see if they'd push the issue.

Kate pressed, "The rest?"

"One of the homes…the, um, the dad–," she choked a little, because, dammit, all this time and it still owned her.

Carly blinked rapidly and continued shakily, a few traitorous tears escaping, "My foster father raped me. He, um, he burned me, too, with a lighter, to make sure that I–."

She broke off again, unsure of how to continue. Kate reached out to hold her hand, and, much as she disliked handholding, as a general policy, it helped.

"He burned me," she said, gesturing with her free hand to the burns higher up on her thighs, the ones that she hated most, "to make sure that no man ever wanted me again. His wife, my foster mom, she…caught him, with me."

She paused, and it was obvious that they're expecting her tell them how her foster mom took up for her, and reported her husband, but isn't that just cute? They should know by now that, when it comes to this part of her life, there are very few happy endings.

"She did this," she stated simply, slipping her hand out of Kate's and flipping her arm over to show the scars, and pointed to one near her elbow that read SLUT. She glanced up quickly, gauging their reactions before regretting it instantly. They looked horrified, as to be expected. The whole history, told by scars, it was a bit macabre, wasn't it?

She dropped her hand again, and Kate grabbed it, and squeezed her fingers reassuringly.

Carly pursed her lips. "This," she said, using her free hand to touch the 'worthless' scar lightly, a tear creeping it's way down her cheek, "was from the same woman, a couple of weeks later. She, um, she caught him again. And I was a better target. Quieter."

She took a deep breath and said softly, ashamed of her coping mechanism, "The rest was from me."

It was silent for several long moments. And then, Carly was being pulled over into a tight hug, both adults arms around her as she cried, the floodgates all but destroyed.

Was this what a family was? People that surrounded you when you were weak, held you up when you crumbled?

She couldn't remember.

But it didn't matter.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Eventually, the tears stopped flowing, and Carly was gently pressed for more answers. Robotically, she answered their questions, the numbers and various offenses rattled off as if they were memorized, which, honestly, they were.

The couple that locked her in a trunk for a weekend, because she hadn't done the laundry to their standard. The woman that made her 'service' her son, because he was a sick bastard that couldn't get any action otherwise.

The man that whipped her with an electric cord. The couple that locked her out in the backyard, in below zero weather, and how she got pneumonia and got so sick, she nearly died. The woman that broke her nose with the butt of an iron.

All the injuries, all the trips to the hospital she never made, all the times she scared the crap out of Elena by climbing the fire escape to her window, all bloodied up.

She told them about the man that cracked her skull with a frying pan, the woman that slammed her leg in the door of her car, the guy that made her strip for him.

She didn't blush in telling some of the more…disgusting things, if only because, when retelling it, it didn't seem like this stuff happened to her. It was like she checked out for the time being, retreated to a safe place where little girls aren't used as playthings.

She talked and talked, talked herself dry and then kept talking.

She told them about Liam, the boy that she trusted, way back when, who took her heart, rearranged it, and then decided to do a Mexican hat dance on it, crush it to powder.

She told them how he swore he loved her, swore on his mother's grave that he'd take care of her, that he'd get her out of the system. She told them how he was nearing seventeen when she met him, and that, at the beginning, when they were in the same foster home, he was nice, and sweet, and then he turned out to be just like all those other men, and how he left her.

She kept going, after that, too.

She told them about how, when she was eight, her father was drunk and touched her, and how she broke a plate over his head and he fell down the stairs, and she was _terrified_ that she'd killed him, but that didn't matter now, because she never reported it to anyone, because she'd been raised on secrets and family loyalty and 'what happens between a family, stays within the family, don't you understand, sweet Caroline?'.

She told them about how, when she was twelve, she went to the pushover social worker she had had at the time, and asked, sweet as apple pie, if she could please have her records, it's for a school project?

She also told them, quietly, how she'd known who Kate was for almost two years, and how Elena had convinced her to look into it, and how she had, and she had almost talked herself into finding her…until she saw the wedding announcement in the paper, and then she realized that she was probably just an unwanted skeleton in a closet that was never meant to be opened, so she stayed away and went on with her life.

At this, Kate tightened her arms around her and kissed her forehead, her temple, the top of her head. Made it clear to her that she was never just a skeleton in the closet.

Carly didn't realize how long she had talked, until she stopped in her hollow retelling of the man that broke two of her ribs with an ironing board to yawn widely, suddenly realizing just how tired she was.

She fell asleep like that, sandwiched between Kate and Rick, head resting on Kate's shoulder, and, for once, she didn't dream a single thing.

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**XxXxXxX**

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**Count this as part deux of the fiftieth chapter extraveganza. Review?**


	52. Chapter 52

**Disclaimed.**

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**XxXxXxX**

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When she woke, there was a gnawing sense of dread that blanketed her, enveloped her wholly, and made her wonder what the hell she'd done the night –morning?– before.

She vaguely remembered talking, and word vomit, and, oh, dear Lord, what had she done? Before she could worry too much more, she took stock of her surroundings. She was no longer on the couch, but in her room, cocooned in her covers, on her bed. She had to smile at that –she remembered falling asleep on the couch on Christmas Eve and waking up in her room, as a kid– but then she worried a bit more, before thinking, _ah, screw it_, and untangling herself from her sheets.

She took her time in the shower, took even longer when choosing what to wear. It wasn't in her nature to obsess over her appearance, at least clothing wise, but she found herself torn between a badass leather jacket from her recent shopping expedition with Kate and a maroon blouse, or a t-shirt that she'd had for God knows how long. Badass-ness or routine?

The leather jacket was calling to her, and, in order to face up to her actions and words from the night before, she'd need all the confidence she could get. When she remembered that she had her dance class, too, she took a little time to apply mascara and lip-gloss.

Makeup may have been employed to kill some extra time, but also, secretly, she kind of wanted to make an impression on Ty when she walked in. A lot had happened since they'd last seen each other (since they _kissed._ She blushed furiously and had to look away from her reflection to collect herself), and she wanted to make that known to him.

Also, if it turned out that he regretted that kiss, well, she'd look damn good while getting rejected.

Eventually, though, she ran out of things to do, and she took a deep breath before heading out into the hallway. She could hear voices downstairs, and could smell bacon frying, so she steeled her nerves, gathered what was left of her ailing confidence, and wandered down to rejoin the living.

She paused for a minute, however, to roll the cuff of her jacket sleeve once, on each side, to show just a bit of skin on either wrist, to show that, yeah, maybe she regretted spilling her guts a bit, but she'd at least own it. And then, she walked.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

She was greeted with a hug, and someone playfully ruffling her hair.

Said someone– Rick, she realized, when she got over the shock, said, "Hey kiddo, glad to see you're up."

She smiled lightly –so far, so good– and said, "G'morning."

He returned to tending the bacon, and Carly went to join Kate at the bar, who reached over to give her a hug as well. Silently, she slid the comics over to Carly (had she really been that obvious in her love of Sunday morning comics?), before returning to her own newspaper section.

And that was that.

No one said anything about her scars, anything about what she'd said about her foster homes.

She smothered her grin and pretended to be thoroughly engrossed in Garfield.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Carly tousled her hair a bit before walking into the dance room, pausing right before the doorway to take a deep breath. Inside, the normal groups were clustered, and she walked over to Ruby after checking to see if Tyler was there already– he wasn't.

Ruby commented, "Hot jacket."

"Thanks. You seen Ty?"

"No. Should I have?"

Carly rolled her eyes, glad to see that some things hadn't changed, and joined their conversation, sending nervous glances towards the door every few minutes. Finally, about three minutes before class started, he walked in.

Carly quickly excused herself from the conversation and headed over towards him, but, when he caught sight of her, he rushed into the boys changing room. _Coward._

She didn't see him again until, of course, she was changed out of her badass leather jacket and dressed in sweats and a tank top. She went to stand next to him, to wait for Mary and Marshall to start class, and he kept his eyes trained to the front of the class.

"Hey, Ty."

"Hello."

"…How was your weekend?"

"Fine."

"Alright then."

She glanced up at him, frowning at his blank face. Cautiously, she slipped her hand into his, only to have him yank his away, crossing his arms over his chest. She sent a cursory look at the door. It didn't open, so she caught Ruby's eye and gestured to Tyler, then to the door, and Ruby nodded, understanding her message.

After that was settled, Carly grabbed Tyler by the elbow and forcefully pulled him out the back of the classroom. She didn't stop pulling until they were around the corner, out of sight and earshot of the parents standing in the lobby.

"What the hell, Carly?"

She pinned him against the wall and stood on her tiptoes, so that she could look him in the eye without looking up too much.

"We kissed, Tyler."

He pursed his lips and looked angry, but she, still riding the freedom high she had gained from the night before, continued, "We kissed, whether you like it or not, we did. It happened, and neither of us can change that."

She paused to collect her thoughts, then said, "I don't regret it. I'll never regret it. If you do, then fine; let's pretend it didn't happen, just skate over it and move on, go back to how we were."

She stared him down (or is it up, considering the height difference?), her hazel eyes boring into his blue ones, and finally, he said, with a neutral expression, "Your eyes are really green today."

That was…not expected. She slid back down off her toes, and stared up at him. "Excuse me?"

Tyler reached out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear, and said, "Your eyes get really green when you mean what you're saying." Her lips quirked up into a hopeful smile.

Tyler sighed and said, "I thought I pushed you too far, that night."

Her smile faded, when she realized what he was alluding to, and then she said, trying to lighten the mood, "If you had, I wouldn't have hesitated in kicking your ass."

He wasn't having any of it. "But, still. I never want to be that guy to you, Carly. Ever. No matter what the situation, no matter how capable you are of ass kicking, I don't want to be that guy."

Carly reached up to shove some his hair back away from his eyes and said fiercely, "You're not like that, never have been, never will be. I trust you."

He wrapped his fingers around her wrist, his thumb rubbing the skin there lightly, and he asked, referring to the few times she had attempted dating, and then promptly complained to him about it, "I thought you were bad at relationships?"

"I am. I suck at them, actually. But I figure, we've been friend for almost five years. That's a pretty damn good start, right?"

"Yup."

"And if we've got that good of a start, and if you're patient with me…"

"Yes?"

"I think we can figure it out. Or bluff our way through it, at least."

"Is this your way asking me to be your boyfriend?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Carly snorted and rolled her eyes, responding, "No, doofus. I'm a diehard traditionalist. You ask me out, or no dice."

"I think I can agree to those terms and conditions."

Carly grinned and jumped a little, wrapping her arms around the back of Tyler's neck, and he wrapped his long arms around her waist, suspending her a few inches off the ground as they kissed.

When they separated, he said in a stunned voice, "I believe I can get used to that." C

arly laughed a bit, and dropped back down to the ground as she said, "C'mon, we better get inside. Mary's going to kill us, otherwise."

She turned to leave, when Tyler caught her wrist and said, "Friday night movie. We can walk from your apartment."

Carly shot a look over her shoulder at him, caught somewhere between amusement and irritation at him just telling her, rather than properly asking her out, but she responded nonetheless.

"You're buying me sour gummy worms."

"Wouldn't dream of anything else."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Sunday quickly became Monday, and Rick stayed home with Carly. Kate wasn't sure what damage she was expecting to be inflicted upon the apartment when she returned from work, but it definitely wasn't this. She picked her way around a stack of pillows carefully, and followed the sound of their voices, as clichéd as that might sound.

Eventually, she found the epicenter of the fort, and saw two shadows through the sheet. Dropping to her knees, she crawled in under the makeshift entrance and asked, "This is how you spent your day?"

Rick said in a disbelieving tone, "She's never made a fort before. _Ever_."

He jerked his thumb at Carly, who simply shrugged and moved another chess piece on the chessboard that sat upon two pillows that were acting as a table.

She commented, "I may've never built a fort, but I _am_ beating you chess." She glanced up at Kate, after capturing Rick's bishop, and said, "It's kind of sad, actually. He doesn't even know half of the moves I've used."

Rick said lightly, "Hush, child," before explaining to Kate, "I was telling her about the forts I used to make with Alexis, and she said she'd never made a living room fort before."

Kate settled down in between her husband and her daughter, getting a front row seat to the mostly-won chess game, and said, "So the obvious solution was to take over the entire first floor."

"'Course it was."

Carly suddenly made a face and said, "He also made a…a _smorelette_."

Kate swiveled her head back to her husband, who was shaking his head in mock-disapproval at Carly's obvious distaste, and she asked, "You subjected her to _that_?"

"One of these days, someone will understand the genius of the smorelette."

Carly protested, "I understand the genius, just not the taste."

Rick patted her arm lightly and said, "There's hope for you yet."

Kate glanced up and around at the fort, taking in just how expansive it was, and she asked, "How long'd this take?"

Rick and Carly looked at each other, and Rick said, "Four hours…?"

"I think it was closer to five. Remember, we had to stop for lunch at one?"

"Right, right. So, five hours."

Kate smirked at them, as Rick turned back to the chessboard to make a move, and Carly clucked her tongue and shook her head disapprovingly as he inched his knight forward and to the left.

She asked, "And after your mighty fortress was built?"

Carly answered without looking up from her contemplation of the game, "Well, we watched and dissected Blade Runner, followed by three Star Wars movies."

Rick boasted, "I taught her how to effectively play laser tag."

"_Without_ shooting myself," Carly added as she nudged her queen forward, "which is always nice when playing with lasers."

At Kate's questioning look directed at her newly moved queen, she said, "I've done this before. Anyway, then I had to go and open my big mouth about how I used to be on the chess team at school–."

"Which is totally expected, right?"

Carly rolled her eyes at Rick, who then captured her queen with his own, a move that elicited a delighted giggle out of the girl. Rick's eyes widened and he said, "You see, when you go and do that, I get extremely worried."

"Yeah, well, you should be. You, my friend, have just left your king unprotected," she said, as she pushed her pawn into position, effectively cornering the black king into a corner, with his knight blocking his only other escape.

"Check and mate."

Kate bit back a laugh and said as seriously as she could, "You've just been beaten by a teenager."

"With a short attention span, I might add," Carly said, as she began returning all the capture pieces to their beginning positions.

Rick groaned, "You are your mother's daughter. You even used my own piece against me. Completely ruthless, I tell you. _Ruthless_!" He paused. "Though, it'd be hilarious to watch you guys try and beat each other at this."

Both laughed at his suggestion, but then Carly said thoughtfully, "Actually, that's not a bad idea."

She turned to Kate and asked playfully, "What do you say, _Mom_, care to go up against the champ?"

And there it was, her calculated risk, her gamble, her theoretical jump off a cliff. Kate could see it in her eyes, no matter how carefully she schooled her face to look like she was just throwing down a challenge. And she could see that Carly knew that she'd see it too, that she'd understand what she was saying in that roundabout way that was _far _too familiar.

Sometimes, she saw too much of herself in Carly.

In the few seconds that she spent thinking about this, Rick had shifted over, so that his space on the black side of the chessboard was open for her to take.

Kate sighed and said, "Well, I guess I _have _to now, since we've made the old guy move." Rick tossed a pillow at her and made a face in retaliation, which she caught and tossed back at him.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

An hour in, they hit the theoretical pause button in order to get dinner, which was leftover takeout in front of the television, alternately discussing and making fun of the contestants on America's Got Talent.

From an outside observer, they looked like an average family, relaxing and enjoyed one another's company, unaware as to the storm that was brewing above them.

And, oh, what a storm it was.

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**Review?**


	53. Chapter 53

**Disclaimed.**

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Days bled into one another, until suddenly, October was November, and Thursday became Friday, and Carly was nervously pinning her half of her hair back into a barrette, feeling more anxiety than she thought she should over going out with Tyler.

In theory, it was not worthy of a stomach full of butterflies; she and Tyler had gone to the movies together on multiple occasions. But, as she smoothed her hands over the skirt of her dress, stepping back to check her outfit again, she realized that what made this different was that if she screwed it up, if she was her usual self when it came to dating, there was a hell of a lot more to lose.

Finally deciding that it was as good as it was going to get, Carly wandered out into the hall and then downstairs, having left her jacket, boots, and purse for the evening there by the door. Rick was in his office, writing she thought, and Kate was on the couch, poring over a case file, so she detoured into the kitchen, stopping at the fridge to pour herself a glass of water.

Kate looked up when she closed the fridge door, and she asked, "Isn't he meeting you at seven?"

Carly made a face at the reminder of her own irrationally early preparedness and responded around her glass, "Maybe. Call me when he's here, please?"

"Will do. How long's the movie?"

"Um, an hour and forty minutes, I think. It starts at seven fifteen, so I'll be home before nine."

"'Kay. You'll call if you guys are running late?" Kate phrased it as a question, but Carly could hear the unspoken non-negotiability. The realization that this would probably be how she and her mother –adoptive mother? Charlotte? Mama? She was torn as to what title to use, now– would be interacting, had she been alive, settled onto Carly's chest about as lightly as a ton of bricks, with the impact of an stampeding elephant.

She nodded dumbly in response, though she thought that Kate had returned to the case file. She rinsed her glass out before finding it a place in the dishwasher, then headed back upstairs, intent on sorting through the newest little revelation of hers before Tyler arrived. Once in her room, she dragged out her backpack and got out her English homework, figuring that she could multitask.

In the end, she did more homework than sorting, and made absolutely no emotional headway, something she figured she could talk over with Dr. G the next time she saw him, and when Kate called up the stairs, "He's here!" she was more than ready to leave. Analyzing Lord of the Flies was perhaps the worst idea she'd ever had.

Carly slid her book and binder off of her lap and hurried out into the hall, pausing for a minute to smooth the skirt of her dress before taking the stairs two at a time. The tiny voice in the back of her head was making fun of her eagerness, but she was also looking forward to possibly convincing Mr. Goody-Two Shoes to make out with her in the back of the theater, but there was only so much one could accomplish in an hour and forty minutes. She'd probably just get a kiss on the cheek, if she was lucky.

Tyler was standing next to the door, nervously tugging at the end of his dress shirt. Carly, in the time that she took to slide her boots on, grab her stuff, and say goodbye to Rick and Kate, took stock of his appearance.

His hair had been cut, somewhere between a buzz cut and a Guido haircut, and was, it seemed, styled to look messy. She wondered if Jackie had anything to do with that. He was also wearing a dress shirt, though it was untucked, and dressed down with a pair of jeans and scuffed Nikes. She suddenly felt rather overdressed. But when the door closed behind them,

Tyler halted in his steps and said, "You look really hot. Just to let you know."

She hadn't planned on going for hot, instead aiming for pretty, or maybe adorable even, but hot was good too. Maybe even better. She grinned up at him and said, "And I'm even nearly your height."

He looked a little shocked at this, even more so when he realized it was true, and he asked, "How high of heels are you wearing?"

"Five inches. Near deadly. Be flattered at the risks I take for you." They started towards the elevator, and she asked, "So, did Jackie or one of the twins do your hair?"

Tyler groaned, answering, "Actually, my mom did it. She was freaking out over me having a date, actually, even more so over the fact that it was you. Apparently she'd guessed I'd either work up the nerve to ask you out, or you'd get sick of not dating and just kiss me, thus forcing us into a relationship."

"So, the latter?"

"Duh. I'm a bit of a coward, if you haven't noticed."

The elevator doors slid shut, and she leaned up to kiss him, saying, "Yeah, well, 'least your cute."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

Carly leaned over and whispered, "By the way, don't get any ideas about me and a cat suit. Nor think about Scarlett Johansson, understood?"

Tyler grinned in the dark, and Carly could just barely make out his nod. He was finding it amusing, but seriously, had she really thought through the whole 'go see Avengers 2 with maybe-boyfriend' plan?

It was only after they'd gotten the tickets that she remembered just how much various women were seen strutting around in skin tight outfits in the first Avengers film, and by the time they were seated in the back, away from the few people sitting near the front (nerds, she thought, not altogether unkindly), she realized just how much of a mistake she had made in suggesting aforementioned film, and then promptly buying a large popcorn (to split, she had told him, but she figured that they both understood that that meant she'd probably eat most of it), a hot dog, and candy. If it wasn't already obvious that she'd gained weight, it would be after this.

Tyler squeezed her hand, as if understanding her worry, and said, "I've got a thing for brunettes." Despite herself, she found a smile creeping its way onto her face. But then he leaned over and whispered into the shell of her ear, "You are allowed to ogle Thor, Captain America, and Hawkeye for exactly three seconds each. Understood?"

Then, she simply smacked him on the arm, her smile becoming a grin, and she muttered, "You wish."

* * *

**XxXxXxX**

* * *

**It's filler full of fluff. *Sigh* **

**Also, a note to explain a thing in a part in the story (mouthful much?); the whole Avengers-No-Thinky-About-Scarlett-Johansson thing was because that actually happened to me, sort of, when I went with my boyfriend at the time to the Avengers, thinking it'd be a fun movie for date night, and he promptly forgot all about me and ogled her ass in that damn cat suit. So, obviously, I blame her for my subsequent break up. She's not really the problem, as the next day I found out that he was cheating on me, which actually facilitated our breakup, but the girl he was messing around with on the side looked like she could kick my ass, and would kick my ass without a second thought, and, well, isn't it always easier to blame celebrities? Anyway, that whole rambling was pointless, but nonetheless cathartic to write. Unfortunately, the guy I was with was obviously not as much of a gentleman as Tyler. So, sucks for me. **

**Also, writing this made me realize how much I hate being single, and thus made me feel extremely depressed, which will, I'm sure, lead me to rewrite the next chapter so that it is _extremely_ dark and depressing. So, WARNING: ANGST AHEAD. **

**Review?**


	54. Chapter 54

**please god no one kill me. or do kill me. it's exams right now, so feel free to do so. um, so...heh...heh... it's been ten (ALMOST ELEVEN OMFG) months since i've updated. i'm super sorry, but since i've gone back to my school (MY HOME BOYS, YEAHHHH), with my friends, fanfiction has been less of a necessity to me. **

** i mean, it's still very, very important to me, and always will be, but, as i'm now at a school with friends and people i enjoy being around, and, since i don't eat lunch alone anymore, i no longer am constantly writing. my own personal experiences recently, as well as my current place in life have changed my perspective on the world, and on this story especially. **

**as i've grown older, in the almost year between my last update and now, my opinions have changed, as has my writing style. carly, as a character, no longer seems natural to me, and i've found that i can no longer write her organically. her choices and actions that, up until this year, had seemed so rational and mature to me no longer appear that way, and this is where i have a problem.**

**as a writer, i hate not finishing things. however, i hate finishing things badly more. throughout this entire, expansive, giant, enormous, overly dramatic, insane story, i have written so many things that i never intended on writing, i no longer recognize the basic story which, in it's genesis, was of a girl learning to trust people, and of a family coming together. **

**so, um, i'm quitting. not fanfiction, and not carly, because she, in a slightly altered universe, is currently being written again. i'm quitting this story, with it's tragic twists and pointless turns. well, i'm lying a little. i'm not quitting this story entirely. i'm taking its basic story, i'm taking its main characters, and i'm rewriting. i'm changing some major things (SPOILER! elena lives! liam isn't just talked about! carly's older! caskett has a kid! jim beckett will actually be in this version!), and i'm adding in some different elements that i neglected in this version. i'm also cutting out a lot of unnecessary things, in order to try and cut down on chapters and to attempt to have the story wrapped at sixty (or less!) chapters.**

**again, i'm really sorry. i've seriously appreciated the support i've received from my readers, old and new, loyal and occasional. all the reviews, the favorites, the follows...they've given me self-esteem boosts when i've most needed them, and the constructive criticism that i've received here has shaped me irrevocably as a writer. **

**i can't say enough about the love i have for this story, and for the readers; you've all been so fantastic. i hope you all understand my decision, and i really hope that you'll consider reading the redux of this story. if you don't, i understand. there was a reason you liked **Liar, Liar**, and i get that you might not like the way i take the rewrite. however, whether you follow carly into her regeneration, or if you prefer to think of her as this version of carly, i know that she and i will always be in debt to you all.**

**in closing; this will be the final update of **Liar, Liar**. if requested, i will post the end i had written, along with a few snippets i cut out, as closure. i'll be writing the rewrite over the summer, and it should be completed and (hopefully!) posted by September 1st, 2013. the title, as of now, is** the anatomy of happy**, and i'm really excited about it. carly's a lot more mature, a little older, with a slightly different outlook on things, and it's been fun writing her so far.**

**again, i appreciate your support so much. thank you!**

**disclaimed.**

* * *

**ll**

* * *

It was Thanksgiving. Thanks-freaking-giving. Carly burrowed deeper into her bed in protest, though, in all honesty, she wasn't really protesting the holiday so much as the early hour.

Sleep had not come easy for her the night before, consisting of two hours naps broken up by nightmares of a faceless family sitting around a turkey that tried to carve her and, well, she was not in that good of a mood. This was on top of her sky-high anxiety over dinner that night. So, in short, she was verging on being a wreck.

This was the first Thanksgiving in about seven years that she wouldn't be spending alone, the first in four that she wouldn't be spending at a diner in Midtown that served mostly edible turkey and overly starchy mashed potatoes, but, oh, dear Lord, the pumpkin pie was delicious.

Cue the minor panic attack.

She decided that enough was enough, and that she wasn't going to go back to sleep. This she knew for certain. Instead of wallowing in her lack of necessary rest, she instead rolled over and got up and got dressed quietly. Alexis and Martha had arrived from their various current residences the night before, and Carly had basically kept to herself, not quite reverting to her old ways, but finding the gray area between who she was then and who she had turned into and staying there.

Needless to say, Carly was not in the mood for anyone to wake up and ask question her motives behind going out early. Rest assured, she wasn't planning on going out to smoke. Though she still got the occasionally bitchy withdrawal headache, she had basically lucked out and missed most of the horrible withdrawal symptoms that had kept her so opposed to quitting, and she had no intent to relapse and risk a full-fledged withdrawal nightmare. So, she wasn't going to go smoke.

What she was planning to do, if, God permitting, the fitness center she had just recently discovered was open this early on Thanksgiving morning, was run. Running had been her first love, back when she still believed in crap like that, in having something to do that made you smile and could fix your day.

Mama had been a runner, in high school and college, and Henry was into track and field, and Carly, at a young age, had shown a mild proficiency for the sport, though she lacked the dedication or the single-minded focus to run forward, and only forward. This resulted in her being a soccer player, rather than a runner, but as the years went on, and memories of her family faded, Carly found that a run, no matter the length, did wonders in making her feel like, at one point, she was actually part of their lives. So, she was going to run.

Unfortunately, she doubted how pleased Kate or Rick would be if she decided to run through the city, unsupervised and with only a note in her place, especially coupled with the fact that they would have no way to get in contact with her. Instead, she pulled her hair back and stepped into a pair of shorts that she was pretty sure had been Ruby's at one point, until Ruby gained weight and Carly didn't.

They were a little tight at the hips, where she generally wore them, but that was fine. Carly found that most of her old clothes were running a little snug in the bust and hips and ass and waist and, well, her old clothes were running a little snug. Downside number four hundred to eating three meals a day, like a normal person.

Carly scribbled a note on a piece of folder paper she fished out from the bottom of her backpack (something she affectionately referred to as 'The Abyss'), and folded into a nice little square as she wandered downstairs, her shoes in her other hand.

She deposited the note on the island in the kitchen, in plain view with the words DON'T WORRY in bold on the front. The door closed quietly behind her.

* * *

_**...fin...?**_

* * *

**for continued updates on **the anatomy of happy**, follow me on tumblr at **fatbeotchinaskinnyworld**.**


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